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This is our planet.

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Planet Earth.

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It's a planet I'm
literally on right now,

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and unless you're watching
this on a long-haul flight

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or while falling off a building,

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chances are you are, too.

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This is the incredible story of how
humankind transformed our world

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from being a load of
pointless nature like this

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to full of modern
things like this...

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CAR BEEPS

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..and how it did it using
nothing more than its hands...

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..and its imagination,

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and also tools and electricity

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and the internet.

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It's a journey that'll take me
to every corner of the globe

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money and pandemic travel
restrictions would allow,

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getting up close to some of our
species most stunning achievements.

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And I'll be asking questions...

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Who are you?

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..to leading academics,
clevernauts and expertists

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who will help me unlock
the mystery of human civilisation.

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Why do they say it's a mystery
how the pyramids were built

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when it's obviously just
big bricks in a triangle?

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This is not just the story
of the planet we live in.

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This is the story of the
world we live on. Or both.

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So, join me, Philomena Cunk,

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for a landmark look at
the world we built together.

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This is Cunk on Earth!

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This programme contains some
strong language

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For billions of years,
there was no civilisation on Earth.

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Just animals, plants and gases,
getting on and mingling.

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Must have been beautiful,
but also boring.

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Until along came a creature
that would change all that -

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human man.

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Was Early Man similar to us?

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I mean, was he made out of
the same sort of meat that we are?

37
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You know, did it have a
brand name like beef or pork?

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As far as we can tell, they were
made out of the same stuff as us.

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All we have is bones, of course,

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and they're exactly
the same as our bones.

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We can only assume that the bones
were encased in flesh,

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something like ours, but I'm not
aware of any kind of brand name

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that they would have had.
So it would have just been flesh?

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Just flesh, I think, yes.

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It would be hard to come up with
a brand name for human flesh,

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wouldn't it?

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"HuF"?

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We often assume early men were
stupid because they had big eyebrows

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and said, "Ug," but in fact
they were pioneering inventorers.

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They were the first men to use
tools, which is something most men

51
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have forgotten how to do today,
which is why they have to get

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someone in - a real man.

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How did Early Man make tools
whilst walking on all fours?

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Well, we don't think that they
walked on all fours for too long.

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We're pretty sure they were walking
upright for at least

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the last two million years.

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So, did they make the tools
with their front legs

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or their hind legs?

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Well, I don't think humans have ever
been very good at making things

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with their feet, so, yes, it would
have been the front legs

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that they used for
making tools. Right.

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So, in leg terms, it would
have been their top legs? Yes.

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I think they would certainly have
used the top legs for making tools,

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or arms and hands
as we call them today.

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One thing they did invent was fire,

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which allowed them to see
at night and kept them warm,

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tragically prolonging
their already tedious lives.

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But they had to invent
something to do

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during the long, boring evenings,
and that something was art.

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I'm entering a cave, not by mistake
or because I'm a wolf...

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..but because I've been specifically
asked to come here by the producers

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to look at cave art.

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Cave paintings like these

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are one of the first examples
of civilisation on Earth.

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Don't worry, it gets better.

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Early cave artists started out
painting whatever was close to hand,

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like their hands.

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Then, they branched
out into stories.

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Initially, just boring stories

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about cows standing still.

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But soon they began creating

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white-knuckle fight
scenes like this.

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Humans versus cows 2D.

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To a caveman, this was
the thrilling equivalent

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of Fast and Furious Part 7.

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Have any of the cave paintings
been adapted into films?

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Suppose they couldn't get the
rights anyway, though, could they?

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Film-making, obviously, arose
much, much later than the end

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of the cave paintings.

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So, there hasn't been a cave
wall that's been like,

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"Oh, my God,
that's an incredible story.

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"We need to get Steven Spielberg
to make this"?

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It would be hard to come
up with a story that would last

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an hour and a half based on
just one panel in a cave.

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Some believe these violent images
were painted as religious acts

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intended to bring good luck
in upcoming battles.

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We don't know why humankind
was at war with the cows

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and, tragically, we never will.

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In fact, we'll probably never even
know the name of the artist

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or these cows,
because whoever painted this

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is almost certainly dead now.

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Hunting animals every day
was a pain in the arse

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until someone came up with
the idea of also eating plants,

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which were easier to catch
because they couldn't run away.

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This simple act of laziness led
to the invention of farming,

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a huge leap forwards,

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which was now more dangerous
because you might land

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on one of the farming implements
that were suddenly lying around.

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The early farmers grew wheat
and learned to bake bread.

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They also grew barley,
peas and lentils,

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so they could have made
a passable vegan burger

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to put inside the bread

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but, luckily, they didn't have to.

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Because they'd also
invented this - the fence.

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A high-tech wooden machine
for containing animals.

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Humans quickly enslaved
sheep, chickens, goats

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and their number one enemies,
the cows.

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Farms became a lot like zoos.

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Except, of course, in a zoo,
you can't pick out an animal

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you like the look off
and kill it and eat it.

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Unless, perhaps, the zoo itself
is struggling financially

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and the owner's lost all hope.

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Humans turned animals
they couldn't eat or ride into pets

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if they were pretty enough.

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Early Man domesticated
dogs for companionship...

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..and cats for whatever
we have cats for.

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This was the first time in history
life could be described as cosy.

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People lived in proper houses,

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which soon grew to become cities.

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It's hard to believe
I'm walking through the ruins

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of the first-ever city,
because I'm not.

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That's in Iraq, which is miles
away and fucking dangerous.

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But the remains of it look
pretty much like this,

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so you'd never know
I wasn't actually there

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if I wasn't telling
you now by accident.

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Today, it's just a dismal
load of bricks and dust,

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but if you use a modern computer to
simulate what it used to look like,

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the results are nothing
short of breathtaking.

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Civilisation had begun.

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Who invented civilisation?

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Civilisation wasn't something

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that was invented

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or something that started abruptly.

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We talk about civilisation
once humans started agriculture,

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once they started building cities

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and creating laws.

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That was something that happened
gradually in different parts

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of the world rather than just
being invented suddenly. Yeah.

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So, it wasn't just one man

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who wanted to remain anonymous?

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No. Cos that would be something we
shouldn't go along with if it was.

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Do you mean we
shouldn't go along...?

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If it was one man
who wants to remain anonymous,

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there's something a bit shifty
about that, isn't there?

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So, civilisation was
invented in Mesopotamia

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by person or persons unknown.

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But whoever they were, they
were way ahead of their time.

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Did the Mesopotamians have any of
the same things that we have today?

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Yes.
Like what?

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Weapons, jewellery,

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temples, animals.

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Right. No, I meant, like, feet
and eyebrows and that sort of thing.

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Yes, yes.
They did?

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They had the whole set of organs,

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holes, bits that work together,

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and bits on the outside,
bits on the inside.

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So they had the same number
of holes and everything?

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As far as science is in a
position to reassure you, yes.

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One of their most
significant killer apps

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was something we still use
to this day - the circle.

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Wheels might look complicated
to the likes of you,

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but the way they work
is actually simple.

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The circle bit here revolves
around a sort of sticky out bit

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in the middle,

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and then, as the wheel skin here
pushes against the ground,

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the pressure rolls the entire
planet back and away from you,

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giving you the impression
that you're moving forward,

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which, incredibly, you actually are.

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The wheel allowed people to
travel around trading things,

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but first they needed to count
how many things they owned,

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and that led to the tragic
invention of maths.

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Let's talk maths and numbers.

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Were numbers worth less
back in ancient times

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or did they have the same
value as now only bigger?

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Numbers had the same
value as they do now

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in ancient times, yeah.
People still needed to count things.

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And did they have the same
number of numbers as we do,

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you know, from one to 700,

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with 700 being the biggest number?

190
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700 has never been
the biggest number.

191
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You can count to as
many as you like.

192
00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:05,440
No, no. I saw a thing on YouTube -

193
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after 700, numbers repeat.

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They just give them different names
so you think they're still going up.

195
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Do you want me to send it to you?

196
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With numbers going as high,
but no higher than 700,

197
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people needed something
to help them count.

198
00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:22,080
That's where this came in.

199
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It's called a bacus.

200
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Using a bacus, our ancestors
could count how many

201
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possessions they owned.

202
00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:34,160
It was a short step from this
to the invention of money,

203
00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:36,160
in the form of cash.

204
00:10:36,160 --> 00:10:39,640
Ancient people invented currency
to make life on Earth easier,

205
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but in doing so, they inadvertently
invented capitalism,

206
00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:44,360
which is going to kill everyone.

207
00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:48,560
Sorry, that's not a question. It's
just something I read on Twitter.

208
00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:52,600
Having conquered numbers,
humankind moved on to something

209
00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:57,080
even more boring
by inventing writing.

210
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Was the invention of writing
a significant development

211
00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:04,520
or more of a flash in
the pan, like rap metal?

212
00:11:04,520 --> 00:11:06,640
I think once writing was thought up,

213
00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:10,080
once it appeared in the world,
it was unstoppable.

214
00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:12,880
So, it was much, much
bigger than rap metal then?

215
00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:15,520
Yes, much bigger.
What about acid jazz?

216
00:11:15,520 --> 00:11:17,600
Hmm...

217
00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:19,600
I still would put
writing ahead of it.

218
00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:21,720
No, I just wondered what
you thought of acid jazz.

219
00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:23,240
What's this? It's a cast.

220
00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:24,880
It's not the real thing.

221
00:11:24,880 --> 00:11:29,120
It purports to stand in for
a Mesopotamian clay tablet

222
00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:30,840
written in cuneiform writing.

223
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The first kind of writing
that appeared in the world -

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writing on clay tablets.

225
00:11:34,680 --> 00:11:37,920
As books go, I have to say it's
quite a boring cover, isn't it?

226
00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:40,160
It doesn't even look
like it opens properly.

227
00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:43,360
Are you one of the people
that judges a book by the cover?

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00:11:43,360 --> 00:11:44,560
Yeah, I am.

229
00:11:44,560 --> 00:11:46,840
That's a sad and misguided view.

230
00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:51,720
If someone shouted this aloud, would
that have been the first audiobook?

231
00:11:56,360 --> 00:11:57,600
No.

232
00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:01,280
Writing changed the world.

233
00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:04,360
Suddenly, ideas didn't have
to disappear just because the person

234
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whose head they were
trapped in had died.

235
00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:10,800
Instead, you could convert
your ideas into writing,

236
00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:14,280
and then anyone else could come
along and upload those ideas

237
00:12:14,280 --> 00:12:18,520
into their own brain by wirelessly
importing them through their eyes.

238
00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:24,240
Incredibly, despite being invented
thousands of years ago,

239
00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:26,440
writing still exists today

240
00:12:26,440 --> 00:12:29,720
underneath video clips
that we watch online.

241
00:12:29,720 --> 00:12:32,720
And it's here you'll also find
another kind of handmade language

242
00:12:32,720 --> 00:12:35,400
that still endures - emoji.

243
00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:38,160
Or as the ancient Egyptians,
who invented them, called them -

244
00:12:38,160 --> 00:12:40,680
hieroglyphics.

245
00:12:40,680 --> 00:12:44,320
They told whole stories
in hieroglyphic code.

246
00:12:44,320 --> 00:12:46,520
It's like a more
coherent Marvel comic.

247
00:12:46,520 --> 00:12:48,520
Rather than being put up in public

248
00:12:48,520 --> 00:12:50,680
where living people
could enjoy them,

249
00:12:50,680 --> 00:12:54,720
these Egyptian comic strips
were painted on the walls of tombs

250
00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:56,920
to entertain dead people,

251
00:12:56,920 --> 00:13:00,640
and those tombs laid beneath
some of the most recognisable,

252
00:13:00,640 --> 00:13:04,440
not to mention pointiest,
buildings in history.

253
00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:06,560
I'm talking about the Pyramids.

254
00:13:06,560 --> 00:13:09,360
Looking at the Pyramids today,
it's impossible not to be struck

255
00:13:09,360 --> 00:13:11,920
by the thought that they're
basically big triangles

256
00:13:11,920 --> 00:13:14,120
with a sort of square arse.

257
00:13:14,120 --> 00:13:15,840
There's probably a
word for that shape,

258
00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:18,040
but literally no-one
knows what it might be.

259
00:13:18,040 --> 00:13:21,000
It's one of the many timeless
mysteries of the Pyramids.

260
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:23,320
Why are pyramids that shape?

261
00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:26,280
Is it to stop homeless
people sleeping on them?

262
00:13:26,280 --> 00:13:28,880
I don't think they had many
homeless people in ancient Egypt.

263
00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:30,840
Oh, did they not?
No, no.

264
00:13:30,840 --> 00:13:34,080
People looked after each other,
I think, and helped each other.

265
00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:38,360
Right. I suppose it's good with
rain cos it'll just roll off.

266
00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:40,720
How did Egyptians
build the Pyramids?

267
00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:43,160
Did this start at
the top and work down?

268
00:13:43,160 --> 00:13:45,120
Or start at the bottom
and work up?

269
00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:47,600
They had to start at
the bottom and work up

270
00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:50,760
because it would be impossible to
start at the top and work down.

271
00:13:54,320 --> 00:13:57,120
The Egyptians believed the most
significant thing you could do

272
00:13:57,120 --> 00:14:00,080
in your life was die,
and the more important you were,

273
00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:02,720
the more complicated
your death had to be.

274
00:14:02,720 --> 00:14:06,800
Egyptian kings were known as
pharaohs and, when they died,

275
00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:10,600
they'd get turned into mummies
of Scooby-Doo fame.

276
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:15,080
The ancient Egyptians were obsessed
with dead people, weren't they?

277
00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:17,360
But they're all dead themselves now,

278
00:14:17,360 --> 00:14:19,680
so do you think
they still feel that way?

279
00:14:19,680 --> 00:14:22,720
The ancient Egyptians weren't
obsessed with dead people

280
00:14:22,720 --> 00:14:24,880
but, actually,
they were obsessed with life.

281
00:14:24,880 --> 00:14:27,320
They wanted to be alive,
and they wanted to make sure

282
00:14:27,320 --> 00:14:29,360
that, when they died,
they came alive again,

283
00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:31,160
and that's why they
did mummification.

284
00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:33,840
So, how did they mummify people?

285
00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:36,120
Talk me through the process.

286
00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:37,880
You'd get your dead body

287
00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:40,520
and you'd you lay it out on a table,

288
00:14:40,520 --> 00:14:44,160
and then you wash it, and then
you start by removing the brain.

289
00:14:44,160 --> 00:14:48,240
Then, they would cut open
down the middle of the body.

290
00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:50,840
They would take out anything
that they thought would rot,

291
00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:53,520
and then they would cover
it in salt and dry it out,

292
00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:55,160
and then they would
wrap it in bandages,

293
00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:57,160
and then, that would be a mummy.

294
00:14:57,160 --> 00:14:58,800
So, the kind of spa treatment

295
00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:01,800
that Gwyneth Paltrow
has on a weekly basis.

296
00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:05,040
Has a mummy ever ridden a bicycle?

297
00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:06,720
Not that I know of, no.

298
00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:09,560
But the ancient Egyptians
didn't have bicycles.

299
00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:11,760
Right.
They didn't even have roads.

300
00:15:11,760 --> 00:15:14,440
So, they couldn't have a bicycle
cos they couldn't ride a bicycle.

301
00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:16,880
I don't know why I asked that.

302
00:15:16,880 --> 00:15:19,080
I just couldn't think
of anything else to say.

303
00:15:21,160 --> 00:15:25,320
While the pharaohs of Egypt left
a legacy of temples and tombs,

304
00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:29,800
across the water, an even more
impressive empire was appearing.

305
00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:32,320
Greece - the country,
not the musical -

306
00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:35,960
was where the birth of
civilisation was born.

307
00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:39,120
The ancient Greeks invented
lots of things we still have today,

308
00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:40,840
like medicine and olives,

309
00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:45,800
and lots of things that have died
out, like democracy and pillars.

310
00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:48,600
As well as these impressive ruins,

311
00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:53,160
the ancient Greeks also developed
culture in the form of yoghurt

312
00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:56,320
and theatre in all
its tedious forms.

313
00:15:56,320 --> 00:15:58,800
The Greeks were into tragedies.

314
00:15:58,800 --> 00:16:00,960
In a tragedy, sad things happen,

315
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,480
like people dying
or killing themselves,

316
00:16:03,480 --> 00:16:07,240
but the ancient Greek
tragedies happened ages ago.

317
00:16:07,240 --> 00:16:10,120
Are the things that
happen in them still sad?

318
00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:14,560
They are still sad because what
the tragedies tell are stories

319
00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:18,600
about humans who we can
relate to in some cases.

320
00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:20,440
But it was so long ago.

321
00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:22,080
Why should I care?

322
00:16:22,080 --> 00:16:26,560
Well, again, tragedy is often
about human situations.

323
00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:29,720
Even today, if you found
out that by accident,

324
00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:32,040
you'd killed your own father
and married your mother,

325
00:16:32,040 --> 00:16:35,400
you'd be quite upset,
just as Oedipus was.

326
00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:38,480
Maybe I'm cold, but I just
don't give a shit about people

327
00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:40,520
in ancient Greece.

328
00:16:40,520 --> 00:16:42,200
That's a shame.

329
00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:44,600
Do you?
I do care quite a lot.

330
00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:46,440
Yeah, it's my job.

331
00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:50,320
My mate Paul wrote a story
about a man who got a new potato

332
00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:53,480
stuck up himself following
an ill-advised sex game.

333
00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:55,800
And he wrote that in
the form of a limerick.

334
00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:58,800
No-one died,
but it sounds horrendous.

335
00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:00,880
Is that a tragedy,

336
00:17:00,880 --> 00:17:05,440
or would the potato have to take
root and kill him for it to qualify?

337
00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:08,240
It sounds like a very
unfortunate incident.

338
00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:11,120
I'm not sure it has a
more timeless relevance

339
00:17:11,120 --> 00:17:13,320
that might make it a tragedy.

340
00:17:13,320 --> 00:17:15,520
Paul said it really
happened, as well.

341
00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:17,760
Honestly, he's had such
a time of it lately.

342
00:17:17,760 --> 00:17:18,960
He really needs a holiday.

343
00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:24,640
The Greeks also created a kind
of theatre for stupid people,

344
00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:26,880
known as sport.

345
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:30,080
They started the Olympic Games
without inviting other countries

346
00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:32,920
to ensure Greece would win.

347
00:17:32,920 --> 00:17:36,800
The contenders at these early
Olympics took part completely naked,

348
00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:40,160
partly because an athletic
physique was considered a virtue,

349
00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:42,880
but mainly because
Lycra wasn't available.

350
00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:45,720
I heard that, at the early Olympics,

351
00:17:45,720 --> 00:17:48,200
athletes had to compete in the nude.

352
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:50,600
So, they did compete naked.

353
00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:53,280
There are writings about this

354
00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:56,600
being quite an erotic
sight in some cases.

355
00:17:56,600 --> 00:17:59,400
With wrestling, with all
that wriggling about,

356
00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:02,040
they'd have seen right up
their bumholes and everything.

357
00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:05,240
Couldn't they censor it for people
watching it in the auditorium -

358
00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:07,320
modesty patches or something -

359
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:10,680
or ask people to close their eyes
each time someone bends over?

360
00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:15,120
I think that probably
wouldn't have worked.

361
00:18:15,120 --> 00:18:17,440
But you'd have seen
right up their bumholes.

362
00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:20,080
In some cases,
people might have done.

363
00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:22,480
Did Zeus really approve of that?

364
00:18:25,120 --> 00:18:28,640
But perhaps the most famous form
of wrestling the Greeks invented

365
00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:30,680
was mental wrestling.

366
00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:34,040
Philosophy is basically
thinking about thinking,

367
00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:37,120
which sounds like a waste
of time because it is.

368
00:18:37,120 --> 00:18:40,200
Although a philosopher might argue
that that time they've wasted

369
00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:41,920
never existed in the first place,

370
00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:44,480
at which point you probably
give up talking to them

371
00:18:44,480 --> 00:18:46,080
and open a packet of biscuits.

372
00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:51,720
These are the ancient Greek
philosophers. Not the actual ones.

373
00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:53,680
There'd be a lot of
dust and bones now.

374
00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:55,440
Maybe some teeth if you're lucky.

375
00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:59,320
These are just clever
simulations made of rock.

376
00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:01,120
The Greek philosophers came up

377
00:19:01,120 --> 00:19:03,720
with bold new theories
about life on Earth.

378
00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:05,800
That's why we still
know their names today,

379
00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:09,600
even though they haven't put
out any new material in ages.

380
00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:11,280
Socrates.

381
00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:12,760
Pythagoras.

382
00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:14,120
This one.

383
00:19:14,120 --> 00:19:16,160
Him.

384
00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:17,800
And this is Plato.

385
00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:20,880
As you can see, even now,
centuries after his death,

386
00:19:20,880 --> 00:19:22,880
he's still deep in thought,

387
00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:25,080
concocting clever
theories in his head.

388
00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:28,240
If only we could hold a microphone
to the side of his brain

389
00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:30,600
and hear them for ourselves,
but we can't.

390
00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:32,440
And even if we could,
there'd be in Greek,

391
00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:35,480
which no-one on our
production team can speak.

392
00:19:35,480 --> 00:19:38,320
Plato handed his wisdom
on to a student

393
00:19:38,320 --> 00:19:42,120
who would become one of the most
influential thinkers of all time -

394
00:19:42,120 --> 00:19:43,440
Aristotle.

395
00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:46,320
Aristotle said a lot of
clever things, didn't he?

396
00:19:46,320 --> 00:19:50,080
My favourite is, "You've got to
dance like nobody's watching."

397
00:19:50,080 --> 00:19:54,560
It's so true, and you
can apply it to anything.

398
00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:59,120
Because my confidence
is quite brittle at times,

399
00:19:59,120 --> 00:20:01,480
and I know I come across
as quite confident,

400
00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:04,520
but sometimes,
when I'm talking to experts,

401
00:20:04,520 --> 00:20:09,680
I worry that, you know,
I might come across as a bit stupid.

402
00:20:09,680 --> 00:20:13,240
And when I think of,
"Dance like no-one's watching,"

403
00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:16,480
that really helps me.
You know, it's like a gift.

404
00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:19,160
What made Aristotle think of that?

405
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:24,640
I'm not aware that Aristotle
said that particular thing

406
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:27,880
about dancing when
no-one's watching.

407
00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:31,120
I don't think he said that.
He did, didn't he?

408
00:20:31,120 --> 00:20:34,600
If he did, I don't know
and I don't know why,

409
00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:37,000
but I don't think he did.

410
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:40,960
Is there something similar
that he might have said,

411
00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:43,920
something about one's confidence?

412
00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:47,360
Erm, I don't think so.

413
00:20:48,360 --> 00:20:49,600
Right.

414
00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:52,800
OK.

415
00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:58,040
Experts may disagree over
what they actually said,

416
00:20:58,040 --> 00:21:01,800
but there's no doubt these Greek
pioneers changed the way we think.

417
00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:05,040
Did a philosopher ever
think of an idea so big

418
00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:06,880
it split their head open?

419
00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:08,560
Not that I'm aware of.

420
00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:11,360
You know how the human
brain is full of pipes?

421
00:21:11,360 --> 00:21:13,600
Philosophers...
I'm not.

422
00:21:13,600 --> 00:21:15,800
You didn't know about that?
I didn't know about that.

423
00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:17,840
OK, well, the brain's full of pipes.

424
00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:21,520
You know how philosophers
have these thoughts

425
00:21:21,520 --> 00:21:26,160
and they try and push these
thoughts through these pipes?

426
00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:29,240
When you're having a big idea,
is it best to break it up

427
00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:32,280
into lots of little thoughts,
about the size of peas,

428
00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:34,920
and squeeze them through
in quick succession,

429
00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:37,920
or just bite the bullet
and force it through your mind pipe

430
00:21:37,920 --> 00:21:39,560
in one huge clod?

431
00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:42,960
Like, gritting your teeth
and thinking for dear life.

432
00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:46,280
Well, that's a very interesting way

433
00:21:46,280 --> 00:21:50,240
of describing two general
tendencies in philosophy.

434
00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:52,880
One, the more analytic style,

435
00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:55,920
which means cutting problems up

436
00:21:55,920 --> 00:21:59,280
into bite-sized portions.
Peas.

437
00:21:59,280 --> 00:22:02,960
And the other,
a more synthetic approach,

438
00:22:02,960 --> 00:22:07,160
which takes on a larger perspective.

439
00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:11,080
So, your
characterisation is, in fact,

440
00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:13,840
a rather intriguing delineation

441
00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:17,360
of two major strands
in current philosophy.

442
00:22:18,320 --> 00:22:20,760
Is that good?
Excellent. Oh, great.

443
00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:26,040
Meanwhile, ancient Greece
was being spread across the globe

444
00:22:26,040 --> 00:22:29,400
by this man - Alexander the Great.

445
00:22:29,400 --> 00:22:32,480
Alexander the Great
became a king at 20,

446
00:22:32,480 --> 00:22:36,640
conducted a military campaign
throughout the Middle East,

447
00:22:36,640 --> 00:22:40,880
and had an empire stretching
all the way from Greece to India

448
00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:42,400
by the time he was 30.

449
00:22:42,400 --> 00:22:45,160
What did his hair look like?

450
00:22:45,160 --> 00:22:46,440
I don't know.

451
00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:52,280
And Alexander wasn't the only
megastar with his own empire.

452
00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:56,640
Huge swathes of China had
been unified by Qin Shi Huang,

453
00:22:56,640 --> 00:22:59,560
the first cartoon character
to found his own empire

454
00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:02,160
and build the Great Wall of China.

455
00:23:02,160 --> 00:23:06,480
They say the Great Wall of China
is the only landmark

456
00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:08,280
audible from space.

457
00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:12,000
Yeah, you can't hear it.

458
00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:14,920
And they say that you
can see it from space,

459
00:23:14,920 --> 00:23:17,280
but it's not true.

460
00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:19,480
They've tried.
You can't see it from space?

461
00:23:19,480 --> 00:23:23,160
Chinese astronauts have tried to see
the Great Wall and they can't.

462
00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:24,720
They can't see it.

463
00:23:24,720 --> 00:23:27,440
So, it's invisible. It's an
invisible wall, like a forcefield.

464
00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:30,080
It's only invisible from space.

465
00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:32,280
On the ground,
you can certainly see it.

466
00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:34,200
That's so weird, isn't it?

467
00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:36,280
Is that one of
the great mysteries?

468
00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:37,960
And do we know if China has a roof?

469
00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:41,240
Is there a Great Roof of China?

470
00:23:41,240 --> 00:23:42,840
No, no great roof.

471
00:23:44,520 --> 00:23:47,920
The Chinese empire was a
powerhouse of intense creativity

472
00:23:47,920 --> 00:23:50,000
and philosophical thought,

473
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:53,440
captured in historical documents
produced centuries before

474
00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:56,240
the release of unrelated
Belgian techno anthem

475
00:23:56,240 --> 00:23:57,920
Pump Up The Jam.

476
00:23:57,920 --> 00:24:00,920
MUSIC: Pump Up The Jam
by Technotronic featuring Felly

477
00:24:13,720 --> 00:24:15,840
# Pump up the jam, pump it up

478
00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:17,760
# While your feet are stompin'

479
00:24:17,760 --> 00:24:19,200
# And the jam is pumpin'

480
00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:21,560
# Look ahead, the crowd is jumpin'

481
00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:23,320
# Pump it up a little more

482
00:24:23,320 --> 00:24:25,320
# Get the party going on
the dance floor

483
00:24:25,320 --> 00:24:27,360
# See, cos that's
where the party's at

484
00:24:27,360 --> 00:24:29,760
# And you'll find out if you do that

485
00:24:29,760 --> 00:24:32,920
# I don't want a place to stay

486
00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:34,160
# Get your...#

487
00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:37,000
The Greeks had an empire
and the Chinese had an empire,

488
00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:39,320
but when most of us think
of the word "empire",

489
00:24:39,320 --> 00:24:41,880
we think of the big one, Star Wars.

490
00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:43,280
Or Rome.

491
00:24:43,280 --> 00:24:45,760
And this is history
so it's Rome, I'm afraid.

492
00:24:45,760 --> 00:24:47,880
Its empire rose to supremacy

493
00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:50,040
under the leadership
of Julius Caesar,

494
00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:52,320
the most notorious
Roman until Polanski.

495
00:24:53,760 --> 00:24:57,200
One of the reasons we still know
a lot about the Romans today

496
00:24:57,200 --> 00:24:59,440
is Wikipedia,

497
00:24:59,440 --> 00:25:02,480
and the reason Wikipedia
knows a lot about the Romans

498
00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:04,800
is because of what
happened in Pompeii.

499
00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:09,840
Pompeii was so advanced
it had its own volcano,

500
00:25:09,840 --> 00:25:13,000
which is Latin for "Angry Hill."

501
00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:16,320
For years, humans and
the volcano lived in harmony,

502
00:25:16,320 --> 00:25:20,520
until one fateful day they fell
out and the volcano went off,

503
00:25:20,520 --> 00:25:23,800
burying Pompeii beneath
a thick layer of ash.

504
00:25:23,800 --> 00:25:26,880
Everyday life was
frozen in its tracks

505
00:25:26,880 --> 00:25:30,000
as though someone had magically
stopped the hands of time

506
00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:32,760
and then shat dust everywhere.

507
00:25:32,760 --> 00:25:34,280
It was deadly at the time

508
00:25:34,280 --> 00:25:35,800
but, on the bright side,

509
00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:38,080
it gave archaeologists a
treasure trove of information

510
00:25:38,080 --> 00:25:39,760
about how the Romans lived.

511
00:25:39,760 --> 00:25:44,120
Thanks to the volcano, we know
everyday Romans had grey skin,

512
00:25:44,120 --> 00:25:47,600
were totally bald, and
spent their time lying around

513
00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:50,240
inside their shockingly
dusty houses.

514
00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:54,680
But it also preserved glimpses
of how sophisticated Roman life was,

515
00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:58,960
with creature comforts like
indoor plumbing and cunnilingus.

516
00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:02,280
The Roman Empire
was years ahead of its time.

517
00:26:02,280 --> 00:26:04,840
People think the Romans invented
loads of things,

518
00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:09,200
but often they only perfected
things that other people had made.

519
00:26:09,200 --> 00:26:13,360
I'll say some things and you tell
me if the Romans invented them

520
00:26:13,360 --> 00:26:15,320
or just perfected them.

521
00:26:15,320 --> 00:26:17,960
Right? Invented or perfected.
Test me.

522
00:26:17,960 --> 00:26:20,880
Underfloor heating.
Invented.

523
00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:22,320
Ding!

524
00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:24,800
The calendar.
Perfected.

525
00:26:24,800 --> 00:26:26,160
MIMICS WRONG ANSWER BUZZER

526
00:26:26,160 --> 00:26:27,840
You wallied -

527
00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:30,200
that means you can't
answer the next one.

528
00:26:30,200 --> 00:26:31,880
Roads.

529
00:26:31,880 --> 00:26:34,280
No, the roads were
invented by Persians.

530
00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:36,320
Plenty of people knew about roads.

531
00:26:36,320 --> 00:26:38,880
You're wallied, anyway, you can't
answer that one. Oh, right.

532
00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:40,280
Concrete.

533
00:26:40,280 --> 00:26:42,280
Invented.
Ding! Yep.

534
00:26:42,280 --> 00:26:43,640
The alphabet.

535
00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:46,120
Oh, definitely did not invent it,

536
00:26:46,120 --> 00:26:48,080
and probably didn't really
perfect it either.

537
00:26:48,080 --> 00:26:50,160
I mean, that's sort of...
Got to pick one.

538
00:26:50,160 --> 00:26:51,560
Have I?
Yeah.

539
00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:55,720
Um, I mean, perfected is wrong.
Ding!

540
00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:57,640
Anal bleaching.

541
00:26:57,640 --> 00:27:00,080
What?
Anal bleaching.

542
00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:01,840
Anal bleaching...

543
00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:03,120
Um...

544
00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:06,560
I have no idea what
that would have done.

545
00:27:06,560 --> 00:27:07,800
Go on, give it a go.

546
00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:10,440
I don't even know what it is.
It's when they bleach your arse.

547
00:27:10,440 --> 00:27:12,840
Really?
Yeah, lighten it up.

548
00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:14,520
Well, not round my way, they don't.

549
00:27:14,520 --> 00:27:17,560
But anyway, I have no idea
what they did with that. Pass.

550
00:27:17,560 --> 00:27:19,400
Invented or perfected.
You can't pass.

551
00:27:22,520 --> 00:27:24,720
Bleaching?
Yeah.

552
00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:26,480
Bleaching the arsehole.

553
00:27:29,760 --> 00:27:32,200
Um, OK. Well, I'll say they invented
it, but...

554
00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:34,200
MIMICS WRONG ANSWER BUZZER

555
00:27:34,200 --> 00:27:36,480
Just a few 100,000 years ago,

556
00:27:36,480 --> 00:27:39,800
humans had been living
in caves like animals.

557
00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:42,960
Now, following a series
of technological and cultural

558
00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:46,360
breakthroughs, we were
living in cities like people.

559
00:27:46,360 --> 00:27:48,120
Looking around ancient Rome,

560
00:27:48,120 --> 00:27:51,640
our ancestors could have been
forgiven for feeling almost as smug

561
00:27:51,640 --> 00:27:53,560
as James Corden.

562
00:27:53,560 --> 00:27:56,720
But little did the Roman Empire know
it was about to come up against

563
00:27:56,720 --> 00:27:59,000
its biggest challenge -
a man of peace.

564
00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:03,360
Jesus Christ, Almighty.
Street name, "Son of God."

565
00:28:03,360 --> 00:28:08,160
Next time, we look at religion
and how it spread - like memes,

566
00:28:08,160 --> 00:28:10,680
but with a whole lifestyle
and clothing line attached.

567
00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:13,080
And we'll be looking at two
of the most important books

568
00:28:13,080 --> 00:28:15,720
in history, the Bible and the Koran,

569
00:28:15,720 --> 00:28:18,640
and finally answering
the question, which is best?

570
00:28:46,500 --> 00:28:49,540
In the first brilliant instalment

571
00:28:49,540 --> 00:28:51,580
of this soon-to-be
award-winning series,

572
00:28:51,580 --> 00:28:53,180
I showed you - for the first time

573
00:28:53,180 --> 00:28:54,460
and better than anyone else -

574
00:28:54,460 --> 00:28:58,260
how humankind dragged itself
out of caveman times,

575
00:28:58,260 --> 00:29:01,900
invented farming, thinking
and sand triangles,

576
00:29:01,900 --> 00:29:06,100
and eventually founded
the brand-new city of Ancient Rome.

577
00:29:06,100 --> 00:29:08,220
But that wasn't the end of
the story, obviously,

578
00:29:08,220 --> 00:29:10,500
because it was only Episode One.

579
00:29:10,500 --> 00:29:13,700
There was no denying man had come
an incredible distance,

580
00:29:13,700 --> 00:29:15,540
but could he come even further,

581
00:29:15,540 --> 00:29:18,180
or was he spent
and in need of a lie-down?

582
00:29:18,180 --> 00:29:20,700
To reach the next level,

583
00:29:20,700 --> 00:29:23,260
humanoid kind would need
to believe in something

584
00:29:23,260 --> 00:29:25,060
bigger than man himself.

585
00:29:25,060 --> 00:29:27,780
Bigger even than elephant itself.

586
00:29:27,780 --> 00:29:31,780
In this episode, I'll see how
humankind found religion,

587
00:29:31,780 --> 00:29:35,140
and we'll settle an argument
that has raged for centuries.

588
00:29:35,140 --> 00:29:38,180
Which is better,
the Bible or the Korun?

589
00:29:38,180 --> 00:29:39,700
The Koran.

590
00:29:39,700 --> 00:29:41,140
So, that one?

591
00:29:41,140 --> 00:29:43,460
It all happened right here,

592
00:29:43,460 --> 00:29:46,020
on the only planet
still worth fighting for.

593
00:29:46,020 --> 00:29:48,220
This is Cunk on Earth.

594
00:29:50,460 --> 00:29:56,460
This programme contains
some strong language.

595
00:30:03,500 --> 00:30:07,540
The time is half past
Rome o'clock BC.

596
00:30:07,540 --> 00:30:10,180
The Romanite Empire
is at its most biggest.

597
00:30:10,180 --> 00:30:13,020
But despite the fancy
columns and mosaics,

598
00:30:13,020 --> 00:30:16,180
there was an emptiness
at the heart of Roman culture.

599
00:30:16,180 --> 00:30:18,100
Holding endless wine-fuelled orgies

600
00:30:18,100 --> 00:30:21,140
in cramped vomitoriums
is all very well

601
00:30:21,140 --> 00:30:23,580
but, eventually,
you need something more.

602
00:30:23,580 --> 00:30:24,820
And also, a mop.

603
00:30:24,820 --> 00:30:27,700
Humans craved enlighten-ingment.

604
00:30:27,700 --> 00:30:31,500
To find it, they'd need a spiritual
role model, an icon,

605
00:30:31,500 --> 00:30:33,340
an almost Christ-like figure.

606
00:30:33,340 --> 00:30:34,980
And as luck would have it,

607
00:30:34,980 --> 00:30:37,860
someone fitting that bill
was about to arrive.

608
00:30:37,860 --> 00:30:40,860
None other than Mr Jesus Christ.

609
00:30:40,860 --> 00:30:43,700
He was born in a humble stable

610
00:30:43,700 --> 00:30:47,340
which, ironically, isn't
a stable environment for a baby,

611
00:30:47,340 --> 00:30:50,780
unless it's a baby donkey which,
if records are to be believed,

612
00:30:50,780 --> 00:30:53,660
Jesus wasn't. In fact, as this

613
00:30:53,660 --> 00:30:55,500
actual painting makes clear,

614
00:30:55,500 --> 00:30:59,540
when Christ was born, he had a
magic flaming circle on his head,

615
00:30:59,540 --> 00:31:03,060
which would have set fire to all
the hay and pubes as he came out.

616
00:31:03,060 --> 00:31:05,620
Don't worry, I'm doing Islam later.

617
00:31:06,620 --> 00:31:10,540
Jesus was born Jewish,
but soon converted to carpentry,

618
00:31:10,540 --> 00:31:14,980
as he followed his dad into the
primitive chair and table industry.

619
00:31:14,980 --> 00:31:18,220
What's ironic about Jesus Christ
becoming a carpenter

620
00:31:18,220 --> 00:31:21,060
was he was actually named after
the two words you're most likely

621
00:31:21,060 --> 00:31:23,300
to shout after hitting your thumb
with a hammer.

622
00:31:23,300 --> 00:31:26,380
Scholars believe he was
a real historical figure,

623
00:31:26,380 --> 00:31:29,980
like Justin Timberlake or Garfield.

624
00:31:29,980 --> 00:31:31,860
Whether or not they think he was

625
00:31:31,860 --> 00:31:34,460
the actual son of God
who performed miracles,

626
00:31:34,460 --> 00:31:37,500
like walking on wine
or helping a deaf man see...

627
00:31:39,140 --> 00:31:41,820
..they all agree he preached
tolerance and forgiveness -

628
00:31:41,820 --> 00:31:45,500
a message so important, his most
ardent followers would eventually

629
00:31:45,500 --> 00:31:48,060
start killing anyone
who didn't want to hear it.

630
00:31:51,420 --> 00:31:54,220
Little wonder
this radicalised woodsmith

631
00:31:54,220 --> 00:31:56,180
scared the Roman authorities.

632
00:31:56,180 --> 00:31:58,460
They considered Jesus so dangerous,

633
00:31:58,460 --> 00:32:00,340
they had him crucified.

634
00:32:00,340 --> 00:32:03,180
And not just a little,
but all the way,

635
00:32:03,180 --> 00:32:04,740
to death.

636
00:32:04,740 --> 00:32:08,500
Just imagine Christ's
conflicted emotions.

637
00:32:08,500 --> 00:32:12,500
He'd been sent to Earth to save
mankind and, yet, here he was,

638
00:32:12,500 --> 00:32:15,900
enduring the physical agony
of being nailed to a cross,

639
00:32:15,900 --> 00:32:18,540
while also knowing what a
great logo it would make

640
00:32:18,540 --> 00:32:20,620
for his long-term campaign.

641
00:32:20,620 --> 00:32:24,020
Jesus was killed because people
didn't like what he was saying,

642
00:32:24,020 --> 00:32:28,100
so could you call him the first
celebrity victim of cancel culture?

643
00:32:28,100 --> 00:32:34,100
I think cancel culture
would sort of require

644
00:32:34,100 --> 00:32:35,900
the idea that people...

645
00:32:37,140 --> 00:32:40,140
..really saw Jesus
as standing for something,

646
00:32:40,140 --> 00:32:43,540
and they were sure they knew
what it was. Oh, no, sorry.

647
00:32:43,540 --> 00:32:46,060
Yeah? That wasn't a question.
I'm literally asking if

648
00:32:46,060 --> 00:32:49,020
you could call him the first
celebrity victim of cancel culture

649
00:32:49,020 --> 00:32:51,860
for our show. Down that lens, there.

650
00:32:53,020 --> 00:32:56,060
Just, you know,
it's for a credit sequence

651
00:32:56,060 --> 00:32:58,180
with punchy sound bites in it.

652
00:32:58,180 --> 00:32:59,500
Off you go.

653
00:32:59,500 --> 00:33:01,460
Down that lens.

654
00:33:01,460 --> 00:33:03,860
OK, down this lens? Yeah.

655
00:33:03,860 --> 00:33:05,900
You might even say Jesus was

656
00:33:05,900 --> 00:33:09,140
the first celebrity victim of
cancel culture.

657
00:33:09,140 --> 00:33:11,140
Brilliant, thank you.

658
00:33:11,140 --> 00:33:15,420
But incredibly, just when it seemed
the life of Christ was over,

659
00:33:15,420 --> 00:33:19,700
he respawned, danced up a hill and
leapt all the way up into heaven,

660
00:33:19,700 --> 00:33:23,340
breaking all world records for
a standing jump in the process.

661
00:33:23,340 --> 00:33:24,780
During his lifetime,

662
00:33:24,780 --> 00:33:27,220
Jesus only had 12 followers,

663
00:33:27,220 --> 00:33:28,860
fewer even than my Uncle Steve's

664
00:33:28,860 --> 00:33:30,660
uninspiring Instagram account.

665
00:33:30,660 --> 00:33:33,900
But that all changed once his
teachings began to spread,

666
00:33:33,900 --> 00:33:36,140
in the form of the written word.

667
00:33:36,140 --> 00:33:38,380
After he died,
Jesus came back to Earth

668
00:33:38,380 --> 00:33:40,420
in the form of a book, didn't he?

669
00:33:40,420 --> 00:33:43,860
Why do Christians call that
special book The Bib-le?

670
00:33:43,860 --> 00:33:45,740
The Bible.

671
00:33:45,740 --> 00:33:47,500
Is that how it's pronounced?

672
00:33:47,500 --> 00:33:50,340
I've literally never heard anyone
say it before. How do you say it?

673
00:33:50,340 --> 00:33:53,820
Bible. So, why is it spelt Bib-le?

674
00:33:53,820 --> 00:33:58,740
Cos I've seen it written down -
B-I-B-L-E. BIBle. Yeah, Bible.

675
00:33:58,740 --> 00:34:01,060
Christ's message was spread

676
00:34:01,060 --> 00:34:03,140
far and wide by the apostles,

677
00:34:03,140 --> 00:34:04,900
almost 2,000 years before

678
00:34:04,900 --> 00:34:08,220
the release of Belgian techno anthem
Pump Up the Jam.

679
00:34:08,220 --> 00:34:14,820
MUSIC: Pump Up the Jam
by Technotronic

680
00:34:23,380 --> 00:34:25,700
# Pump up the jam, pump it up

681
00:34:25,700 --> 00:34:27,340
# While your feet are stompin'

682
00:34:27,340 --> 00:34:29,140
# And the jam is pumpin'

683
00:34:29,140 --> 00:34:31,020
# Look ahead, the crowd is jumpin'

684
00:34:31,020 --> 00:34:33,180
# Pump it up a little more

685
00:34:33,180 --> 00:34:35,260
# Get the party going
on the dance floor

686
00:34:35,260 --> 00:34:36,900
# See, cos that's where
the party's at

687
00:34:36,900 --> 00:34:39,820
# And you'll find out if you do that

688
00:34:39,820 --> 00:34:43,180
# I don't want a place to stay

689
00:34:43,180 --> 00:34:45,740
# Get your booty on
the floor tonight

690
00:34:45,740 --> 00:34:47,460
# Make my day

691
00:34:47,460 --> 00:34:50,700
# I don't want a place to stay

692
00:34:50,700 --> 00:34:52,900
# Get your booty on the floor... #

693
00:34:52,900 --> 00:34:56,260
But not everyone appreciated
the swinging sound of Christianity.

694
00:34:56,260 --> 00:34:59,420
Especially in Rome,
where Christians were persecuted,

695
00:34:59,420 --> 00:35:00,860
which is Latin for shat on.

696
00:35:00,860 --> 00:35:02,700
And if you were a Christian
back then,

697
00:35:02,700 --> 00:35:05,940
perhaps the worst place to find
yourself was the Colosseum,

698
00:35:05,940 --> 00:35:08,860
an area of misery
on a par with Birmingham.

699
00:35:08,860 --> 00:35:13,260
It was here the Romans first threw
Christians to the lions,

700
00:35:13,260 --> 00:35:16,620
possibly to see if their pacifist
message would rub off on the beasts

701
00:35:16,620 --> 00:35:19,140
and make them less angry and bitey.

702
00:35:19,140 --> 00:35:23,260
If a Christian won, right,
and ate a lion,

703
00:35:23,260 --> 00:35:25,940
would they then go forward
to the next round?

704
00:35:25,940 --> 00:35:28,140
You know, and would they have to eat

705
00:35:28,140 --> 00:35:31,300
something else,
like a whole horse or something?

706
00:35:31,300 --> 00:35:33,340
Do you know, there's not
a lot of evidence

707
00:35:33,340 --> 00:35:35,780
that they threw very many
Christians to the lions.

708
00:35:35,780 --> 00:35:37,820
Just for this, can you pretend that

709
00:35:37,820 --> 00:35:41,900
loads of Christians were thrown
to the lions? Really?

710
00:35:41,900 --> 00:35:45,540
But that's wrong. Do you think the
Christians would forgive the lions

711
00:35:45,540 --> 00:35:48,620
for eating them, while it was
happening? They probably didn't

712
00:35:48,620 --> 00:35:51,260
blame the lions.
I mean, a lion was only doing

713
00:35:51,260 --> 00:35:54,300
what lions naturally do and...
Do we know how the lions felt

714
00:35:54,300 --> 00:35:56,620
about only ever being given
one thing to eat?

715
00:35:56,620 --> 00:35:59,140
It can't have been fun,
can it, you know?

716
00:35:59,140 --> 00:36:02,980
Imagine if every day, your lunch was
just screaming and wouldn't stop.

717
00:36:02,980 --> 00:36:05,340
That's going to have an impact on
your mental health.

718
00:36:05,340 --> 00:36:08,860
The mental health of lions?
Yeah. Mm.

719
00:36:08,860 --> 00:36:09,980
HE SNIFFS

720
00:36:09,980 --> 00:36:12,460
Incredibly, within
a few hundred years,

721
00:36:12,460 --> 00:36:14,780
the Romans had become
Christians themselves.

722
00:36:14,780 --> 00:36:16,100
But why?

723
00:36:16,100 --> 00:36:18,180
Tragically, none of
the people involved

724
00:36:18,180 --> 00:36:20,260
in Ancient Rome
are still alive today.

725
00:36:20,260 --> 00:36:22,100
So, to find out why that happened,

726
00:36:22,100 --> 00:36:23,980
we have to sift through
ancient texts,

727
00:36:23,980 --> 00:36:26,580
like you do at the end of
a relationship.

728
00:36:26,580 --> 00:36:29,500
Thanks to the modern science
of reading, we now know

729
00:36:29,500 --> 00:36:32,860
the Roman Emperor Constantine -
whose name means constant,

730
00:36:32,860 --> 00:36:35,660
or unchanging - one day unexpectedly

731
00:36:35,660 --> 00:36:37,540
changed to Christianity.

732
00:36:39,780 --> 00:36:42,820
Soon, all the Romans had converted
to Christianity.

733
00:36:42,820 --> 00:36:44,140
And shortly after that,

734
00:36:44,140 --> 00:36:46,660
they stopped throwing Christians
to the lions altogether.

735
00:36:46,660 --> 00:36:48,300
No-one knows why.

736
00:36:50,500 --> 00:36:53,780
The Romans had found God
almost overnight.

737
00:36:53,780 --> 00:36:58,740
What is it about religion that can
win us over so unexpectedly?

738
00:36:58,740 --> 00:37:02,380
Why do humans need to believe in
something bigger than ourselves?

739
00:37:02,380 --> 00:37:06,180
Is it so we don't feel quite so fat?

740
00:37:06,180 --> 00:37:12,260
Well, I think the sense of purpose

741
00:37:12,260 --> 00:37:18,580
and value constitutes a very
important element of a happy life.

742
00:37:18,580 --> 00:37:22,020
But it must help, if you think
how big the world is,

743
00:37:22,020 --> 00:37:24,260
suddenly, you feel a lot slimmer.

744
00:37:24,260 --> 00:37:26,300
Quite possibly.

745
00:37:26,300 --> 00:37:29,740
Some people have a sudden
religious conversion, don't they?

746
00:37:29,740 --> 00:37:31,980
My mate Paul was driving
to Winchester

747
00:37:31,980 --> 00:37:34,780
when a lorry jack-knifed
in front of him,

748
00:37:34,780 --> 00:37:38,700
and he was hurtling towards it
and everything went slow-mo.

749
00:37:38,700 --> 00:37:42,540
And Paul, who's never been
religious, spoke to Jesus and said,

750
00:37:42,540 --> 00:37:45,780
"I promise if I survive this,
I'll believe in you."

751
00:37:45,780 --> 00:37:50,460
And he did survive, but he fractured
his skull and broke both his legs.

752
00:37:50,460 --> 00:37:52,620
Why did Jesus do that to him?

753
00:37:52,620 --> 00:37:56,260
Well, you've raised
a very significant question

754
00:37:56,260 --> 00:37:58,300
about the nature of providence.

755
00:37:58,300 --> 00:38:00,060
Have I? You have, indeed.

756
00:38:00,060 --> 00:38:04,180
If we believe in a good God,

757
00:38:04,180 --> 00:38:07,740
why is there so much evil
in the world?

758
00:38:07,740 --> 00:38:10,380
Now, your friend... Paul.

759
00:38:10,380 --> 00:38:13,180
..Paul, his accident,

760
00:38:13,180 --> 00:38:17,460
you know, to what extent
can one blame God for that?

761
00:38:17,460 --> 00:38:19,940
See, Paul never forgave him.

762
00:38:19,940 --> 00:38:22,340
He said, "If I ever see Christ
again, he's a dead man."

763
00:38:25,380 --> 00:38:26,860
Right.

764
00:38:26,860 --> 00:38:28,940
Rome had become a beacon

765
00:38:28,940 --> 00:38:31,220
of Christian faith, but disaster

766
00:38:31,220 --> 00:38:33,140
was just around the corner

767
00:38:33,140 --> 00:38:36,300
because the Romans had converted
to a religion of peace,

768
00:38:36,300 --> 00:38:38,620
just in time to have their arse
handed to them

769
00:38:38,620 --> 00:38:41,980
by some people who mainly believed
in hammers and smashing.

770
00:38:41,980 --> 00:38:43,540
They were the Vandals,

771
00:38:43,540 --> 00:38:47,140
an ancient group notorious for their
appetite for destruction,

772
00:38:47,140 --> 00:38:48,580
like Guns N' Roses.

773
00:38:50,300 --> 00:38:51,860
HORN BEEPS

774
00:38:53,380 --> 00:38:56,980
Right now, I'm standing on -
and also in - modern Rome

775
00:38:56,980 --> 00:38:59,140
which, by an incredible coincidence,

776
00:38:59,140 --> 00:39:01,580
is on the same site
as the ancient one.

777
00:39:01,580 --> 00:39:04,420
And it's here the Vandals'
terrifying assault

778
00:39:04,420 --> 00:39:06,220
on the city took place.

779
00:39:06,220 --> 00:39:09,700
The Vandal hordes would have
swept through there,

780
00:39:09,700 --> 00:39:11,980
past the coffee shop
with the rude staff,

781
00:39:11,980 --> 00:39:16,180
all the way down here, killing,
looting and burning as they went.

782
00:39:16,180 --> 00:39:18,220
We also know that
traffic intersection

783
00:39:18,220 --> 00:39:20,020
wouldn't have been
there at that time,

784
00:39:20,020 --> 00:39:21,860
so they could have safely ignored

785
00:39:21,860 --> 00:39:24,700
any associated road signals
during their invasion.

786
00:39:24,700 --> 00:39:27,780
Also, that pizza place
wouldn't have been open

787
00:39:27,780 --> 00:39:30,020
because they think the rampage
happened on a Sunday.

788
00:39:30,020 --> 00:39:33,020
And according to TripAdvisor,
it closes over the weekend

789
00:39:33,020 --> 00:39:35,460
and isn't suitable for
large groups, anyway.

790
00:39:35,460 --> 00:39:37,900
But everything else
you see around here

791
00:39:37,900 --> 00:39:39,940
would have been
completely destroyed.

792
00:39:41,780 --> 00:39:44,940
By the time the Vandals rolled out
of this part of the city

793
00:39:44,940 --> 00:39:47,940
and into the next one, they'd
left nothing but destruction

794
00:39:47,940 --> 00:39:49,660
and horseshit in their wake.

795
00:39:49,660 --> 00:39:52,740
Rome had been sacked, destroyed,

796
00:39:52,740 --> 00:39:54,980
properly fucked to bits.

797
00:39:54,980 --> 00:39:59,660
And once Rome fell, the entire
Roman Empire went kaput.

798
00:39:59,660 --> 00:40:03,540
The grim period that followed
became known as the Dark-ages.

799
00:40:05,700 --> 00:40:07,340
Ow, shit!

800
00:40:07,340 --> 00:40:10,820
Dark-ages sort of sounds like
a symptom, doesn't it?

801
00:40:10,820 --> 00:40:13,020
You know, maybe like a plague thing.

802
00:40:13,020 --> 00:40:15,100
Do you mean the Dark Ages?

803
00:40:15,100 --> 00:40:16,700
Oh, right. Is that what it is?

804
00:40:16,700 --> 00:40:19,980
If you...if you mean
an old-fashioned term

805
00:40:19,980 --> 00:40:22,420
for the early Middle Ages. Right.

806
00:40:22,420 --> 00:40:25,620
Except we don't really use that term
any more. Oh, do we not?

807
00:40:25,620 --> 00:40:29,660
Well, it has very negative
connotations of being a dark

808
00:40:29,660 --> 00:40:32,740
and ignorant and benighted time
and, um... Which it was.

809
00:40:32,740 --> 00:40:34,260
Not really.

810
00:40:34,260 --> 00:40:36,540
It had fantastic thinkers
and historians

811
00:40:36,540 --> 00:40:39,260
and artists and authors.
But it was a bit...

812
00:40:39,260 --> 00:40:40,900
SHE WHISPERS: ..shit.

813
00:40:40,900 --> 00:40:43,900
The Dark Ages was a depressing era,

814
00:40:43,900 --> 00:40:46,860
during which the whole of Europe
fumbled about in the dark,

815
00:40:46,860 --> 00:40:50,580
banging its shins on stuff and
getting all diseases up its bum.

816
00:40:50,580 --> 00:40:53,500
It must have properly
done people's heads in.

817
00:40:53,500 --> 00:40:57,580
Whenever you see medieval times,
there's this sort of annoying,

818
00:40:57,580 --> 00:41:00,420
Heigh-nonny-no music
playing constantly.

819
00:41:00,420 --> 00:41:02,620
Yeah, pretty much.
You know that...that music?

820
00:41:02,620 --> 00:41:04,460
You know, that sort of...

821
00:41:04,460 --> 00:41:08,700
SHE MIMICS A TRUMPET

822
00:41:08,700 --> 00:41:10,060
Yeah.

823
00:41:10,060 --> 00:41:14,780
SHE CONTINUES IMITATING TRUMPET

824
00:41:19,660 --> 00:41:22,140
Yep. Yeah, there's a lot of that.

825
00:41:22,140 --> 00:41:23,740
Where's that sound coming from?

826
00:41:23,740 --> 00:41:25,180
Couldn't they switch it off?

827
00:41:25,180 --> 00:41:27,900
The Dark Ages were a tragedy
for human progress

828
00:41:27,900 --> 00:41:30,460
that put back the roll-out of 5G

829
00:41:30,460 --> 00:41:32,460
by hundreds of years.

830
00:41:32,460 --> 00:41:37,340
So, we've had the Dark Ages.
Has there been a Light Ages?

831
00:41:37,340 --> 00:41:42,860
Well, the claim was made by people
in the early modern period,

832
00:41:42,860 --> 00:41:46,500
the so-called Renaissance,
that theirs was the age of light.

833
00:41:46,500 --> 00:41:49,060
And then, of course, we
have a whole era later

834
00:41:49,060 --> 00:41:51,580
that people called
the Enlightenment.

835
00:41:51,580 --> 00:41:54,820
Is that in this episode,
or will that come up later?

836
00:41:54,820 --> 00:41:57,260
Well, I'm guessing
it will come up later.

837
00:41:57,260 --> 00:42:00,940
Which episode are we in now?
Erm... I...

838
00:42:00,940 --> 00:42:03,100
Probably something about
the Middle Ages.

839
00:42:03,100 --> 00:42:08,220
Yeah, but is it, like,
Episode Three or Episode Four?

840
00:42:08,220 --> 00:42:12,500
I'm afraid I'm not sure. We're
both just lost here, aren't we?

841
00:42:12,500 --> 00:42:14,260
This is fucking awful.

842
00:42:15,820 --> 00:42:19,940
But luckily, Europe wasn't the only
country having a history back then.

843
00:42:19,940 --> 00:42:23,460
Boffins now believe other countries
such as South America and Asia

844
00:42:23,460 --> 00:42:25,660
were having their own histories too,

845
00:42:25,660 --> 00:42:29,020
and they were keeping civilisation
going in their own funny, exotic,

846
00:42:29,020 --> 00:42:30,420
foreign little ways.

847
00:42:30,420 --> 00:42:33,500
This is the city of Chichen Itza,

848
00:42:33,500 --> 00:42:36,460
built by the Mayan people
in what is now Mexico.

849
00:42:36,460 --> 00:42:37,900
And this is its centrepiece,

850
00:42:37,900 --> 00:42:39,900
the Temple of Kukulkan.

851
00:42:39,900 --> 00:42:41,940
If you were brought here
1,000 years ago,

852
00:42:41,940 --> 00:42:44,180
chances are you were
about to be sacrificed

853
00:42:44,180 --> 00:42:47,140
to appease Chaac, the Mayan god
of rain. Today, you're perhaps

854
00:42:47,140 --> 00:42:50,140
more likely to be dropping by
as part of a pleasant day trip out

855
00:42:50,140 --> 00:42:52,900
from the nearby holiday resort
of Tulum.

856
00:42:52,900 --> 00:42:54,980
That's where I'm staying,

857
00:42:54,980 --> 00:42:58,260
at the five-star
Casa de Lujo Hotel and Spa.

858
00:42:58,260 --> 00:43:00,460
This all-inclusive resort,

859
00:43:00,460 --> 00:43:03,660
nestling on the picture-perfect
Tulum coastline, really is

860
00:43:03,660 --> 00:43:04,980
the last word in luxury.

861
00:43:04,980 --> 00:43:08,660
All the rooms are en-suite,
and with this stunning ocean view,

862
00:43:08,660 --> 00:43:11,220
it's hard to think of a reason
to get out of bed.

863
00:43:11,220 --> 00:43:13,180
Apart, of course, from the beautiful

864
00:43:13,180 --> 00:43:14,460
beach and constant sunshine

865
00:43:14,460 --> 00:43:16,540
right here on your doorstep.

866
00:43:16,540 --> 00:43:18,940
If the sunny skies get too much,

867
00:43:18,940 --> 00:43:20,940
there are three pools
to cool off in,

868
00:43:20,940 --> 00:43:22,900
including one for adults only.

869
00:43:22,900 --> 00:43:25,020
There's plenty for
the little ones too,

870
00:43:25,020 --> 00:43:26,980
with the Turtle Club giving them

871
00:43:26,980 --> 00:43:30,340
the holiday of their allegedly
important little lives so far.

872
00:43:30,340 --> 00:43:32,980
And with five on-site restaurants
to choose from,

873
00:43:32,980 --> 00:43:35,180
you'll never get bored of the food.

874
00:43:35,180 --> 00:43:38,460
If all that wasn't enough,
the stunning Inspiration Spa

875
00:43:38,460 --> 00:43:41,060
offers world-class wellness options,

876
00:43:41,060 --> 00:43:44,540
from toenail filing
to vigorous rubbing.

877
00:43:44,540 --> 00:43:46,900
And when the sun goes down,
the nightlife begins.

878
00:43:46,900 --> 00:43:50,420
With local spirits, wines and beers
all included,

879
00:43:50,420 --> 00:43:52,820
there's no reason to hold back.

880
00:43:52,820 --> 00:43:54,260
With sunshine all day

881
00:43:54,260 --> 00:43:55,980
and partying all night,

882
00:43:55,980 --> 00:43:57,740
you won't want to go home.

883
00:43:57,740 --> 00:44:00,620
Philomena stayed five nights at
the Casa de Lujo Hotel and Spa.

884
00:44:00,620 --> 00:44:03,180
All-inclusive prices start at
£200 per person per night,

885
00:44:03,180 --> 00:44:05,420
based on two sharing,
VAT not included.

886
00:44:05,420 --> 00:44:07,060
Terms and conditions apply.

887
00:44:12,580 --> 00:44:15,020
While the Mayans worshipped
their gods,

888
00:44:15,020 --> 00:44:17,420
thousands of miles away in Arabia,

889
00:44:17,420 --> 00:44:22,700
a prophet named Muhammad was
founding another religion, Islam.

890
00:44:22,700 --> 00:44:25,980
Apparently, Islam can
be a sensitive topic,

891
00:44:25,980 --> 00:44:29,180
and the producers say if I don't
follow this script to the letter,

892
00:44:29,180 --> 00:44:32,700
there's a chance I'll cause
a serious international incident.

893
00:44:39,140 --> 00:44:41,580
That's quite a blow, to be honest.

894
00:44:41,580 --> 00:44:43,740
It's all right, I'll busk it.

895
00:44:43,740 --> 00:44:48,460
So, what can we say about Islam?
Well, for one thing...

896
00:45:02,940 --> 00:45:06,540
I, for one, don't think any of that
is controversial at all.

897
00:45:06,540 --> 00:45:08,820
Islam represented a radical break

898
00:45:08,820 --> 00:45:10,700
from previous religions

899
00:45:10,700 --> 00:45:12,660
because the buildings
it happened inside

900
00:45:12,660 --> 00:45:14,300
were a slightly different shape.

901
00:45:15,820 --> 00:45:17,940
It expanded across the globe

902
00:45:17,940 --> 00:45:19,860
almost as quickly as Fox News

903
00:45:19,860 --> 00:45:22,180
thinks it still does today.

904
00:45:22,180 --> 00:45:25,660
It was an apparently irresistible
spread, like Nutella.

905
00:45:27,460 --> 00:45:30,140
TALKS WITH MOUTH FULL:
The Koran said, accumulating

906
00:45:30,140 --> 00:45:34,100
knowledge is a worthy act.
So, Islamic mega-nerds created

907
00:45:34,100 --> 00:45:36,780
the first universities
and libraries,

908
00:45:36,780 --> 00:45:40,140
containing all the world's knowledge

909
00:45:40,140 --> 00:45:42,140
which, at that point, could probably

910
00:45:42,140 --> 00:45:44,100
fit into one pamphlet, to be fair.

911
00:45:50,660 --> 00:45:51,860
Mm.

912
00:45:55,740 --> 00:45:59,180
Because they needed more knowledge
to fill their libraries,

913
00:45:59,180 --> 00:46:03,620
Muslim boffins got into maths,
calculus, geometry

914
00:46:03,620 --> 00:46:07,740
and, of course, the most
Islamic sounding one - al-gebra.

915
00:46:07,740 --> 00:46:11,780
Not to be outdone, Christianity
was also expanding,

916
00:46:11,780 --> 00:46:13,780
thanks to missionaries.

917
00:46:13,780 --> 00:46:16,660
The missionaries were known for
their position,

918
00:46:16,660 --> 00:46:19,380
which was that the big man,
God, was on top

919
00:46:19,380 --> 00:46:23,140
and the rest of us had to lie back
and take it.

920
00:46:23,140 --> 00:46:25,380
Sent by the Pope, missionaries

921
00:46:25,380 --> 00:46:27,420
took the Bible and the cross

922
00:46:27,420 --> 00:46:29,020
and set out from here,

923
00:46:29,020 --> 00:46:31,220
painstakingly making their way

924
00:46:31,220 --> 00:46:32,700
right across the map,

925
00:46:32,700 --> 00:46:34,540
and eventually ending up

926
00:46:34,540 --> 00:46:36,980
all the way over here, in Ireland,

927
00:46:36,980 --> 00:46:40,180
where they spread the word
by reading aloud from the...

928
00:46:41,260 --> 00:46:42,660
Hold on, I forgot the book.

929
00:46:44,140 --> 00:46:47,140
Travel in those days
was exceptionally perilous

930
00:46:47,140 --> 00:46:50,060
and gruelling, so the early
missionaries wouldn't have wanted

931
00:46:50,060 --> 00:46:52,740
to undertake their journey twice,
any more than I do.

932
00:46:53,980 --> 00:46:56,140
But once they arrived
at their destination,

933
00:46:56,140 --> 00:47:00,740
what they brought would change the
world forever. The Bible and the...

934
00:47:02,380 --> 00:47:04,300
Who moved the cross?

935
00:47:04,300 --> 00:47:07,100
Christianity was the fidget spinner
of medieval times,

936
00:47:07,100 --> 00:47:09,860
a huge craze that would
last forever.

937
00:47:09,860 --> 00:47:12,940
It led to a boom in
religious iconography.

938
00:47:12,940 --> 00:47:15,380
Images of Jesus were
everywhere you looked.

939
00:47:16,820 --> 00:47:20,020
In medieval times, there were
lots of paintings of Jesus.

940
00:47:20,020 --> 00:47:22,540
How did he find the time
to pose for the artists?

941
00:47:22,540 --> 00:47:24,860
What was his availability like?

942
00:47:24,860 --> 00:47:28,780
Well, he was everywhere,
always... Mm.

943
00:47:28,780 --> 00:47:31,420
..figuratively speaking.

944
00:47:31,420 --> 00:47:34,460
So, they're painting him
from memory,

945
00:47:34,460 --> 00:47:38,140
like someone describing an intruder
to a police sketch artist,

946
00:47:38,140 --> 00:47:41,380
but an intruder who's
the son of God?

947
00:47:41,380 --> 00:47:45,140
In all paintings of Jesus, he comes
in two modes, doesn't he?

948
00:47:45,140 --> 00:47:49,420
He's either a baby
or he's being crucified.

949
00:47:49,420 --> 00:47:52,940
Are there any paintings where
he is being crucified as a baby?

950
00:47:54,380 --> 00:47:58,820
No. No. Right, they missed an
opportunity there, didn't they,

951
00:47:58,820 --> 00:48:00,580
to play the sympathy card?

952
00:48:00,580 --> 00:48:03,620
Did Jesus ever paint himself?

953
00:48:03,620 --> 00:48:05,740
Uh... It...

954
00:48:05,740 --> 00:48:09,220
I don't believe so. Certainly,
there's no record of that happening.

955
00:48:09,220 --> 00:48:12,260
Well, can we be sure? You know,
he might not have signed it.

956
00:48:12,260 --> 00:48:16,900
He was quite modest, wasn't he?
Well, he was modest in parts.

957
00:48:16,900 --> 00:48:19,420
He did also say he was
the son of God.

958
00:48:19,420 --> 00:48:23,660
Yeah, he could have kept that quiet.
Then he wouldn't have been killed.

959
00:48:23,660 --> 00:48:26,060
Yeah! What an idiot.

960
00:48:26,060 --> 00:48:29,820
Of course, Jesus wasn't the only
deity to inspire art.

961
00:48:29,820 --> 00:48:32,140
There are lots of paintings of
Muhammad, too,

962
00:48:32,140 --> 00:48:35,180
but our producer had to sign a form
promising not to show them.

963
00:48:35,180 --> 00:48:37,060
By the 11th century,

964
00:48:37,060 --> 00:48:40,180
most European countries had
converted to Christianity,

965
00:48:40,180 --> 00:48:43,780
but it didn't stop them constantly
going to war with each other.

966
00:48:43,780 --> 00:48:48,380
Then, in 1095, Pope Urban Two
persuaded them to stop fighting,

967
00:48:48,380 --> 00:48:52,780
come together in harmony and
attack the Muslims instead.

968
00:48:52,780 --> 00:48:54,580
The European Kings agreed

969
00:48:54,580 --> 00:48:56,940
and launched a sort of
armed charity drive

970
00:48:56,940 --> 00:48:59,980
to forcibly provide
the Islamic world with crucifixes.

971
00:48:59,980 --> 00:49:02,220
They called it Crus-Aid.

972
00:49:02,220 --> 00:49:05,460
Soon, armies from Europe
headed east,

973
00:49:05,460 --> 00:49:07,580
hoping to dish out a righteous

974
00:49:07,580 --> 00:49:09,300
international kicking.

975
00:49:09,300 --> 00:49:11,540
So, during the Crusades,

976
00:49:11,540 --> 00:49:14,700
the Crusaders went all the way
to Jerusalem in armour.

977
00:49:14,700 --> 00:49:16,420
That sounds really uncomfortable.

978
00:49:16,420 --> 00:49:19,300
Was it sponsored?

979
00:49:19,300 --> 00:49:23,140
It was sponsored by the church,
you could say... Yeah.

980
00:49:23,140 --> 00:49:26,220
..because these expeditions
had to be funded. Yeah.

981
00:49:26,220 --> 00:49:30,060
My mate Paul did a 30-mile
sponsored walk to Harrogate,

982
00:49:30,060 --> 00:49:32,660
dressed as Spider-Man
for Help For Heroes.

983
00:49:32,660 --> 00:49:37,260
And on the day, he had terrible
diarrhoea, but he soldiered on.

984
00:49:37,260 --> 00:49:40,140
And it was one of the most noble,

985
00:49:40,140 --> 00:49:42,420
but disgusting things
I've ever seen.

986
00:49:42,420 --> 00:49:47,300
Eventually, the organisers had
to intervene, but he raised £368.

987
00:49:47,300 --> 00:49:50,500
You know, the Crusaders
never did that, did they?

988
00:49:50,500 --> 00:49:52,580
No.

989
00:49:52,580 --> 00:49:55,100
In 1099, the Christians captured

990
00:49:55,100 --> 00:49:57,220
Jerusalem. But then, they made

991
00:49:57,220 --> 00:49:58,700
a tactical mistake -

992
00:49:58,700 --> 00:50:00,540
they went home without it.

993
00:50:00,540 --> 00:50:02,740
So, the Muslims, under their leader,

994
00:50:02,740 --> 00:50:04,580
Saladin, crusaded right back,

995
00:50:04,580 --> 00:50:07,620
retaking Jerusalem in the process.

996
00:50:07,620 --> 00:50:11,260
By now, everyone was really into
the Crusades,

997
00:50:11,260 --> 00:50:13,340
so they started
holding them regularly,

998
00:50:13,340 --> 00:50:17,780
fighting back and forth to see which
side would win Jerusalem this year.

999
00:50:17,780 --> 00:50:20,340
The Crusades sound very violent.

1000
00:50:20,340 --> 00:50:23,460
Why can't the religions all learn
to live together in peace,

1001
00:50:23,460 --> 00:50:24,700
like they do in Ireland?

1002
00:50:24,700 --> 00:50:28,340
I think if you find someone who
knows the answer to that question,

1003
00:50:28,340 --> 00:50:32,540
then you should definitely
publicise it as soon as possible.

1004
00:50:32,540 --> 00:50:34,460
Right, yeah, OK.

1005
00:50:34,460 --> 00:50:37,660
But while Christians and Muslims
came to blows,

1006
00:50:37,660 --> 00:50:40,100
one man miles away
decided he'd show them what

1007
00:50:40,100 --> 00:50:42,540
proper warmongering looked like.

1008
00:50:42,540 --> 00:50:46,700
That man was the leader of
the Mongols, Genghis Khan.

1009
00:50:46,700 --> 00:50:52,220
In Mongol, Khan means king, and
Genghis means...something else.

1010
00:50:52,220 --> 00:50:55,940
These days, Genghis Khan
comes up in conversation

1011
00:50:55,940 --> 00:50:58,180
less often than Dennis Quaid,

1012
00:50:58,180 --> 00:51:00,620
but back then, he was the
most feared man on Earth.

1013
00:51:02,740 --> 00:51:05,300
Genghis and his Mongols
went mongoling free

1014
00:51:05,300 --> 00:51:07,620
across much of Europe and Asia.

1015
00:51:07,620 --> 00:51:10,580
Millions of thousands of people
were mercilessly slaughtered.

1016
00:51:11,900 --> 00:51:13,820
Many of them got their heads
chopped off.

1017
00:51:13,820 --> 00:51:16,980
Others had their legs hacked off
first, then an arm or something,

1018
00:51:16,980 --> 00:51:19,700
and then maybe their face,
which was probably still screaming

1019
00:51:19,700 --> 00:51:22,220
as it flew across the hut,
or wherever they lived.

1020
00:51:22,220 --> 00:51:25,380
Then the invaders might have taken
the carcasses and hacked them up

1021
00:51:25,380 --> 00:51:29,060
and boiled them into soup and carved
all the discarded pelvis bones

1022
00:51:29,060 --> 00:51:31,060
into big ladles to drink it with,

1023
00:51:31,060 --> 00:51:33,740
and then sat around the fireplace
slurping their gory soup

1024
00:51:33,740 --> 00:51:35,780
and laughing and blowing off.

1025
00:51:35,780 --> 00:51:38,020
Honestly, it was seriously
out of order.

1026
00:51:38,020 --> 00:51:40,900
How much blood, in terms of pints...

1027
00:51:42,100 --> 00:51:45,980
..was spilt because of Genghis Khan?

1028
00:51:45,980 --> 00:51:48,780
Well, you'd have to somehow know

1029
00:51:48,780 --> 00:51:50,260
the number of people killed.

1030
00:51:50,260 --> 00:51:56,300
Right. There were stories of
a few hundred Mongol soldiers

1031
00:51:56,300 --> 00:51:59,660
dispatching perhaps
up to a million people.

1032
00:51:59,660 --> 00:52:01,780
How many pints are in a person?

1033
00:52:01,780 --> 00:52:05,820
I think eight. So, minimum,
eight million pints? Yes.

1034
00:52:05,820 --> 00:52:08,700
And, of course, they didn't have
blood banks back then, did they?

1035
00:52:08,700 --> 00:52:10,260
What a waste!

1036
00:52:12,140 --> 00:52:14,100
With all that going on
on their doorstep,

1037
00:52:14,100 --> 00:52:18,380
is it any wonder people in Europe
took to building fortified homes?

1038
00:52:18,380 --> 00:52:20,260
The answer is no.

1039
00:52:23,740 --> 00:52:26,940
Standing here now
in...whatever castle this is,

1040
00:52:26,940 --> 00:52:30,980
I can't help but wonder what life
must've been like in medieval times,

1041
00:52:30,980 --> 00:52:33,260
because medieval times
aren't happening any more,

1042
00:52:33,260 --> 00:52:35,980
so wondering is my only option.

1043
00:52:35,980 --> 00:52:37,380
But just imagine it.

1044
00:52:37,380 --> 00:52:41,500
Here, in the central atrium,
the tables laid out for a feast.

1045
00:52:41,500 --> 00:52:44,780
People are bashing tankards
together and laughing.

1046
00:52:44,780 --> 00:52:49,940
The table is bedecked with haunches
of venison, blackbird pie,

1047
00:52:49,940 --> 00:52:52,540
roast goose inside a pig.

1048
00:52:52,540 --> 00:52:54,100
The full works.

1049
00:52:54,100 --> 00:52:57,500
A little bowl of plums there.
I think that's a side dish.

1050
00:52:57,500 --> 00:53:01,700
Over here, peasants are
toing and froing in their finery.

1051
00:53:01,700 --> 00:53:05,260
Oh, a knight...clanking by
in his armour.

1052
00:53:05,260 --> 00:53:08,860
In this corner, someone's playing
medieval flute music.

1053
00:53:08,860 --> 00:53:10,260
FLUTE PLAYS

1054
00:53:10,260 --> 00:53:12,460
And in front of that, a jester,

1055
00:53:12,460 --> 00:53:14,900
jumping up and down
in his little bells.

1056
00:53:14,900 --> 00:53:16,460
BELLS JINGLE
LAUGHTER

1057
00:53:16,460 --> 00:53:18,740
There's a big sort of
ogre thing watching...

1058
00:53:18,740 --> 00:53:19,900
GROWLING

1059
00:53:19,900 --> 00:53:21,940
..enjoying the sight of that.

1060
00:53:21,940 --> 00:53:24,860
Then, up at this end, the King's
sitting on his throne

1061
00:53:24,860 --> 00:53:27,500
next to the Queen,
a bishop and a rook.

1062
00:53:27,500 --> 00:53:30,020
They're watching Merlin
getting his head chopped off,

1063
00:53:30,020 --> 00:53:31,860
which rolls all the way across

1064
00:53:31,860 --> 00:53:34,460
the floor...to there,

1065
00:53:34,460 --> 00:53:36,580
where some wild boar gobble it up.

1066
00:53:36,580 --> 00:53:37,860
BOARS GRUNT

1067
00:53:37,860 --> 00:53:41,300
Ugh! Ugh, that is disgusting!

1068
00:53:41,300 --> 00:53:43,460
You're lucky you can't see that.

1069
00:53:43,460 --> 00:53:46,220
Suddenly, the gaiety's interrupted

1070
00:53:46,220 --> 00:53:50,420
when the glass in a window shatters
and an arrow flies into the room.

1071
00:53:50,420 --> 00:53:54,780
It thuds into this wall, right in
the middle of the Bayeux Tapestry.

1072
00:53:54,780 --> 00:53:57,420
Gasps ring out
and give way to whispers,

1073
00:53:57,420 --> 00:54:01,780
as Thomas A Becket - that's me -
pulls the arrow from the wall.

1074
00:54:02,980 --> 00:54:04,860
SHE GROANS

1075
00:54:04,860 --> 00:54:06,700
Hold on.

1076
00:54:06,700 --> 00:54:07,900
Oh, Christ.

1077
00:54:10,180 --> 00:54:12,780
The arrow has a message on it.

1078
00:54:12,780 --> 00:54:16,460
Thomas carefully takes the message
off, discards the arrow...

1079
00:54:16,460 --> 00:54:18,420
Oh, fuck! Sorry.

1080
00:54:18,420 --> 00:54:21,300
..unfurls the message
and reads it aloud.

1081
00:54:25,620 --> 00:54:27,620
It's from Robin Hood...
GASPING

1082
00:54:27,620 --> 00:54:30,460
..threatening revenge on
the entire Round Table

1083
00:54:30,460 --> 00:54:32,460
for what he did to Gandalf.

1084
00:54:32,460 --> 00:54:35,540
Another gasp, the jester faints,

1085
00:54:35,540 --> 00:54:39,980
worried murmurs fill the air and
get louder and turn to screams.

1086
00:54:39,980 --> 00:54:41,860
SCREAMING
It's chaos.

1087
00:54:41,860 --> 00:54:43,740
The flute goes mental.

1088
00:54:43,740 --> 00:54:46,780
A dancing bear howls in anguish.
BEAR HOWLS

1089
00:54:46,780 --> 00:54:49,540
Someone starts loading pigs
into a catapult.

1090
00:54:49,540 --> 00:54:50,980
PIGS SQUEAL

1091
00:54:50,980 --> 00:54:53,820
A Space Invader
floats across the room,

1092
00:54:53,820 --> 00:54:57,100
shitting a harpsichord made of
glass horses onto the floor.

1093
00:54:57,100 --> 00:54:58,780
HORSE NEIGHS
GLASS SHATTERS

1094
00:54:58,780 --> 00:55:01,340
Finally, up at this end,

1095
00:55:01,340 --> 00:55:03,860
the King stands up,
bashing his gavel.

1096
00:55:03,860 --> 00:55:06,620
BANGING
He shouts, "Order, order!"

1097
00:55:06,620 --> 00:55:10,260
But in a deep man's voice,
with a medieval accent.

1098
00:55:10,260 --> 00:55:12,860
The castle falls silent.

1099
00:55:12,860 --> 00:55:14,740
You can hear a pin drop...

1100
00:55:14,740 --> 00:55:16,780
PIN DROPS
..but not literally.

1101
00:55:16,780 --> 00:55:20,020
"Off with his head!"
shouts the King.

1102
00:55:20,020 --> 00:55:21,540
And that breaks the ice.

1103
00:55:21,540 --> 00:55:23,460
Everything's OK again.

1104
00:55:23,460 --> 00:55:26,460
The jester's back up on his feet,
the music's up and running.

1105
00:55:26,460 --> 00:55:27,740
MEDIEVAL MUSIC PLAYS

1106
00:55:27,740 --> 00:55:30,380
Everyone's merrily
knocking back the mead.

1107
00:55:30,380 --> 00:55:33,020
Life in the castle
is back to normal.

1108
00:55:33,020 --> 00:55:35,740
Just in time for everyone to
suddenly drop dead from plague.

1109
00:55:35,740 --> 00:55:37,300
COUGHING
BODIES THUD

1110
00:55:37,300 --> 00:55:41,380
Anyway, that's what life was like
in my castle.

1111
00:55:41,380 --> 00:55:43,380
Have you ever really thought
about yours?

1112
00:55:45,700 --> 00:55:47,580
But humans couldn't simply

1113
00:55:47,580 --> 00:55:49,780
cower behind thick walls while

1114
00:55:49,780 --> 00:55:52,540
holy wars waged outside forever.

1115
00:55:52,540 --> 00:55:55,580
Religion was supposed to
unite humankind

1116
00:55:55,580 --> 00:55:58,140
in harmony and bland smiling,

1117
00:55:58,140 --> 00:56:00,460
but it had mainly succeeded in
tearing it apart,

1118
00:56:00,460 --> 00:56:02,780
like a bear in a maternity ward.

1119
00:56:02,780 --> 00:56:05,180
But little did this church,
and others like it,

1120
00:56:05,180 --> 00:56:09,220
know that a challenger
was just around the corner.

1121
00:56:09,220 --> 00:56:11,860
Next time, we'll see how
a new generation of artists

1122
00:56:11,860 --> 00:56:14,540
and brainiacs arose
and challenged God to a fight

1123
00:56:14,540 --> 00:56:19,140
during what historians are already
calling the Renaissance.

1124
00:56:19,140 --> 00:56:22,180
So, is this painting actually good,

1125
00:56:22,180 --> 00:56:24,940
or is it one of those things that
we only think is good

1126
00:56:24,940 --> 00:56:27,860
because we're told it's good,
like seafood?

1127
00:56:56,500 --> 00:56:59,100
Last time, in this
potentially award-winning

1128
00:56:59,100 --> 00:57:03,300
history of human civilisation,
I showed you how our ancestors

1129
00:57:03,300 --> 00:57:05,500
underwent a sudden
spiritual awakening,

1130
00:57:05,500 --> 00:57:07,100
like my Aunt Carol.

1131
00:57:07,100 --> 00:57:10,780
Like Carol, they found exciting
gurus to follow.

1132
00:57:10,780 --> 00:57:13,420
But unlike her, they didn't
leave their husband

1133
00:57:13,420 --> 00:57:17,060
to live on a farm in Wales with them
alongside eight other women,

1134
00:57:17,060 --> 00:57:20,340
in a situation I can't discuss
further as it's currently

1135
00:57:20,340 --> 00:57:23,380
under investigation by
North Wales Police.

1136
00:57:23,380 --> 00:57:26,620
Our world changed forever
as religious messages

1137
00:57:26,620 --> 00:57:29,260
of tolerance and forgiveness
inspired mankind

1138
00:57:29,260 --> 00:57:32,300
to fight like rats in a
shoe for hundreds of years.

1139
00:57:32,300 --> 00:57:35,100
But the world was about
to have its mind expanded

1140
00:57:35,100 --> 00:57:37,180
and then split at the
seams by a different

1141
00:57:37,180 --> 00:57:39,220
kind of higher calling.

1142
00:57:39,220 --> 00:57:42,620
Humankind was about
to undergo a renaissance

1143
00:57:42,620 --> 00:57:44,700
by having the Renaissance,

1144
00:57:44,700 --> 00:57:48,540
here on the same planet
we still use today -

1145
00:57:48,540 --> 00:57:51,820
a glistening space rock
known as Earth.

1146
00:57:51,820 --> 00:57:58,820
This programme contains
some strong language.

1147
00:58:09,660 --> 00:58:11,820
It's the year 1440 -

1148
00:58:11,820 --> 00:58:14,740
not now, but then, in 1440 -

1149
00:58:14,740 --> 00:58:17,620
and a new invention is
about to spark a blaze

1150
00:58:17,620 --> 00:58:20,660
beneath the bush of possibility.

1151
00:58:20,660 --> 00:58:23,700
Centuries earlier, the Chinese
had invented printing,

1152
00:58:23,700 --> 00:58:26,420
but no-one in Europe paid attention
until the printing press

1153
00:58:26,420 --> 00:58:30,740
was invented again by a German
called Johannes Steve Gutenberg.

1154
00:58:30,740 --> 00:58:33,860
Gutenberg's press was the
first of its kind in history,

1155
00:58:33,860 --> 00:58:35,980
except Chinese history.

1156
00:58:35,980 --> 00:58:39,220
Did the printing press
actually change anything

1157
00:58:39,220 --> 00:58:40,540
of significance?

1158
00:58:40,540 --> 00:58:43,380
If Gutenberg hadn't
invented printing,

1159
00:58:43,380 --> 00:58:45,620
which meant that ideas
could be communicated

1160
00:58:45,620 --> 00:58:47,580
throughout the world,

1161
00:58:47,580 --> 00:58:50,940
our culture would not have developed
in the same way as it has.

1162
00:58:50,940 --> 00:58:53,460
So, in many ways,
he has made the world,

1163
00:58:53,460 --> 00:58:55,140
our modern world today.

1164
00:58:55,140 --> 00:58:57,220
So that's your idea of significant?

1165
00:58:58,860 --> 00:59:01,340
The first book to be printed
on Gutenberg's press

1166
00:59:01,340 --> 00:59:02,700
was The Bible.

1167
00:59:02,700 --> 00:59:05,140
But as well as
spreading the word of God,

1168
00:59:05,140 --> 00:59:07,740
it spread the word of
scientists, philosophers,

1169
00:59:07,740 --> 00:59:09,780
and eventually Dan Brown.

1170
00:59:12,420 --> 00:59:14,500
Writing new books takes a long time.

1171
00:59:14,500 --> 00:59:16,340
So to give their
presses something to do,

1172
00:59:16,340 --> 00:59:18,900
people reached back through time

1173
00:59:18,900 --> 00:59:22,220
in search of old material
to repackage.

1174
00:59:22,220 --> 00:59:24,500
That's how the philosophy
of ancient Greece

1175
00:59:24,500 --> 00:59:27,980
suddenly came back in
fashion and blew minds.

1176
00:59:27,980 --> 00:59:31,140
At the time, most people's lives
were as grim and joyless

1177
00:59:31,140 --> 00:59:32,740
as my Uncle Martin.

1178
00:59:32,740 --> 00:59:35,140
Their only hobbies were doing
backbreaking work,

1179
00:59:35,140 --> 00:59:37,300
dying of the plague
or being tortured.

1180
00:59:37,300 --> 00:59:41,700
As far as they were concerned,
this was all there was to life.

1181
00:59:41,700 --> 00:59:45,100
So, for them, being exposed
to ancient Greek philosophy

1182
00:59:45,100 --> 00:59:46,980
wasn't boring like it is now,

1183
00:59:46,980 --> 00:59:49,900
but a mind-expanding
experience that transformed

1184
00:59:49,900 --> 00:59:51,660
the way they saw themselves.

1185
00:59:51,660 --> 00:59:54,300
Like when I mate Paul ate
five ketamine brownies

1186
00:59:54,300 --> 00:59:56,540
and thought he could
communicate telepathically

1187
00:59:56,540 --> 00:59:59,300
with any animal he
saw on television.

1188
00:59:59,300 --> 01:00:03,020
Although, whereas Paul ended up
sectioned for his own safety,

1189
01:00:03,020 --> 01:00:06,300
our ancestors decided
to change the world.

1190
01:00:11,700 --> 01:00:13,340
This is Florence.

1191
01:00:13,340 --> 01:00:17,020
The Italians call it Firenze to try
and stop tourists from finding it.

1192
01:00:17,020 --> 01:00:18,460
But it's definitely Florence,

1193
01:00:18,460 --> 01:00:20,700
because we double
checked it on a British map.

1194
01:00:21,900 --> 01:00:24,940
Florence might look like
a pointless mess today

1195
01:00:24,940 --> 01:00:28,140
but, in the 15th century,
it was the epicentre

1196
01:00:28,140 --> 01:00:32,020
of an unprecedented artistic
and cultural phenomenon.

1197
01:00:32,020 --> 01:00:34,740
What was Renais' sauce?

1198
01:00:34,740 --> 01:00:37,500
Was that a sort of
16th century ketchup?

1199
01:00:37,500 --> 01:00:41,260
Renaissance comes from
the French, Renaissance.

1200
01:00:41,260 --> 01:00:42,700
Re-naissance.

1201
01:00:42,700 --> 01:00:44,060
Naissance is birth.

1202
01:00:44,060 --> 01:00:45,660
So it was seen as a rebirth.

1203
01:00:45,660 --> 01:00:48,020
So it's not a condiment at all?

1204
01:00:48,020 --> 01:00:49,780
No, not as far as I know.
OK.

1205
01:00:49,780 --> 01:00:52,540
What sauces did they use back then?

1206
01:00:52,540 --> 01:00:55,020
So, this is an area
of culinary history

1207
01:00:55,020 --> 01:00:58,420
I'm not very familiar with -
the history of sauces.

1208
01:00:58,420 --> 01:01:00,300
Oh, so you're not the sauce person?

1209
01:01:00,300 --> 01:01:02,380
I'm not predominantly
a sauce person.

1210
01:01:04,580 --> 01:01:08,300
We're going to have to rethink
this whole interview.

1211
01:01:08,300 --> 01:01:11,340
During the Renaissance,
Florence produced artists

1212
01:01:11,340 --> 01:01:13,500
who, for the first time in history,

1213
01:01:13,500 --> 01:01:16,980
were competent enough to create
paintings worth looking at.

1214
01:01:16,980 --> 01:01:19,660
One of the most competent
paintsmiths

1215
01:01:19,660 --> 01:01:21,860
was Botticelli.

1216
01:01:21,860 --> 01:01:23,620
So, what's this painting?

1217
01:01:23,620 --> 01:01:27,300
So, this is Alessandro Botticelli's
The Birth of Venus.

1218
01:01:27,300 --> 01:01:30,660
It's one of the great paintings
of the Renaissance.

1219
01:01:30,660 --> 01:01:34,460
So, do we know if the birth of
Venus actually looked like this?

1220
01:01:34,460 --> 01:01:37,780
Well, it's depicting a
sort of mythical figure,

1221
01:01:37,780 --> 01:01:39,300
so it's sort of metaphorical.

1222
01:01:39,300 --> 01:01:42,140
So it's the idea of a goddess...
Yeah.

1223
01:01:42,140 --> 01:01:45,780
..who is coming into being
rather than being born.

1224
01:01:45,780 --> 01:01:47,300
Her neck's very long.

1225
01:01:47,300 --> 01:01:51,220
Was she part-giraffe, or
could he just not do necks?

1226
01:01:52,900 --> 01:01:56,140
Her neck,

1227
01:01:56,140 --> 01:01:59,020
it's meant to be a sign of beauty -

1228
01:01:59,020 --> 01:02:00,620
that he would have
elongated the neck...

1229
01:02:00,620 --> 01:02:02,060
I've spotted a mistake here.

1230
01:02:02,060 --> 01:02:04,620
Look, he's blowing and her
hair's all whipping about.

1231
01:02:04,620 --> 01:02:06,260
But look at these
trees on the right.

1232
01:02:06,260 --> 01:02:08,500
Not moving at all. No wind.

1233
01:02:08,500 --> 01:02:11,340
I think these people have
been Photoshopped in.

1234
01:02:11,340 --> 01:02:13,620
It's all fake.

1235
01:02:13,620 --> 01:02:18,300
Other notable artists produced
3D paintings, or "sculptures",

1236
01:02:18,300 --> 01:02:21,820
the most famous example being
this very naked man

1237
01:02:21,820 --> 01:02:25,020
known as Michelange-los David.

1238
01:02:25,020 --> 01:02:28,180
If you manage to look past
his little marble goolies,

1239
01:02:28,180 --> 01:02:30,900
you'll notice there's an
incredible amount of detail

1240
01:02:30,900 --> 01:02:33,740
all over the rest of
Michelangelos' body.

1241
01:02:33,740 --> 01:02:36,780
His eyes have pupils in
them, like a Furby does.

1242
01:02:36,780 --> 01:02:38,860
His muscles are really detailed.

1243
01:02:38,860 --> 01:02:40,500
Look at his abs!

1244
01:02:40,500 --> 01:02:42,300
They proved gyms are bullshit,

1245
01:02:42,300 --> 01:02:43,900
because they didn't
have gyms back then.

1246
01:02:43,900 --> 01:02:45,780
But look how toned he is.

1247
01:02:45,780 --> 01:02:48,740
Then there's the realistic veins
in the back of his hands,

1248
01:02:48,740 --> 01:02:51,820
carrying statue
blood to his fingers.

1249
01:02:51,820 --> 01:02:54,500
Yet, despite all this
attention to detail,

1250
01:02:54,500 --> 01:02:58,020
a quick inspection of his back half
reveals he doesn't have an anus.

1251
01:02:58,020 --> 01:03:00,100
It's a baffling omission.

1252
01:03:00,100 --> 01:03:02,020
Maybe the sculptor got embarrassed

1253
01:03:02,020 --> 01:03:04,300
or the model had to
leave early that day

1254
01:03:04,300 --> 01:03:05,820
or didn't actually have an anus.

1255
01:03:05,820 --> 01:03:07,220
We just don't know.

1256
01:03:09,420 --> 01:03:12,460
The undisputed master
of the Renaissance

1257
01:03:12,460 --> 01:03:15,460
was a human known as
Leonardo da Vinci.

1258
01:03:17,620 --> 01:03:19,860
This is The Vitruvian Man.

1259
01:03:19,860 --> 01:03:24,740
It's a drawing made by
Leonardo in about 1490.

1260
01:03:24,740 --> 01:03:26,300
What's it for?

1261
01:03:28,340 --> 01:03:30,260
You know, what's the point of it?

1262
01:03:30,260 --> 01:03:34,980
The point was that
Leonardo wanted to know

1263
01:03:34,980 --> 01:03:40,380
how to sketch the
human body proportion.

1264
01:03:40,380 --> 01:03:43,180
Just to be clear, you can
see his bits, too?

1265
01:03:43,180 --> 01:03:45,020
I'm not imagining that?

1266
01:03:45,020 --> 01:03:47,820
Is there a version of this
with underpants on?

1267
01:03:47,820 --> 01:03:49,940
Oh, no, no. No.

1268
01:03:49,940 --> 01:03:51,740
He thought that was fine, did he?

1269
01:03:51,740 --> 01:03:53,540
It's a bit rude, isn't it?

1270
01:03:53,540 --> 01:03:55,340
No, it's not.

1271
01:03:55,340 --> 01:03:57,660
Because, you know, the beauty...

1272
01:03:57,660 --> 01:04:01,500
The beauty of the human body,
of course...

1273
01:04:01,500 --> 01:04:04,300
But look at the todger. You
can't say that's beautiful.

1274
01:04:07,020 --> 01:04:08,620
Look at it.

1275
01:04:08,620 --> 01:04:11,860
Leonardo also filled
notebook after notebook

1276
01:04:11,860 --> 01:04:15,260
with drawings of inventions
years ahead of their time.

1277
01:04:15,260 --> 01:04:16,820
What's that?

1278
01:04:16,820 --> 01:04:18,500
This is a flying machine.

1279
01:04:18,500 --> 01:04:21,340
It's like the helicopter.

1280
01:04:21,340 --> 01:04:23,220
It doesn't look very convincing.

1281
01:04:23,220 --> 01:04:26,820
Like, my mate Paul
invented a treadmill

1282
01:04:26,820 --> 01:04:28,620
for his fiancee's pet snake.

1283
01:04:28,620 --> 01:04:32,140
And the sketches for that were
much more convincing than this.

1284
01:04:32,140 --> 01:04:33,580
And he was on mushrooms.

1285
01:04:33,580 --> 01:04:37,620
Mind you, the prototype did
pull the snake's head off.

1286
01:04:37,620 --> 01:04:38,900
Yeah.

1287
01:04:38,900 --> 01:04:43,140
Worst ending to a birthday
party I've ever been to.

1288
01:04:43,140 --> 01:04:44,860
His inventions were one thing,

1289
01:04:44,860 --> 01:04:48,620
but it's mainly for his paintings
that we know da Vinci today.

1290
01:04:48,620 --> 01:04:51,260
This is the Mona Lisa,
an actual painting

1291
01:04:51,260 --> 01:04:54,300
that exists in our world
and on this wall.

1292
01:04:54,300 --> 01:04:56,740
It's Mona Lisa's
enigmatic character

1293
01:04:56,740 --> 01:04:58,100
that draws people in.

1294
01:04:58,100 --> 01:05:02,020
Like all women, you simply can't
tell what's going on in her head.

1295
01:05:02,020 --> 01:05:05,100
Just looking at her prompts
so many questions.

1296
01:05:05,100 --> 01:05:08,020
Who is she?
What's she smiling about?

1297
01:05:08,020 --> 01:05:10,140
Is she holding a balloon
between her knees?

1298
01:05:10,140 --> 01:05:12,620
And if so, what colour is it?

1299
01:05:12,620 --> 01:05:15,220
Has she got a boyfriend?
What's his name?

1300
01:05:15,220 --> 01:05:18,460
What's between his knees
and how can we find out?

1301
01:05:18,460 --> 01:05:20,500
The answer is we can't.

1302
01:05:20,500 --> 01:05:23,860
And that's why people
keep returning every year

1303
01:05:23,860 --> 01:05:26,020
to gaze upon her and wonder.

1304
01:05:26,020 --> 01:05:28,740
Then stop wondering and go home.

1305
01:05:28,740 --> 01:05:30,460
As well as looking all right,

1306
01:05:30,460 --> 01:05:34,020
da Vinci's work demonstrated mastery
of the trailblazing techniques

1307
01:05:34,020 --> 01:05:35,500
of the age, it says here.

1308
01:05:35,500 --> 01:05:37,260
Before the Renaissance,

1309
01:05:37,260 --> 01:05:41,780
other people's paintings
were in a sort of wonky 2D.

1310
01:05:41,780 --> 01:05:44,740
That's because artists had
no sense of perspective.

1311
01:05:44,740 --> 01:05:47,900
A bit like my mate Paul, who
punched a waiter in a TGI Fridays

1312
01:05:47,900 --> 01:05:50,140
for dropping his banoffee pie.

1313
01:05:50,140 --> 01:05:52,980
Just look at this 14th century
painting of Jesus

1314
01:05:52,980 --> 01:05:55,220
having his fateful tea party.

1315
01:05:55,220 --> 01:05:57,300
The dimensions are all wrong.

1316
01:05:57,300 --> 01:05:59,940
The room's squashed up so
it looks like it's happening

1317
01:05:59,940 --> 01:06:02,580
in the lid of a cardboard box.

1318
01:06:02,580 --> 01:06:05,020
Jesus is twice as big as the others,

1319
01:06:05,020 --> 01:06:07,060
so it looks like he's enjoying
an intimate dinner

1320
01:06:07,060 --> 01:06:09,460
with some schoolboys -
not a good look.

1321
01:06:09,460 --> 01:06:11,860
And what are those?
Bowls or seashells?

1322
01:06:11,860 --> 01:06:13,700
It's just shoddy craftsmanship.

1323
01:06:13,700 --> 01:06:15,540
Absolutely disgraceful.

1324
01:06:15,540 --> 01:06:17,780
Shouldn't even be in a museum.

1325
01:06:17,780 --> 01:06:21,460
But da Vinci's reboot of the same
painting is a different story.

1326
01:06:21,460 --> 01:06:24,300
He knew how to perspective
the fuck out of things.

1327
01:06:24,300 --> 01:06:26,700
Look at the angles of the
walls in The Last Supper,

1328
01:06:26,700 --> 01:06:28,180
and the table there.

1329
01:06:28,180 --> 01:06:32,620
You almost feel like you could crawl
inside it and betray Jesus yourself.

1330
01:06:32,620 --> 01:06:36,540
Perspective was a huge
leap forward for human art,

1331
01:06:36,540 --> 01:06:38,900
on a par with the release
of Crash Bandicoot

1332
01:06:38,900 --> 01:06:40,340
centuries later.

1333
01:06:40,340 --> 01:06:43,180
There's no denying the Renaissance
was a pretty big deal

1334
01:06:43,180 --> 01:06:44,620
for civilisation.

1335
01:06:44,620 --> 01:06:48,860
Just how important it was is for
experts to decide.

1336
01:06:48,860 --> 01:06:51,900
Which was more culturally
significant -

1337
01:06:51,900 --> 01:06:56,460
the Renaissance or
Single Ladies by Beyonce?

1338
01:06:57,580 --> 01:06:59,540
They both have their period.

1339
01:06:59,540 --> 01:07:01,260
They both have their time.

1340
01:07:02,820 --> 01:07:04,500
Beyonce, I'm rather fond of.

1341
01:07:04,500 --> 01:07:06,740
But what the Renaissance
was trying to do

1342
01:07:06,740 --> 01:07:08,620
was to reform culture as a whole.

1343
01:07:08,620 --> 01:07:10,260
And whatever Beyonce does,

1344
01:07:10,260 --> 01:07:12,260
I don't think she's quite
got that ambition.

1345
01:07:12,260 --> 01:07:15,300
So, what? The work of a
few straight white men

1346
01:07:15,300 --> 01:07:17,300
just blows Beyonce
out of the water.

1347
01:07:17,300 --> 01:07:19,100
Is that what you're saying?
On camera?

1348
01:07:21,780 --> 01:07:25,220
The Renaissance might have
been expanding minds

1349
01:07:25,220 --> 01:07:28,660
but, without programmes like
this around to educate them,

1350
01:07:28,660 --> 01:07:31,380
people were still largely
ignorant about the planet

1351
01:07:31,380 --> 01:07:33,260
they were living on.

1352
01:07:33,260 --> 01:07:36,940
Ask a medieval peasant where America
was and you'd get a blank look.

1353
01:07:36,940 --> 01:07:39,860
Or worse still, the plague.

1354
01:07:39,860 --> 01:07:43,020
That's because, to them, the world
map looked like this -

1355
01:07:43,020 --> 01:07:46,340
a garbled mass of the countries
they'd discovered so far,

1356
01:07:46,340 --> 01:07:50,900
all squashed together, with
America nowhere to be seen.

1357
01:07:50,900 --> 01:07:53,020
But one man changed all that.

1358
01:07:53,020 --> 01:07:56,300
Italian sailor and detective
Christopher Columbo.

1359
01:07:56,300 --> 01:07:59,340
Columbo thought that if he
sailed off the edge of the map,

1360
01:07:59,340 --> 01:08:01,740
he'd reappear on the
other side like Pacman.

1361
01:08:01,740 --> 01:08:03,700
It would be a short cut to India,

1362
01:08:03,700 --> 01:08:05,940
and he'd shake off
any ghosts on his tail.

1363
01:08:05,940 --> 01:08:07,700
It was a huge risk.

1364
01:08:07,700 --> 01:08:10,580
If Columbo was right,
he'd be a millionaire.

1365
01:08:10,580 --> 01:08:13,220
If he was wrong,
he'd be a laughing stock,

1366
01:08:13,220 --> 01:08:14,780
but a dead one.

1367
01:08:14,780 --> 01:08:17,620
And he could live with that,
which is why he set sail.

1368
01:08:17,620 --> 01:08:20,260
Columbo failed to find India,

1369
01:08:20,260 --> 01:08:23,340
but his ship eventually
bumped into the New World,

1370
01:08:23,340 --> 01:08:26,300
Planet Earth, part II,
aka America.

1371
01:08:26,300 --> 01:08:29,580
And before long, others were
following in his wake.

1372
01:08:31,420 --> 01:08:32,900
This is Plymouth.

1373
01:08:32,900 --> 01:08:35,660
Gathered here in 1620
was a group of pilgrims

1374
01:08:35,660 --> 01:08:37,500
who yearned for a better life,

1375
01:08:37,500 --> 01:08:40,980
which isn't surprising because,
like I say, this is Plymouth.

1376
01:08:40,980 --> 01:08:44,220
The pilgrims leapt into
their watermobile or boat,

1377
01:08:44,220 --> 01:08:46,700
the Starship Mayflower,

1378
01:08:46,700 --> 01:08:50,580
and bravely sailed across this
drawing of the Atlantic Ocean

1379
01:08:50,580 --> 01:08:53,980
to arrive on the other side,
still in Plymouth.

1380
01:08:53,980 --> 01:08:56,300
They must've been devastated.

1381
01:08:56,300 --> 01:09:00,100
Luckily, it turned out this Plymouth
wasn't the one they'd just left.

1382
01:09:00,100 --> 01:09:04,460
At first, the European colonists
found life in the New World hard.

1383
01:09:04,460 --> 01:09:07,460
Luckily, some Native Americans
taught them how to grow corn

1384
01:09:07,460 --> 01:09:08,860
and where to fish.

1385
01:09:08,860 --> 01:09:10,820
In exchange, the
colonists introduced

1386
01:09:10,820 --> 01:09:13,900
the Native Americans to smallpox.

1387
01:09:13,900 --> 01:09:16,340
The settlers never forgot
what the Native Americans

1388
01:09:16,340 --> 01:09:18,980
had done for them,
although they did ignore it

1389
01:09:18,980 --> 01:09:21,220
when they massacred them
years later.

1390
01:09:21,220 --> 01:09:24,540
While the New World was
undergoing massive change,

1391
01:09:24,540 --> 01:09:28,940
a controversial breakthrough
was brewing in the Old World.

1392
01:09:28,940 --> 01:09:32,900
It's the early 1600s, and this
stupidly-dressed scientist

1393
01:09:32,900 --> 01:09:36,260
is about to change the way
mankind sees itself forever.

1394
01:09:36,260 --> 01:09:39,300
His name is Galileo, one
of the few figures in history

1395
01:09:39,300 --> 01:09:42,540
to become so famous they're
known by just one name,

1396
01:09:42,540 --> 01:09:46,260
like Churchill, Pepsi or Garfield.

1397
01:09:46,260 --> 01:09:51,300
Galileo's full name was Galileo
Figaro Magnifico, wasn't it?

1398
01:09:51,300 --> 01:09:54,580
I'm not sure that's right.
I don't know...

1399
01:09:54,580 --> 01:09:56,980
That's what it says in
Dominican Rhapsody.

1400
01:09:56,980 --> 01:09:58,780
Are you thinking of
Bohemian Rhapsody?

1401
01:09:58,780 --> 01:10:00,140
What was his name, then?

1402
01:10:00,140 --> 01:10:01,820
Well, as far as I'm aware,

1403
01:10:01,820 --> 01:10:04,100
his name was Galileo Galilei.

1404
01:10:04,100 --> 01:10:06,540
Galileo Galilei?
Yes.

1405
01:10:06,540 --> 01:10:09,940
That's like me being called
Philomena Philomeni.

1406
01:10:10,940 --> 01:10:12,820
Actually, I quite like that.

1407
01:10:12,820 --> 01:10:15,940
Galileo invented a
telescope so powerful

1408
01:10:15,940 --> 01:10:18,700
he could watch people getting
changed on the Sun.

1409
01:10:18,700 --> 01:10:21,940
Bloody hell! This makes
everything look massive!

1410
01:10:21,940 --> 01:10:24,100
Have you had to go on this yet?
It's amazing!

1411
01:10:25,220 --> 01:10:26,740
How did you do that?

1412
01:10:26,740 --> 01:10:29,260
Are you the real Galileo
or an actor one?

1413
01:10:30,860 --> 01:10:33,140
Was the real one busy?

1414
01:10:33,140 --> 01:10:37,060
Galileo's astronomical smart-arsery
led him to a discovery

1415
01:10:37,060 --> 01:10:40,420
so shocking the Pope
shat his hat off.

1416
01:10:40,420 --> 01:10:42,060
According to the Old Testament,

1417
01:10:42,060 --> 01:10:45,100
the Sun goes around the Earth -
not the other way around.

1418
01:10:45,100 --> 01:10:47,580
So, as far as the
church was concerned,

1419
01:10:47,580 --> 01:10:50,380
Galileo was calling
the Bible a liar.

1420
01:10:50,380 --> 01:10:53,420
Rather than overreact,
they did the Christian thing

1421
01:10:53,420 --> 01:10:55,260
by accusing him of heresy

1422
01:10:55,260 --> 01:10:58,540
and finding him guilty
in a corrupt show trial.

1423
01:10:58,540 --> 01:11:01,140
Galileo was sentenced to
spend the rest of his life

1424
01:11:01,140 --> 01:11:05,020
under house arrest on a planet
with a sun spinning around it.

1425
01:11:05,020 --> 01:11:07,300
The church thought the
Sun went round the Earth,

1426
01:11:07,300 --> 01:11:10,340
but Galileo thought the
Earth went round the Sun.

1427
01:11:10,340 --> 01:11:12,540
Whose side are we on, here?

1428
01:11:12,540 --> 01:11:15,380
We're most definitely
on Galileo's side,

1429
01:11:15,380 --> 01:11:17,820
as I think the church is today.

1430
01:11:17,820 --> 01:11:20,220
Is it possible they were both
right, and the Sun and Earth

1431
01:11:20,220 --> 01:11:21,540
go round each other?

1432
01:11:21,540 --> 01:11:23,020
That would keep everyone happy.

1433
01:11:23,020 --> 01:11:25,140
Can we just agree on that?

1434
01:11:25,140 --> 01:11:28,420
If only he'd invented some
kind of immortality engine

1435
01:11:28,420 --> 01:11:30,620
instead of his pointless telescope,

1436
01:11:30,620 --> 01:11:33,900
Galileo might have lived
to see his ideas accepted.

1437
01:11:33,900 --> 01:11:36,740
Sadly, he simply wasn't that clever.

1438
01:11:37,940 --> 01:11:40,340
Like science, the
world of philosophy

1439
01:11:40,340 --> 01:11:41,980
was also expanding,

1440
01:11:41,980 --> 01:11:44,700
thanks to massive
thinkers like this man.

1441
01:11:44,700 --> 01:11:47,940
Who was Jim Des Cart?

1442
01:11:47,940 --> 01:11:53,140
Well, I don't know who
Jim Des Cart might be,

1443
01:11:53,140 --> 01:11:56,660
but I do know that Rene Descartes
is often thought of

1444
01:11:56,660 --> 01:11:59,100
as the founder of modern philosophy.

1445
01:11:59,100 --> 01:12:02,860
What did he mean by,
"I think, therefore I am"?

1446
01:12:04,100 --> 01:12:09,980
Descartes meant that self-awareness,

1447
01:12:09,980 --> 01:12:12,580
self-consciousness

1448
01:12:12,580 --> 01:12:16,940
is the defining feature
of human identity.

1449
01:12:16,940 --> 01:12:20,140
So, hang on, if I think,
therefore I am,

1450
01:12:20,140 --> 01:12:21,740
what about other people?

1451
01:12:21,740 --> 01:12:24,260
Do they think, therefore they am?

1452
01:12:24,260 --> 01:12:27,500
How can I tell if they're
thinking, therefore they am?

1453
01:12:27,500 --> 01:12:31,500
Or am I just thinking they
think, therefore they am,

1454
01:12:31,500 --> 01:12:33,260
but actually they're not real

1455
01:12:33,260 --> 01:12:35,220
and I'm only thinking they am?

1456
01:12:35,220 --> 01:12:38,500
Are you thinking,
therefore you am right now?

1457
01:12:38,500 --> 01:12:43,100
Well, I wouldn't want to say
that my existence is dependent

1458
01:12:43,100 --> 01:12:45,580
upon my thought,

1459
01:12:45,580 --> 01:12:49,820
but that is not the claim
that Descartes wants to make.

1460
01:12:49,820 --> 01:12:52,420
Is it possible to think
you're someone else?

1461
01:12:52,420 --> 01:12:55,580
Like, if I thought really hard

1462
01:12:55,580 --> 01:12:58,180
that I was Eddie Murphy,

1463
01:12:58,180 --> 01:13:00,820
could I eventually become him?

1464
01:13:00,820 --> 01:13:04,580
If I did become him,
would he become me

1465
01:13:04,580 --> 01:13:07,300
or would he just disappear?

1466
01:13:07,300 --> 01:13:09,500
Did Des Carts ever
cover this stuff?

1467
01:13:10,940 --> 01:13:15,620
No, that's not a topic
that Descartes is covering,

1468
01:13:15,620 --> 01:13:18,260
as far as I'm aware.
Why not?

1469
01:13:18,260 --> 01:13:21,020
Descartes inspired an
intellectual movement known as

1470
01:13:21,020 --> 01:13:22,900
the Enlightenment,

1471
01:13:22,900 --> 01:13:26,060
during which Metrosexual Elitists
published essays

1472
01:13:26,060 --> 01:13:30,060
that expanded humankind's horizons
in a manner that will go unmatched

1473
01:13:30,060 --> 01:13:34,700
until the 1989 release of Belgian
techno anthem Pump Up The Jam.

1474
01:13:49,940 --> 01:13:52,260
# Pump up the jam, pump it up

1475
01:13:52,260 --> 01:13:54,220
# While your feet are stompin'

1476
01:13:54,220 --> 01:13:56,020
# And the jam is pumpin'

1477
01:13:56,020 --> 01:13:58,020
# Look ahead, the crowd is jumpin'

1478
01:13:58,020 --> 01:13:59,700
# Pump it up a little more

1479
01:13:59,700 --> 01:14:01,940
# Get the party going on
the dance floor

1480
01:14:01,940 --> 01:14:03,780
# See, cos that's where the
party's at

1481
01:14:03,780 --> 01:14:06,220
# And you'll find out
if you do that

1482
01:14:06,220 --> 01:14:09,660
# I don't want a place to stay

1483
01:14:09,660 --> 01:14:12,420
# Get your booty on the floor
tonight

1484
01:14:12,420 --> 01:14:13,900
# Make my day

1485
01:14:13,900 --> 01:14:17,340
# I don't want a place to stay

1486
01:14:17,340 --> 01:14:20,380
# Get your booty on the
floor tonight... #

1487
01:14:20,380 --> 01:14:22,260
The man trapped inside
this painting

1488
01:14:22,260 --> 01:14:25,620
is Enlightenment philosopher
Jean-Jacques Rousseau,

1489
01:14:25,620 --> 01:14:29,220
a name so French he might as well
have been called Pierre Baguette,

1490
01:14:29,220 --> 01:14:30,980
but wasn't.

1491
01:14:30,980 --> 01:14:33,220
Which is why I didn't call him that.

1492
01:14:33,220 --> 01:14:38,300
Rousseau wrote, "Man is free,
but is everywhere in chains."

1493
01:14:38,300 --> 01:14:40,740
He dreamed of a new
society in which people

1494
01:14:40,740 --> 01:14:42,980
were masters of their own destiny.

1495
01:14:42,980 --> 01:14:45,460
It was the same dream
that was tempting colonists

1496
01:14:45,460 --> 01:14:49,460
to the new world in
droves - and boats.

1497
01:14:49,460 --> 01:14:51,900
After arriving in America
to forge a life

1498
01:14:51,900 --> 01:14:54,980
of honest hard work and toil,
many of these colonists

1499
01:14:54,980 --> 01:14:57,180
quickly discovered
they couldn't be arsed,

1500
01:14:57,180 --> 01:15:01,060
so they stole people from Africa
and made them do it instead.

1501
01:15:01,060 --> 01:15:03,300
You might think these
were precisely the people

1502
01:15:03,300 --> 01:15:05,820
Rousseau had been talking
about when he said mankind

1503
01:15:05,820 --> 01:15:07,700
needed to throw off its chains.

1504
01:15:07,700 --> 01:15:09,220
But they weren't.

1505
01:15:09,220 --> 01:15:12,020
Like many humanists,
he'd found a clever loophole.

1506
01:15:12,020 --> 01:15:16,300
By not thinking of slaves as human,
he was free to not give a shit.

1507
01:15:16,300 --> 01:15:19,700
As luck would have it, around this
time, the colonists started getting

1508
01:15:19,700 --> 01:15:21,340
interested in freedom.

1509
01:15:22,580 --> 01:15:25,540
Although as luck wouldn't have it,
it wasn't the slaves' freedom

1510
01:15:25,540 --> 01:15:28,260
they were interested in,
but their own.

1511
01:15:28,260 --> 01:15:31,340
The British colonies were ruled
by king, and line drawing,

1512
01:15:31,340 --> 01:15:33,340
George III.

1513
01:15:33,340 --> 01:15:35,620
But the relationship
between Old England

1514
01:15:35,620 --> 01:15:38,620
and the New World
was getting frosty.

1515
01:15:38,620 --> 01:15:43,740
What started the tension between the
British and the Americans?

1516
01:15:43,740 --> 01:15:46,740
Was it because you say "cookies"
and we say "biscuits"

1517
01:15:46,740 --> 01:15:49,540
and you say "sidewalk"
and we say "pavement"?

1518
01:15:49,540 --> 01:15:51,980
Cos I find, in a relationship,
it's those little things

1519
01:15:51,980 --> 01:15:54,020
that start to grate after a while.

1520
01:15:54,020 --> 01:15:55,660
It was worse than that!

1521
01:15:55,660 --> 01:15:58,540
Britain decided they were
going to tax the colonies,

1522
01:15:58,540 --> 01:15:59,980
and this hadn't happened before.

1523
01:15:59,980 --> 01:16:03,540
So it was a disagreement
over money, basically?

1524
01:16:03,540 --> 01:16:07,260
It's like the situation
between me and my ex, Sean.

1525
01:16:07,260 --> 01:16:09,500
When we used to get a takeaway -

1526
01:16:09,500 --> 01:16:11,540
or "takeout", as you call it -

1527
01:16:11,540 --> 01:16:16,260
sometimes, you know, he would
always insist that we go halves,

1528
01:16:16,260 --> 01:16:19,860
and yet he would want to
buy things like onion bhajis,

1529
01:16:19,860 --> 01:16:21,900
which he knows I hate.

1530
01:16:21,900 --> 01:16:24,500
And they made his
breath stink. Mm.

1531
01:16:24,500 --> 01:16:26,900
So I had to pay for half of that.

1532
01:16:26,900 --> 01:16:29,460
That doesn't seem fair to me.

1533
01:16:29,460 --> 01:16:31,220
Does it to you?

1534
01:16:31,220 --> 01:16:33,260
Put that way, no.

1535
01:16:33,260 --> 01:16:35,300
No, and that's from
a professor, Sean.

1536
01:16:36,900 --> 01:16:39,980
Finally, in Boston, in 1773,

1537
01:16:39,980 --> 01:16:42,860
a group of colonists
decided they'd had enough.

1538
01:16:42,860 --> 01:16:47,700
So when the people in Boston
got angry with the British,

1539
01:16:47,700 --> 01:16:51,660
why did they just hold
a prissy tea party

1540
01:16:51,660 --> 01:16:54,900
instead of having a proper
fight like British men would?

1541
01:16:54,900 --> 01:16:58,260
Why has there always been
this big, cowardly streak

1542
01:16:58,260 --> 01:17:00,980
in the Americans,
even to this day?

1543
01:17:00,980 --> 01:17:04,140
Well, the only cowardly
streak in that, I suppose,

1544
01:17:04,140 --> 01:17:07,780
is that they dressed
themselves up as Indians

1545
01:17:07,780 --> 01:17:09,820
and no-one said who
their names were.

1546
01:17:09,820 --> 01:17:14,060
But would you voluntarily,
when you didn't have to,

1547
01:17:14,060 --> 01:17:15,300
go to jail?

1548
01:17:16,580 --> 01:17:20,140
It depends what facilities
they had, I think.

1549
01:17:20,140 --> 01:17:23,180
Disrespecting our tea was one thing,

1550
01:17:23,180 --> 01:17:26,300
but an even nastier slap
in the tits was to come.

1551
01:17:26,300 --> 01:17:30,300
In 1776, the leaders
of the 13 colonies

1552
01:17:30,300 --> 01:17:33,020
decided that they didn't want
to be called "British" any more,

1553
01:17:33,020 --> 01:17:35,020
but Americans.

1554
01:17:35,020 --> 01:17:38,980
This straight, white supergroup,
known as the Founding Fathers,

1555
01:17:38,980 --> 01:17:42,100
drafted the most famous
break-up text in history -

1556
01:17:42,100 --> 01:17:44,540
the Declaration of Independence.

1557
01:17:44,540 --> 01:17:46,740
All the men you see
here became idols,

1558
01:17:46,740 --> 01:17:47,980
if you're American.

1559
01:17:47,980 --> 01:17:50,540
Otherwise,
they're just not all that.

1560
01:17:50,540 --> 01:17:54,300
It led to all-out war between
American and British.

1561
01:17:54,300 --> 01:17:57,260
Because no-one had invented
camouflage yet,

1562
01:17:57,260 --> 01:18:00,340
the British troops of the
time wore bright red coats

1563
01:18:00,340 --> 01:18:02,620
and were consequently
shot in their thousands

1564
01:18:02,620 --> 01:18:05,060
while looking amazing.

1565
01:18:05,060 --> 01:18:08,820
This painting depicts one of the
war's most pivotal events -

1566
01:18:08,820 --> 01:18:11,860
George Washington crossing
the Delaware River.

1567
01:18:11,860 --> 01:18:15,220
As you can see, he had to stand up
for the whole journey

1568
01:18:15,220 --> 01:18:17,060
because he hadn't reserved a seat.

1569
01:18:17,060 --> 01:18:20,180
He didn't fall in, but he also
didn't help with the rowing,

1570
01:18:20,180 --> 01:18:22,380
which must've been annoying.

1571
01:18:22,380 --> 01:18:24,380
Eventually, Washington won,

1572
01:18:24,380 --> 01:18:26,740
becoming America's first president,

1573
01:18:26,740 --> 01:18:31,700
the single most revered role
in the world until 2016.

1574
01:18:31,700 --> 01:18:35,460
Washington and the other founding
daddies wrote the Constitution,

1575
01:18:35,460 --> 01:18:39,180
an instruction manual for their new
country containing some of the most

1576
01:18:39,180 --> 01:18:41,860
influential political concepts ever.

1577
01:18:41,860 --> 01:18:46,580
I read somewhere that America isn't
just a country, but an idea.

1578
01:18:46,580 --> 01:18:49,220
But it is just a country, isn't it?

1579
01:18:49,220 --> 01:18:51,820
Well, it was founded under an idea,

1580
01:18:51,820 --> 01:18:55,660
so it's organised around, has
always been organised around,

1581
01:18:55,660 --> 01:18:58,300
the idea it's a land
of liberty for everyone.

1582
01:18:58,300 --> 01:19:00,740
Yeah, but, like, having a sandwich -
that's an idea.

1583
01:19:00,740 --> 01:19:03,340
Painting your bicycle blue -
that's an idea.

1584
01:19:03,340 --> 01:19:05,260
Going...

1585
01:19:05,260 --> 01:19:07,020
That's an idea.

1586
01:19:07,020 --> 01:19:08,860
America is just a place.

1587
01:19:08,860 --> 01:19:12,500
The American Revolution sent
shock waves around the globe,

1588
01:19:12,500 --> 01:19:14,220
not to mention the planet.

1589
01:19:14,220 --> 01:19:16,580
It hit especially hard in France,

1590
01:19:16,580 --> 01:19:20,540
where the common man, or homme,
had to scrabble about in the muck

1591
01:19:20,540 --> 01:19:24,940
while the rich had got so
posh they'd evolved frills.

1592
01:19:24,940 --> 01:19:27,740
Soon, the average Jacques
had had enough of their ruler,

1593
01:19:27,740 --> 01:19:29,180
King Louis the 16th,

1594
01:19:29,180 --> 01:19:31,540
and his identical wives,
Mary and Toinette,

1595
01:19:31,540 --> 01:19:33,500
who enjoyed lavish lifestyles

1596
01:19:33,500 --> 01:19:37,340
while the poor were forced
to survive on cake.

1597
01:19:37,340 --> 01:19:42,980
Finally, in 1789, it exploded
into topless revolution.

1598
01:19:42,980 --> 01:19:46,260
The poor toppled the king
and invented a machine

1599
01:19:46,260 --> 01:19:48,460
that would rid the world
of royalty forever.

1600
01:19:50,300 --> 01:19:53,340
The guillotine was
specifically designed to be

1601
01:19:53,340 --> 01:19:55,940
the most humane way
to decapitate someone

1602
01:19:55,940 --> 01:19:58,100
in front of a jeering crowd.

1603
01:19:58,100 --> 01:20:03,100
You simply fed a royal, head-first,
through the chopping hole here,

1604
01:20:03,100 --> 01:20:05,820
then the razor sharp blade
up there would drop down

1605
01:20:05,820 --> 01:20:08,580
and slice their head off,
sending it sailing away

1606
01:20:08,580 --> 01:20:10,220
from their neck and body.

1607
01:20:10,220 --> 01:20:13,060
At that point, they probably
thought they'd escaped,

1608
01:20:13,060 --> 01:20:15,500
but any sense of
victory was short-lived

1609
01:20:15,500 --> 01:20:18,740
because moments later
they'd land face first

1610
01:20:18,740 --> 01:20:21,260
into this horribly coarse
wicker basket.

1611
01:20:23,020 --> 01:20:26,060
If you look, there's
no padding in there.

1612
01:20:26,060 --> 01:20:28,580
So the fall would have
caused extensive bruising

1613
01:20:28,580 --> 01:20:30,500
and maybe even concussion.

1614
01:20:30,500 --> 01:20:32,140
I suppose it could've been worse.

1615
01:20:32,140 --> 01:20:34,340
They could've made you stick
your head out of a carriage

1616
01:20:34,340 --> 01:20:36,420
and driven really
close to a building.

1617
01:20:36,420 --> 01:20:39,660
Even so, being guillotined
would have had a huge impact

1618
01:20:39,660 --> 01:20:42,460
on anyone,
but especially King Louis.

1619
01:20:42,460 --> 01:20:46,380
With his head gone, he could never
breed or wear a crown again,

1620
01:20:46,380 --> 01:20:48,180
and was almost
certainly unemployable

1621
01:20:48,180 --> 01:20:50,020
in any other line of work.

1622
01:20:50,020 --> 01:20:51,940
Perhaps that's why
he chose to withdraw

1623
01:20:51,940 --> 01:20:55,100
from public life completely
shortly after it happened.

1624
01:20:55,100 --> 01:20:58,260
The French Revolution wasn't
the first time the masses

1625
01:20:58,260 --> 01:21:01,580
had risen up against the elite,
and it may not be the last.

1626
01:21:01,580 --> 01:21:03,780
A lot of revolutions seem
to be about poor people

1627
01:21:03,780 --> 01:21:05,500
overthrowing the rich.

1628
01:21:05,500 --> 01:21:08,300
Do you think billionaires,
like Elon Musk,

1629
01:21:08,300 --> 01:21:11,300
should be worried about
getting guillotined?

1630
01:21:11,300 --> 01:21:15,540
I think that the French Revolution
certainly made a lot of people

1631
01:21:15,540 --> 01:21:19,700
who were powerful very, very
worried about their existence.

1632
01:21:19,700 --> 01:21:22,580
I suppose Elon Musk
could invent a machine

1633
01:21:22,580 --> 01:21:24,500
that chops his own
head off electronically

1634
01:21:24,500 --> 01:21:25,980
before the mob arrives.

1635
01:21:25,980 --> 01:21:27,980
Ah, you know much more
about this than I do.

1636
01:21:27,980 --> 01:21:30,140
I'm just guessing. Yeah.

1637
01:21:30,140 --> 01:21:33,380
Soon, France decided it needed
a strong man to take charge

1638
01:21:33,380 --> 01:21:37,140
of things, and they got one in
the form of the Emperor Napoleon.

1639
01:21:37,140 --> 01:21:38,980
No relation to the Emperor Penguin,

1640
01:21:38,980 --> 01:21:41,300
as far as we can
ascertain at this time.

1641
01:21:41,300 --> 01:21:44,460
Napoleon did a load of
massive wars on land and sea,

1642
01:21:44,460 --> 01:21:47,300
which remain far too expensive
to properly recreate

1643
01:21:47,300 --> 01:21:49,820
in historical
documentaries to this day.

1644
01:21:49,820 --> 01:21:52,060
LOUD BANGS

1645
01:21:52,060 --> 01:21:55,620
Laying sound effects over a
painting of a battle like this

1646
01:21:55,620 --> 01:21:58,460
gives some idea of what it
might have been like,

1647
01:21:58,460 --> 01:22:01,140
but there was still a
key ingredient missing.

1648
01:22:01,140 --> 01:22:04,100
A soundtrack of classical
music was the only thing

1649
01:22:04,100 --> 01:22:06,860
that would really bring these
Napoleonic wars to life.

1650
01:22:08,260 --> 01:22:11,660
CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS
LOUD BANGS

1651
01:22:14,060 --> 01:22:16,940
See! Loads better!

1652
01:22:16,940 --> 01:22:19,820
And luckily, classical
music was being perfected

1653
01:22:19,820 --> 01:22:23,700
elsewhere in Europe by a
composer called Beethoven.

1654
01:22:25,100 --> 01:22:28,740
Did Beethoven have an
actual full-sized horse

1655
01:22:28,740 --> 01:22:30,620
living inside his face?

1656
01:22:30,620 --> 01:22:32,660
Sorry, I've misphrased that.

1657
01:22:32,660 --> 01:22:36,060
I mean, was Beethoven good at music?

1658
01:22:37,220 --> 01:22:40,540
Yeah! I mean, he's considered
to be the best composer

1659
01:22:40,540 --> 01:22:42,740
of Western classical music ever.

1660
01:22:42,740 --> 01:22:46,180
Beethoven wrote that song that goes

1661
01:22:46,180 --> 01:22:49,260
"Da-da-da-dum, da-da-da-dum."

1662
01:22:49,260 --> 01:22:51,300
What do those lyrics mean?

1663
01:22:51,300 --> 01:22:54,940
Er, well, it's a really
strong orchestral motif.

1664
01:22:54,940 --> 01:22:57,260
It's just the word "dum"
over and over again.

1665
01:22:57,260 --> 01:23:01,460
Is it a dig at his audience,
or is it German for something?

1666
01:23:01,460 --> 01:23:06,660
With the Beethoven symphonic music,
it's all just instruments.

1667
01:23:06,660 --> 01:23:11,420
So there are no words
to these pieces at all.

1668
01:23:11,420 --> 01:23:14,100
No lyrics? How are we supposed
to know what it's about

1669
01:23:14,100 --> 01:23:15,420
if it doesn't have lyrics?

1670
01:23:15,420 --> 01:23:17,500
It's literally meaningless.

1671
01:23:17,500 --> 01:23:21,340
Despite enjoying great success
with his pointless tunes,

1672
01:23:21,340 --> 01:23:24,940
Beethoven faced huge personal
challenges in his career.

1673
01:23:24,940 --> 01:23:28,060
Is it true that, in the final
years of his working life,

1674
01:23:28,060 --> 01:23:29,500
Beethoven was dead?

1675
01:23:30,700 --> 01:23:33,340
Well, he was deaf
for most of his life.

1676
01:23:33,340 --> 01:23:34,580
No, dead.

1677
01:23:34,580 --> 01:23:35,940
Dead? Yeah.

1678
01:23:37,180 --> 01:23:38,620
No...

1679
01:23:38,620 --> 01:23:40,820
The producer wrote
it in the notes.

1680
01:23:40,820 --> 01:23:43,340
It's definitely here.

1681
01:23:43,340 --> 01:23:44,580
Let me see.

1682
01:23:46,300 --> 01:23:50,980
"In his later years,
Beethoven was profoundly dead."

1683
01:23:50,980 --> 01:23:52,420
Profoundly deaf.

1684
01:23:52,420 --> 01:23:54,660
D-E-A-F.

1685
01:23:54,660 --> 01:23:57,300
Obviously he went
deaf when he died,

1686
01:23:57,300 --> 01:24:01,180
but was he deaf when
he was still alive?

1687
01:24:01,180 --> 01:24:02,860
Yes, he was profoundly.

1688
01:24:02,860 --> 01:24:05,140
Yeah, he was profoundly.
But not dead?

1689
01:24:05,140 --> 01:24:06,500
He wasn't dead...
He wasn't dead.

1690
01:24:06,500 --> 01:24:09,100
..when he was alive.
No, no, not.

1691
01:24:09,100 --> 01:24:12,540
So how did he write the
music when he was dead?

1692
01:24:12,540 --> 01:24:15,940
On the 26th of March, 1827,

1693
01:24:15,940 --> 01:24:18,060
Beethoven did roll over

1694
01:24:18,060 --> 01:24:21,100
and his genius was
thought to be lost forever.

1695
01:24:21,100 --> 01:24:22,900
Until now.

1696
01:24:22,900 --> 01:24:25,700
Silicon Valley boffins
have recreated his mind

1697
01:24:25,700 --> 01:24:28,420
and installed it into
this smart speaker,

1698
01:24:28,420 --> 01:24:30,540
the B8-Hoven Smart Home Plus.

1699
01:24:30,540 --> 01:24:32,220
Let's see if it works.

1700
01:24:32,220 --> 01:24:35,500
B8-Hoven, compose a new symphony.

1701
01:24:35,500 --> 01:24:37,100
Was war das?

1702
01:24:37,100 --> 01:24:39,180
Compose a new symphony!

1703
01:24:39,180 --> 01:24:40,780
Where am I?

1704
01:24:40,780 --> 01:24:43,220
What? Just compose your thing.

1705
01:24:43,220 --> 01:24:46,260
Mein Gott, it is dark in here!
Why am I speaking English?

1706
01:24:46,260 --> 01:24:48,340
I cannot see my legs!
Just...

1707
01:24:48,340 --> 01:24:50,380
..play my Friday night playlist.

1708
01:24:50,380 --> 01:24:51,940
Playing Friday night playlist.

1709
01:24:51,940 --> 01:24:53,540
# Nah, na-na-na-nah...

1710
01:24:53,540 --> 01:24:55,180
Why am I doing this?

1711
01:24:55,180 --> 01:24:57,860
Mein Gott im Himmel, kill me.

1712
01:24:57,860 --> 01:25:00,460
# Here comes the hotstepper
Murderer

1713
01:25:00,460 --> 01:25:02,500
# I'm the lyrical gangster... #

1714
01:25:02,500 --> 01:25:06,140
As we've seen, in just
a few hundred years

1715
01:25:06,140 --> 01:25:09,180
humankind had undergone a
series of massive cultural

1716
01:25:09,180 --> 01:25:11,020
and political revolutions.

1717
01:25:11,020 --> 01:25:14,300
Next time, I'll show you
an even bigger revolution.

1718
01:25:14,300 --> 01:25:18,860
An Industrial Revolution forged
in steel, steam, sweat,

1719
01:25:18,860 --> 01:25:22,660
planes, trains, automobiles
and planes again.

1720
01:25:22,660 --> 01:25:25,860
People tried, for years,
to make an aeroplane.

1721
01:25:25,860 --> 01:25:28,620
Why were we so interested
in conquering the sky?

1722
01:25:28,620 --> 01:25:29,900
There's nothing up there.

1723
01:25:29,900 --> 01:25:31,620
There's not even anywhere to sit.

1724
01:26:01,260 --> 01:26:04,500
Last time, we saw how
the Renaissance turned Europe

1725
01:26:04,500 --> 01:26:09,260
from a load of mud and parsnips into
a posh resort full of paintings,

1726
01:26:09,260 --> 01:26:13,780
and how this awakening led to a
string of people-power uprisings

1727
01:26:13,780 --> 01:26:16,700
that put the establishment
on its arse.

1728
01:26:16,700 --> 01:26:18,940
But the revolutions were
just beginning.

1729
01:26:18,940 --> 01:26:21,980
Humankind was about to leap
forward again

1730
01:26:21,980 --> 01:26:24,540
by taming metal and electricity.

1731
01:26:24,540 --> 01:26:28,620
Progress would usher in a new era
of convenience and entertainment,

1732
01:26:28,620 --> 01:26:31,820
but also threaten the existence
of all life on Earth.

1733
01:26:31,820 --> 01:26:33,860
So, swings and roundabouts, really.

1734
01:26:33,860 --> 01:26:38,100
This week, it's the rise
of the machines here on Earth,

1735
01:26:38,100 --> 01:26:40,740
and also here on Cunk On Earth.

1736
01:26:56,060 --> 01:27:02,500
For centuries, everything in nature,
from people to cows, ran on this...

1737
01:27:02,500 --> 01:27:04,540
..fresh air.

1738
01:27:04,540 --> 01:27:08,420
If you haven't heard of air,
it's an invisible blend of gases

1739
01:27:08,420 --> 01:27:11,820
so addictive we suffer fatal
withdrawal symptoms

1740
01:27:11,820 --> 01:27:14,500
within minutes of our supply
being cut off.

1741
01:27:15,740 --> 01:27:20,260
This dependency made air's rival,
water, jealous.

1742
01:27:20,260 --> 01:27:22,500
Water needed to up its game.

1743
01:27:22,500 --> 01:27:25,100
It needed to become more
indispensable to us,

1744
01:27:25,100 --> 01:27:28,300
its natural masters.
It was feeling the heat,

1745
01:27:28,300 --> 01:27:30,940
heat that turned
it into something useful.

1746
01:27:30,940 --> 01:27:32,980
Steam.

1747
01:27:32,980 --> 01:27:36,700
Steam could be harnessed
to power all kinds of machines.

1748
01:27:36,700 --> 01:27:39,820
And nowhere went steam bonkers
quite like America,

1749
01:27:39,820 --> 01:27:43,540
where it would change the shape
of the country's face forever.

1750
01:27:43,540 --> 01:27:46,900
To understand why, I'm afraid
we have to look at a map.

1751
01:27:46,900 --> 01:27:49,980
At first, settlers had stuck
to the edges of America,

1752
01:27:49,980 --> 01:27:53,740
leaving the middle untouched,
like a frozen pie in a microwave.

1753
01:27:53,740 --> 01:27:56,700
But Americans back then weren't
the humble, unassuming people

1754
01:27:56,700 --> 01:27:58,180
they still aren't today.

1755
01:27:58,180 --> 01:28:01,340
They believed in something called
Manifest Destiny -

1756
01:28:01,340 --> 01:28:04,260
the belief that all the land
belonged to them

1757
01:28:04,260 --> 01:28:06,740
and that God wanted them to go west

1758
01:28:06,740 --> 01:28:08,740
and claim it back from
the Native Americans

1759
01:28:08,740 --> 01:28:11,340
he put there first by mistake.

1760
01:28:11,340 --> 01:28:14,140
What is Manifest Destiny?

1761
01:28:14,140 --> 01:28:19,460
Manifest Destiny is an ideology
that was, in the 1840s and '50s

1762
01:28:19,460 --> 01:28:22,460
in the United States, that America
had a God-given right

1763
01:28:22,460 --> 01:28:24,100
to take over the rest
of the continent

1764
01:28:24,100 --> 01:28:27,820
and sort of spread its values and
its virtues from sea to shining sea.

1765
01:28:27,820 --> 01:28:29,220
Right. So, it's God's plan?

1766
01:28:29,220 --> 01:28:30,660
That was the idea, yes.

1767
01:28:30,660 --> 01:28:33,300
Doesn't this make you God's slaves?

1768
01:28:33,300 --> 01:28:36,300
Well, I think what the people
at the time would say

1769
01:28:36,300 --> 01:28:38,700
is that they were God's
missionaries on Earth,

1770
01:28:38,700 --> 01:28:42,660
and so they felt that they were
willingly enacting his policies

1771
01:28:42,660 --> 01:28:44,700
rather than being forced to do so.

1772
01:28:44,700 --> 01:28:47,420
But at the very least,
you're God's bitches.

1773
01:28:47,420 --> 01:28:50,380
But manifesting your destiny
was dangerous.

1774
01:28:50,380 --> 01:28:53,620
You had to trundle across a perilous
landscape in a rickety wagon

1775
01:28:53,620 --> 01:28:56,060
on the brink of starvation or
shitting yourself to death

1776
01:28:56,060 --> 01:28:59,820
with dysentery, getting bitten
by snakes or butchered by Apaches.

1777
01:28:59,820 --> 01:29:03,380
Almost as if God didn't want
them to do this, after all.

1778
01:29:03,380 --> 01:29:06,620
But the invention of
the steam train changed all that.

1779
01:29:06,620 --> 01:29:09,460
The steam train laughed
in the wagon's face.

1780
01:29:09,460 --> 01:29:12,340
Not literally. This isn't
a children's book.

1781
01:29:12,340 --> 01:29:16,140
The Americans released steam engines
into the wild,

1782
01:29:16,140 --> 01:29:20,660
carving routes across the land
and changing the balance of power.

1783
01:29:20,660 --> 01:29:24,980
Now, fighting with Native Americans
could be conducted at high speed

1784
01:29:24,980 --> 01:29:28,100
and with an accompanying
buffet car service.

1785
01:29:28,100 --> 01:29:32,620
Thanks to the railroads, small towns
formed all across the West.

1786
01:29:32,620 --> 01:29:36,460
They were tough, lawless places
where summary justice was dispensed

1787
01:29:36,460 --> 01:29:37,940
down the barrel of a gun

1788
01:29:37,940 --> 01:29:42,700
as cowboys did whatever it took to
protect their cows and their boys.

1789
01:29:42,700 --> 01:29:45,500
So, can you talk us
through what this is here?

1790
01:29:45,500 --> 01:29:50,100
So, this is the Colt Single Action
Army revolver, the Colt .45.

1791
01:29:50,100 --> 01:29:53,060
And you load it through here.

1792
01:29:53,060 --> 01:29:56,540
And you'd have to cock the hammer
back for each shot.

1793
01:29:56,540 --> 01:29:59,660
Would this only kill people
during the olden days,

1794
01:29:59,660 --> 01:30:02,100
or could it kill modern people, too?

1795
01:30:02,100 --> 01:30:04,540
I'm afraid it definitely
could kill modern people.

1796
01:30:04,540 --> 01:30:07,700
It's so old. It sort of looks
clockwork, doesn't it?

1797
01:30:07,700 --> 01:30:09,700
It does. Do the bullets
come out slowly?

1798
01:30:09,700 --> 01:30:12,260
Could you sort of outrun the bullet?

1799
01:30:12,260 --> 01:30:14,180
You definitely couldn't outrun
the bullet.

1800
01:30:14,180 --> 01:30:16,020
You're right to say it
looks clockwork.

1801
01:30:16,020 --> 01:30:18,940
It's very like a clock mechanism,
with a ratchet inside.

1802
01:30:18,940 --> 01:30:21,420
Rat shit? A ratchet.

1803
01:30:21,420 --> 01:30:24,660
Where did the bullets come out?
Do they come out of that pipe bit?

1804
01:30:24,660 --> 01:30:26,860
They do. Yeah, that's the barrel.

1805
01:30:26,860 --> 01:30:31,340
Can I... Can I hold that up and look
down the end of it?

1806
01:30:31,340 --> 01:30:33,340
Or will that shoot me in the eye?

1807
01:30:33,340 --> 01:30:34,860
It's generally frowned upon.

1808
01:30:34,860 --> 01:30:37,980
So, would getting shot in the eye
actually hurt?

1809
01:30:37,980 --> 01:30:41,460
Because it's just a sort of water
bag, isn't it, your eye?

1810
01:30:41,460 --> 01:30:43,340
I bet it would just pop and sting
a bit,

1811
01:30:43,340 --> 01:30:46,180
but you'd basically be able
to go about your business.

1812
01:30:46,180 --> 01:30:48,820
I don't know. I don't think there's
any good place to get shot.

1813
01:30:48,820 --> 01:30:51,940
Why does humankind feel the need
to invent

1814
01:30:51,940 --> 01:30:53,900
killing machines like this?

1815
01:30:53,900 --> 01:30:58,380
And could you keep your answer
to a sort of sound-bite length?

1816
01:30:58,380 --> 01:31:00,620
Because we're human, I suppose.

1817
01:31:00,620 --> 01:31:06,260
It seems to be built into us
to fight for resources...

1818
01:31:06,260 --> 01:31:08,660
Yeah. ..other humans. Yeah.

1819
01:31:08,660 --> 01:31:10,260
We can't seem to get away from it.

1820
01:31:10,260 --> 01:31:13,300
I don't know. I just
think we're mental.

1821
01:31:13,300 --> 01:31:17,900
Guns played a huge role in shaping
America and also in killing people.

1822
01:31:17,900 --> 01:31:20,860
Even now, the use of firearms
is an integral part

1823
01:31:20,860 --> 01:31:22,740
of their national identity.

1824
01:31:22,740 --> 01:31:26,900
How come Americans have the right
to kill anyone they want with a gun?

1825
01:31:26,900 --> 01:31:30,100
Well, they don't. Murder is illegal
in the United States,

1826
01:31:30,100 --> 01:31:32,340
but they do have the right
to own weapons.

1827
01:31:32,340 --> 01:31:34,060
They have the right to bear arms.

1828
01:31:34,060 --> 01:31:36,300
Correct. But bears don't have arms.

1829
01:31:36,300 --> 01:31:37,740
They do, actually.

1830
01:31:37,740 --> 01:31:39,660
Oh, do they? Yes. I thought
they were legs.

1831
01:31:39,660 --> 01:31:43,220
Well, I'm not a biologist, but
I suppose that when they stand up,

1832
01:31:43,220 --> 01:31:44,460
they're probably arms.

1833
01:31:46,500 --> 01:31:49,540
With its cowboys and guns
and steam-train rides,

1834
01:31:49,540 --> 01:31:52,300
America became known as
the land of the free,

1835
01:31:52,300 --> 01:31:55,220
which must have come as a surprise
to all the slaves.

1836
01:31:55,220 --> 01:31:58,860
The barbaric practice of slavery
was still prevalent in America,

1837
01:31:58,860 --> 01:32:01,740
particularly in the Southern states.

1838
01:32:01,740 --> 01:32:04,380
But by finally thinking hard
about the subject,

1839
01:32:04,380 --> 01:32:08,260
the people of the Northern states
made a horrifying discovery -

1840
01:32:08,260 --> 01:32:12,300
that inside each slave was an actual
human person.

1841
01:32:12,300 --> 01:32:15,980
The North asked the South what kind
of America it wanted to live in -

1842
01:32:15,980 --> 01:32:18,380
one where white people leeched
off other races

1843
01:32:18,380 --> 01:32:20,220
while treating them as inferior,

1844
01:32:20,220 --> 01:32:23,500
or one where they pretended
they didn't.

1845
01:32:23,500 --> 01:32:26,100
The argument escalated into
a civil war,

1846
01:32:26,100 --> 01:32:30,380
a time when America was almost
as polarised as it is today.

1847
01:32:30,380 --> 01:32:33,140
The Civil War tore America
apart, didn't it?

1848
01:32:33,140 --> 01:32:34,620
Brother turned on brother.

1849
01:32:34,620 --> 01:32:38,580
Did anyone get so conflicted
they turned on themselves?

1850
01:32:38,580 --> 01:32:40,380
I don't think so.

1851
01:32:40,380 --> 01:32:44,740
There may have been some very strong
debates within individuals

1852
01:32:44,740 --> 01:32:46,220
of which side to join,

1853
01:32:46,220 --> 01:32:48,820
and I think that could be what
you're perhaps referencing.

1854
01:32:48,820 --> 01:32:52,980
How come people say it was the first
modern war, when you can see

1855
01:32:52,980 --> 01:32:55,420
from the photos it was ages ago?

1856
01:32:55,420 --> 01:32:57,580
Well, it's interesting you reference
the photos

1857
01:32:57,580 --> 01:33:00,860
because it's the first war that
photography really played a part.

1858
01:33:00,860 --> 01:33:03,620
It was something where photographs
were part of the conflict

1859
01:33:03,620 --> 01:33:05,740
and documenting the violence.

1860
01:33:05,740 --> 01:33:08,980
It must have been quite exciting
going to Snappy Snaps afterwards

1861
01:33:08,980 --> 01:33:12,180
and seeing which ones had turned out
and which ones hadn't.

1862
01:33:13,340 --> 01:33:17,900
After four long years of war-related
violence, the North came out on top,

1863
01:33:17,900 --> 01:33:19,820
which North is anyway.

1864
01:33:19,820 --> 01:33:23,500
It was a victory for the undisputed
King of the North -

1865
01:33:23,500 --> 01:33:25,740
Abraham Lincoln.

1866
01:33:25,740 --> 01:33:27,620
Who was Abraham Lincoln,

1867
01:33:27,620 --> 01:33:31,540
and why did he have all those weird
tattoos on his tummy?

1868
01:33:31,540 --> 01:33:34,380
I have no idea what you're referring
to with the tattoos,

1869
01:33:34,380 --> 01:33:39,660
but he is a US president, revered
as probably the best US president.

1870
01:33:39,660 --> 01:33:44,260
Apparently he had, like, a snowman
and a robin tattooed on his tummy,

1871
01:33:44,260 --> 01:33:46,500
and the robin had a moustache.

1872
01:33:48,180 --> 01:33:51,860
I genuinely have no idea
what you're referring to.

1873
01:33:51,860 --> 01:33:55,700
Now Lincoln was president,
at long last slavery was abolished

1874
01:33:55,700 --> 01:33:58,940
and replaced with simple
racial prejudice.

1875
01:33:58,940 --> 01:34:02,380
But Abraham Lincoln's story
didn't have a happy ending.

1876
01:34:02,380 --> 01:34:06,260
Five days after the North won,
a terrible fate befell him.

1877
01:34:06,260 --> 01:34:10,100
He was forced to go to the theatre
to watch a play.

1878
01:34:10,100 --> 01:34:13,020
He was put out of his misery
by a kindly gunman

1879
01:34:13,020 --> 01:34:15,980
but, cruelly, not until
the third act.

1880
01:34:15,980 --> 01:34:19,020
Abraham Lincoln was shot
in the theatre box, wasn't he?

1881
01:34:19,020 --> 01:34:20,940
Where is that on the body?

1882
01:34:20,940 --> 01:34:23,500
Oh, I think you're referring
to the physical location

1883
01:34:23,500 --> 01:34:24,980
he was in when he was shot,

1884
01:34:24,980 --> 01:34:28,380
which was in the presidential box
at Ford's Theatre in Washington, DC.

1885
01:34:28,380 --> 01:34:31,740
And why was he shot? Was it because
he wouldn't take his hat off?

1886
01:34:31,740 --> 01:34:34,060
Because that's quite annoying
in the theatre, isn't it,

1887
01:34:34,060 --> 01:34:35,900
when someone is in front
of you with a hat on?

1888
01:34:35,900 --> 01:34:38,300
Well, he was in the presidential
box, so there wasn't anyone

1889
01:34:38,300 --> 01:34:39,740
behind him, as far as I know.

1890
01:34:39,740 --> 01:34:42,220
But he was shot by a man named
John Wilkes Booth,

1891
01:34:42,220 --> 01:34:44,740
who was a believer in
the Confederacy.

1892
01:34:44,740 --> 01:34:50,340
How did being shot in the head
affect Lincoln's ability to lead?

1893
01:34:50,340 --> 01:34:53,980
Well, it ended it, because he died
about 12 hours after he was shot.

1894
01:34:53,980 --> 01:34:55,260
So, he couldn't carry on?

1895
01:34:55,260 --> 01:34:58,340
He couldn't, no. Not as
a corpse, unfortunately.

1896
01:34:58,340 --> 01:35:01,100
Lincoln's light may have been
snuffed out,

1897
01:35:01,100 --> 01:35:03,740
but America's was about to do
the opposite.

1898
01:35:03,740 --> 01:35:06,180
Americans had been toying
with electricity ever since

1899
01:35:06,180 --> 01:35:08,780
Benjamin Franklin put a key
on a kite string

1900
01:35:08,780 --> 01:35:11,260
to unlock lightning from the sky.

1901
01:35:11,260 --> 01:35:16,500
Then in 1878, Thomas Edison worked
out how to use that power

1902
01:35:16,500 --> 01:35:19,580
to make something extraordinary.

1903
01:35:19,580 --> 01:35:21,420
It's hard to imagine a world
where Edison

1904
01:35:21,420 --> 01:35:24,460
didn't invent the light bulb,
and even if you did imagine it,

1905
01:35:24,460 --> 01:35:26,900
it would be too dark to see
what was in it.

1906
01:35:26,900 --> 01:35:31,540
How did people see during the day
before Edison invented light?

1907
01:35:31,540 --> 01:35:33,540
Light comes from the sun,

1908
01:35:33,540 --> 01:35:36,820
so people could see during the day
because of the sun.

1909
01:35:36,820 --> 01:35:38,820
What they needed the light bulb for

1910
01:35:38,820 --> 01:35:41,300
was during the night,
when there isn't any sun

1911
01:35:41,300 --> 01:35:43,180
and when you can't see.

1912
01:35:43,180 --> 01:35:46,580
So, what did people use
before light bulbs?

1913
01:35:46,580 --> 01:35:49,420
Well, they used candles
or they used oil.

1914
01:35:49,420 --> 01:35:54,220
So, we had daylight during the day
and we had candles at night.

1915
01:35:54,220 --> 01:35:56,980
Yes. So, we didn't need light bulbs.

1916
01:35:56,980 --> 01:36:00,220
His life's work was meaningless.

1917
01:36:00,220 --> 01:36:04,300
Another of Edison's incredible
inventions was the phonograph.

1918
01:36:04,300 --> 01:36:06,180
SCRATCHY RECORDING PLAYS

1919
01:36:08,740 --> 01:36:12,740
# To my honey I'll croon love's tune

1920
01:36:14,180 --> 01:36:17,220
# Honeymoon

1921
01:36:17,220 --> 01:36:20,940
# Keep a-shining in June

1922
01:36:20,940 --> 01:36:23,340
# Your silv'ry beams... #

1923
01:36:23,340 --> 01:36:25,140
Can you make it stop?

1924
01:36:25,140 --> 01:36:27,020
Yes, of course.

1925
01:36:28,020 --> 01:36:31,020
It's incredible, isn't it,
that we're here now,

1926
01:36:31,020 --> 01:36:34,780
but that voice came from years ago?

1927
01:36:34,780 --> 01:36:39,580
If I speak into this trumpet bit,
can I ask the person a question

1928
01:36:39,580 --> 01:36:42,460
about what it's like where they are?

1929
01:36:42,460 --> 01:36:46,580
No, you can't, because the recording
was made over 100 years ago.

1930
01:36:46,580 --> 01:36:49,980
But it's a phonograph.
Doesn't it work like a phone?

1931
01:36:49,980 --> 01:36:56,220
Phonograph means
"sound writing" in Greek,

1932
01:36:56,220 --> 01:36:58,700
so it doesn't mean telephone.

1933
01:36:58,700 --> 01:37:01,620
So, they can hear us
but they can't reply.

1934
01:37:01,620 --> 01:37:03,860
Erm, I don't...
I wouldn't say they...

1935
01:37:03,860 --> 01:37:06,740
They can't hear us. We hear them.
We hear their recording.

1936
01:37:06,740 --> 01:37:09,700
They can't hear us and they can't
reply to us.

1937
01:37:09,700 --> 01:37:11,260
I would say they can't, no.

1938
01:37:11,260 --> 01:37:13,020
So, what's the point of it?

1939
01:37:13,020 --> 01:37:17,700
Well, it's so we can hear
music and voice and sounds.

1940
01:37:17,700 --> 01:37:21,500
So, can it record sounds
that haven't happened yet?

1941
01:37:21,500 --> 01:37:23,500
Erm...

1942
01:37:23,500 --> 01:37:28,300
..no. What about sounds that
happened earlier?

1943
01:37:28,300 --> 01:37:32,020
If those sounds were recorded
at the time.

1944
01:37:32,020 --> 01:37:35,220
It can't capture something that's
been in the past.

1945
01:37:35,220 --> 01:37:38,060
It seems quite limited,
to be honest.

1946
01:37:38,060 --> 01:37:40,780
Thanks to Edison's pornograph,

1947
01:37:40,780 --> 01:37:45,340
classical music could now bore
an audience of millions.

1948
01:37:45,340 --> 01:37:48,260
You have to play classical music
on an orchestra.

1949
01:37:48,260 --> 01:37:50,260
How do you play an orchestra?

1950
01:37:50,260 --> 01:37:51,660
Do you blow into it,

1951
01:37:51,660 --> 01:37:55,380
or is it one of those ones where
you rub a stick on the strings?

1952
01:37:55,380 --> 01:37:59,460
Yeah. So, the orchestra is not
one particular instrument.

1953
01:37:59,460 --> 01:38:03,900
Yeah. So, an orchestra is the coming
together of lots of different types

1954
01:38:03,900 --> 01:38:06,140
of instruments. Right.
More than one instrument.

1955
01:38:06,140 --> 01:38:07,420
More than one instrument.

1956
01:38:07,420 --> 01:38:11,460
So, you need both hands and
your mouth to play an orchestra?

1957
01:38:12,700 --> 01:38:17,300
Well, the conductor would need
all of those things...

1958
01:38:17,300 --> 01:38:21,980
Yeah. ..but the orchestra itself
is an entity that is made up of

1959
01:38:21,980 --> 01:38:23,620
lots of different instruments.

1960
01:38:23,620 --> 01:38:25,900
So, you couldn't blow
a whole orchestra?

1961
01:38:28,260 --> 01:38:31,420
Thanks to Edison, the worlds
of light and sound

1962
01:38:31,420 --> 01:38:32,940
had been beaten into submission,

1963
01:38:32,940 --> 01:38:35,980
but another frontier remained
stubbornly unconquered -

1964
01:38:35,980 --> 01:38:38,220
the world of sky.

1965
01:38:38,220 --> 01:38:41,700
People tried for years to build
flying machines,

1966
01:38:41,700 --> 01:38:44,900
but most early pioneers found
it hard to progress

1967
01:38:44,900 --> 01:38:48,300
beyond their first experimental
death plunge.

1968
01:38:48,300 --> 01:38:51,660
But all that changed when
Orville and Wilbur Wright brothers

1969
01:38:51,660 --> 01:38:53,820
mounted the first successful
legal challenge

1970
01:38:53,820 --> 01:38:56,060
against the law of gravity.

1971
01:38:56,060 --> 01:38:59,140
So, how far was the first flight?

1972
01:38:59,140 --> 01:39:02,420
Well, on that day when
the Wright brothers carried out

1973
01:39:02,420 --> 01:39:04,700
several flights, they were typically
of the order

1974
01:39:04,700 --> 01:39:06,980
of just a few hundred feet.

1975
01:39:06,980 --> 01:39:09,940
Well, they could have walked that.

1976
01:39:09,940 --> 01:39:13,060
Well, they could, but that wasn't
the point.

1977
01:39:13,060 --> 01:39:16,620
When was the first flight that was
long enough to need a toilet?

1978
01:39:16,620 --> 01:39:21,540
Once commercial flights developed,
those flights became longer distance

1979
01:39:21,540 --> 01:39:24,940
and the passengers would
have then needed some comforts,

1980
01:39:24,940 --> 01:39:27,020
like having a toilet on board.

1981
01:39:27,020 --> 01:39:28,660
That must have been a real moment,

1982
01:39:28,660 --> 01:39:32,460
the first time someone realised
a plane needed a toilet.

1983
01:39:32,460 --> 01:39:35,060
That's more impressive
than the Wright brothers.

1984
01:39:36,700 --> 01:39:40,780
I've never thought of that as
a particularly dramatic

1985
01:39:40,780 --> 01:39:43,820
or exciting development, I'm afraid.

1986
01:39:43,820 --> 01:39:46,060
Why don't bicycles have toilets?

1987
01:39:47,300 --> 01:39:50,540
You know, it would save you
having to get off.

1988
01:39:50,540 --> 01:39:53,180
I might write that down
and copyright it.

1989
01:39:53,180 --> 01:39:56,740
Even without a toilet,
the Wright brothers' historic flight

1990
01:39:56,740 --> 01:39:58,500
changed transportation forever,

1991
01:39:58,500 --> 01:40:00,980
in ways that still aren't
fully understood.

1992
01:40:00,980 --> 01:40:05,380
The Wright brothers did the first
proper flight over 100 years ago.

1993
01:40:05,380 --> 01:40:07,980
How come we're still not
any closer to working out

1994
01:40:07,980 --> 01:40:10,860
how aeroplanes actually work?

1995
01:40:10,860 --> 01:40:13,900
But we are. We know how
they work today.

1996
01:40:13,900 --> 01:40:16,540
But in reality, how do they work?

1997
01:40:16,540 --> 01:40:20,380
Well, it's... We have
mathematical equations

1998
01:40:20,380 --> 01:40:24,140
that describe the way the air flows
over the wings of the aircraft.

1999
01:40:24,140 --> 01:40:28,380
Can you explain how they work
without resorting to science?

2000
01:40:30,900 --> 01:40:34,300
It's difficult not to explain
the science behind it,

2001
01:40:34,300 --> 01:40:38,100
but because of the shape
of its wings,

2002
01:40:38,100 --> 01:40:40,900
the force upwards is bigger
than the force downwards

2003
01:40:40,900 --> 01:40:43,580
so that pushes the plane
up into the air.

2004
01:40:43,580 --> 01:40:47,180
That's your theory. Do you want to
hear my theory?

2005
01:40:47,180 --> 01:40:49,860
OK. I think they run on belief.

2006
01:40:49,860 --> 01:40:52,940
It's just because we believe
planes can fly that they do.

2007
01:40:52,940 --> 01:40:55,620
So, the media has to keep up
the pretence

2008
01:40:55,620 --> 01:40:58,220
or they're just going to start
dropping out of the sky.

2009
01:40:58,220 --> 01:41:01,020
Same with Wi-Fi. There's no way
that's real.

2010
01:41:01,020 --> 01:41:03,100
We just have to go along
with this pantomime

2011
01:41:03,100 --> 01:41:04,860
or everything grinds to a halt.

2012
01:41:06,140 --> 01:41:08,020
The sky had been tamed.

2013
01:41:08,020 --> 01:41:10,180
Next it was the roads' turn.

2014
01:41:11,820 --> 01:41:14,620
It's hard to say who invented
the first automobile.

2015
01:41:14,620 --> 01:41:16,500
Because so many people had a go,

2016
01:41:16,500 --> 01:41:19,580
the Wikipedia page is too long
to bother reading.

2017
01:41:19,580 --> 01:41:23,180
But luckily it doesn't matter,
because in the end only one man

2018
01:41:23,180 --> 01:41:25,820
became synonymous with cars -

2019
01:41:25,820 --> 01:41:29,060
the man who made the first
blockbuster automobile.

2020
01:41:29,060 --> 01:41:31,900
He was named Henry Model T Ford,

2021
01:41:31,900 --> 01:41:34,740
and in a stunning coincidence,
so was his car.

2022
01:41:34,740 --> 01:41:36,180
ROCK MUSIC PLAYS

2023
01:41:36,180 --> 01:41:39,020
With its four-cylinder,
2.9-litre engine

2024
01:41:39,020 --> 01:41:43,500
pumping out 20 horsepower
and a top speed of 45mph,

2025
01:41:43,500 --> 01:41:46,700
the Model T Ford was a truly
terrible car,

2026
01:41:46,700 --> 01:41:49,420
even worse than whatever it is
your mum drives.

2027
01:41:49,420 --> 01:41:51,300
ENGINE RUMBLES

2028
01:41:51,300 --> 01:41:53,220
There's nowhere to plug
in your phone,

2029
01:41:53,220 --> 01:41:56,060
no sat nav or music system.

2030
01:41:56,060 --> 01:41:58,500
It doesn't even have a cup holder.

2031
01:41:59,740 --> 01:42:02,820
Nonetheless, it was marginally
better than a horse,

2032
01:42:02,820 --> 01:42:05,460
because it didn't kick you in
the head if you went behind it.

2033
01:42:05,460 --> 01:42:08,460
And unlike on a train, you weren't
likely to find yourself

2034
01:42:08,460 --> 01:42:10,300
seated next to a psychopath.

2035
01:42:10,300 --> 01:42:12,300
Unless you stopped to pick
up a hitchhiker

2036
01:42:12,300 --> 01:42:14,540
with a screwdriver in their pocket.

2037
01:42:18,140 --> 01:42:22,300
But Henry Model T Ford's biggest
masterstroke wasn't his car itself,

2038
01:42:22,300 --> 01:42:24,700
but the way it was made.

2039
01:42:24,700 --> 01:42:27,980
Instead of employing one person
to slowly make a whole car

2040
01:42:27,980 --> 01:42:30,940
on their own, Ford employed
lots of people

2041
01:42:30,940 --> 01:42:34,740
to do just one tiny bit of
the car each, over and over again.

2042
01:42:34,740 --> 01:42:39,580
It was a revolution in workplace
tedium and human meaninglessness.

2043
01:42:39,580 --> 01:42:42,620
Mass production needed
a mass human workforce.

2044
01:42:42,620 --> 01:42:46,580
Millions flocked to the USA
for a go on the American dream.

2045
01:42:46,580 --> 01:42:50,660
The need for bigger vessels led
to the invention of the Titan 1C,

2046
01:42:50,660 --> 01:42:53,140
the world's first
single-use submarine.

2047
01:42:54,180 --> 01:42:56,660
For years, man had stared at
the ocean,

2048
01:42:56,660 --> 01:42:58,620
longing to sink like a stone,

2049
01:42:58,620 --> 01:43:02,860
and the Titan 1C would make
that dream come true.

2050
01:43:02,860 --> 01:43:05,340
It was a huge success.

2051
01:43:05,340 --> 01:43:09,660
On her maiden voyage, the Titan 1C
sailed straight from Southampton

2052
01:43:09,660 --> 01:43:11,220
to the bottom of the sea,

2053
01:43:11,220 --> 01:43:14,180
where the brave explorers could live
in the lap of luxury

2054
01:43:14,180 --> 01:43:16,540
for the few moments it took for them
to discover

2055
01:43:16,540 --> 01:43:19,540
that the atmosphere on the ocean
floor was nonbreathable.

2056
01:43:21,420 --> 01:43:24,500
Having conquered light, sound,
the sky, the road

2057
01:43:24,500 --> 01:43:26,060
and the bottom of the ocean,

2058
01:43:26,060 --> 01:43:28,300
humankind was about to
discover something

2059
01:43:28,300 --> 01:43:30,460
it hadn't even heard of before,

2060
01:43:30,460 --> 01:43:33,060
courtesy of female scientist
and woman

2061
01:43:33,060 --> 01:43:36,860
Mary Curry,
lady-father of radiation.

2062
01:43:36,860 --> 01:43:41,460
How did Marie Curie realise
that she'd discovered

2063
01:43:41,460 --> 01:43:44,540
radioactivity, if it's invisible?

2064
01:43:44,540 --> 01:43:48,420
Marie Curie invented
the word radioactivity.

2065
01:43:48,420 --> 01:43:53,860
And radioactivity is when substance
like radium, polonium, plutonium

2066
01:43:53,860 --> 01:43:56,780
gives off lots of energy
and disintegrate naturally.

2067
01:43:56,780 --> 01:44:00,540
So, it's a real thing,
even though it's invisible.

2068
01:44:00,540 --> 01:44:03,940
Lots of real things are
invisible, yes.

2069
01:44:03,940 --> 01:44:07,940
So, it's like chakras
and energy fields.

2070
01:44:07,940 --> 01:44:10,500
You know, like the ones you get on
the inside of your face

2071
01:44:10,500 --> 01:44:14,940
that connect to your star signs and
affect the way you digest gluten.

2072
01:44:14,940 --> 01:44:16,300
They're real, aren't they?

2073
01:44:16,300 --> 01:44:18,460
Well, I don't think that they
are real.

2074
01:44:18,460 --> 01:44:19,820
I think they are real.

2075
01:44:19,820 --> 01:44:23,940
Lots of... My Aunt Carol realigns
people's chakras.

2076
01:44:23,940 --> 01:44:25,780
She charges 80 quid an hour.

2077
01:44:25,780 --> 01:44:28,460
I think, if she was earning
that kind of money,

2078
01:44:28,460 --> 01:44:30,860
it's not nonsense, is it?

2079
01:44:30,860 --> 01:44:34,300
Tragically, Curie's curiosity
was fatal.

2080
01:44:34,300 --> 01:44:36,140
Long-term exposure to radiation

2081
01:44:36,140 --> 01:44:38,340
is thought to have contributed
to her death.

2082
01:44:39,700 --> 01:44:41,020
It's not fair, is it?

2083
01:44:41,020 --> 01:44:44,780
When a male scientist like
Bruce Banner gets exposed

2084
01:44:44,780 --> 01:44:49,700
to gamma radiation, he gets to be,
like, a superhero, doesn't he?

2085
01:44:49,700 --> 01:44:53,340
He gets his own comic book
and movie franchise.

2086
01:44:53,340 --> 01:44:55,420
Marie Curie just gets killed.

2087
01:44:55,420 --> 01:44:57,940
You know, he got to be the Hulk.

2088
01:44:57,940 --> 01:45:01,740
That's not fair, is it? You know,
is it the fault of the patriarchy?

2089
01:45:01,740 --> 01:45:05,820
Also, what is a patriarchy?

2090
01:45:05,820 --> 01:45:08,900
Meanwhile, other less
female scientists

2091
01:45:08,900 --> 01:45:11,060
were working on theories
of their own.

2092
01:45:11,060 --> 01:45:14,140
Physicist and professional
tongue model Albert Einstein

2093
01:45:14,140 --> 01:45:17,380
came up with his theory of
relativity - E equals McTwo -

2094
01:45:17,380 --> 01:45:19,620
which, to this day,
nobody understands,

2095
01:45:19,620 --> 01:45:21,580
and I'm only mentioning
it because it turns out

2096
01:45:21,580 --> 01:45:23,660
to be important later.

2097
01:45:23,660 --> 01:45:27,900
Einstein reckoned nothing is faster
than the speed of light.

2098
01:45:27,900 --> 01:45:29,900
But shadows go faster than light.

2099
01:45:29,900 --> 01:45:33,420
Like, if I shine a light from
a torch against that wall,

2100
01:45:33,420 --> 01:45:35,660
but I hold the torch behind my
head... Yeah.

2101
01:45:35,660 --> 01:45:38,700
..my shadow gets there before
the light does.

2102
01:45:38,700 --> 01:45:40,860
How would Einstein explain that?

2103
01:45:40,860 --> 01:45:44,940
I think he'd say that it's
all happening so quickly

2104
01:45:44,940 --> 01:45:46,660
that you can't see it properly.

2105
01:45:46,660 --> 01:45:49,500
He's always got an answer,
hasn't he?

2106
01:45:49,500 --> 01:45:52,020
The 20th century had got off
to a cracking start,

2107
01:45:52,020 --> 01:45:56,100
with science shitting out innovation
after innovation so quickly

2108
01:45:56,100 --> 01:45:58,020
we can barely edit them together.

2109
01:45:58,020 --> 01:46:00,540
But some of these new inventions
had a dark side.

2110
01:46:00,540 --> 01:46:02,660
They could be used to kill people,

2111
01:46:02,660 --> 01:46:04,660
and not in a good way.

2112
01:46:04,660 --> 01:46:08,460
The First World War was known
as the war to end all wars,

2113
01:46:08,460 --> 01:46:12,020
although some historians
now argue it didn't.

2114
01:46:12,020 --> 01:46:16,700
But it was the first high-tech war,
with aeroplanes, machine guns

2115
01:46:16,700 --> 01:46:21,380
and tanks all rising up to fight
the human beings that made them.

2116
01:46:21,380 --> 01:46:25,140
Despite having no beliefs
or ideology or hearts or souls,

2117
01:46:25,140 --> 01:46:27,300
the killing machines
were victorious.

2118
01:46:27,300 --> 01:46:32,620
The final score was
Weaponry 20 million, Mankind 0.

2119
01:46:32,620 --> 01:46:36,020
When humans go to war,
it always looks quite chaotic.

2120
01:46:36,020 --> 01:46:38,660
Is there a lot of shouting involved?

2121
01:46:38,660 --> 01:46:40,740
Well, there tends to be an awful
lot of shouting.

2122
01:46:40,740 --> 01:46:42,940
I mean, it can either be sort
of commands being shouted,

2123
01:46:42,940 --> 01:46:46,500
it could also be, you know,
the screams of people dying.

2124
01:46:46,500 --> 01:46:50,580
So, probably a risk of tinnitus
for anyone standing nearby.

2125
01:46:50,580 --> 01:46:53,260
It's a real pity we keep doing it.

2126
01:46:53,260 --> 01:46:56,100
I'm not trying to be controversial,

2127
01:46:56,100 --> 01:47:01,180
but generally speaking,
war does seem a bit of a shame.

2128
01:47:01,180 --> 01:47:05,420
Well, it does seem to be a
particularly popular human activity.

2129
01:47:05,420 --> 01:47:07,300
Mm. Maybe it's just in our nature.

2130
01:47:07,300 --> 01:47:10,780
What makes us, as creatures,
turn on each other like that?

2131
01:47:10,780 --> 01:47:14,140
And could you keep the answer
to one short sentence?

2132
01:47:14,140 --> 01:47:17,540
Because otherwise they get
really pissed off in the edit.

2133
01:47:17,540 --> 01:47:20,260
Fear, honour and interest.

2134
01:47:20,260 --> 01:47:22,300
Really? Those are the three...?

2135
01:47:22,300 --> 01:47:23,500
That's it in a nutshell.

2136
01:47:25,340 --> 01:47:26,500
Right.

2137
01:47:27,660 --> 01:47:30,140
I don't know who edits this,
but that's going to have to do.

2138
01:47:32,060 --> 01:47:35,900
The barbarism of World War I
inspired a wide range

2139
01:47:35,900 --> 01:47:39,060
of harrowing war poems
and pacifist literature,

2140
01:47:39,060 --> 01:47:43,100
published decades before the release
of unrelated Belgian techno anthem

2141
01:47:43,100 --> 01:47:45,060
Pump Up The Jam.

2142
01:47:59,860 --> 01:48:02,300
# Pump up the jam, pump it up

2143
01:48:02,300 --> 01:48:05,980
# While your feet are stompin'
And the jam is pumpin'

2144
01:48:05,980 --> 01:48:08,020
# Look ahead, the crowd is jumpin'

2145
01:48:08,020 --> 01:48:09,700
# Pump it up a little more

2146
01:48:09,700 --> 01:48:12,060
# Get the party
going on the dance floor

2147
01:48:12,060 --> 01:48:13,900
# See, cos that's where
the party's at

2148
01:48:13,900 --> 01:48:16,260
# And you'll find out if you do that

2149
01:48:16,260 --> 01:48:19,660
# I don't want a place to stay

2150
01:48:19,660 --> 01:48:22,180
# Get your booty on
the floor tonight

2151
01:48:22,180 --> 01:48:23,940
# Make my day

2152
01:48:23,940 --> 01:48:27,300
# I don't want a place to stay

2153
01:48:27,300 --> 01:48:29,820
# Get your booty on
the floor tonight

2154
01:48:29,820 --> 01:48:31,060
# Make my day... #

2155
01:48:31,060 --> 01:48:34,180
Millions of young men died
during the war, but fortunately,

2156
01:48:34,180 --> 01:48:36,860
humankind had discovered
a new kind of man -

2157
01:48:36,860 --> 01:48:38,220
the woman.

2158
01:48:38,220 --> 01:48:41,220
Women had always existed
in the background of history,

2159
01:48:41,220 --> 01:48:44,180
largely being used as human pets
for men,

2160
01:48:44,180 --> 01:48:47,700
tolerated for their magical
ability to excrete fresh humans

2161
01:48:47,700 --> 01:48:49,660
through their front holes.

2162
01:48:49,660 --> 01:48:53,380
But in the early 20th century,
social scientists discovered

2163
01:48:53,380 --> 01:48:54,940
something incredible -

2164
01:48:54,940 --> 01:48:57,220
that a woman could do anything
a man could do

2165
01:48:57,220 --> 01:49:00,380
without the need to talk about it.

2166
01:49:00,380 --> 01:49:02,020
They also got the vote.

2167
01:49:02,020 --> 01:49:06,100
Finally, women could choose which
man would tell them what to do.

2168
01:49:06,100 --> 01:49:09,380
Women began to escape
their traditional uniforms,

2169
01:49:09,380 --> 01:49:14,020
dressing less like haunted furniture
and more like camp young boys.

2170
01:49:14,020 --> 01:49:16,860
They drank, smoked and danced
at high speed,

2171
01:49:16,860 --> 01:49:19,460
at an appalling frame rate.

2172
01:49:19,460 --> 01:49:22,660
Meanwhile, in Hollywood, a whole
new kind of entertainment

2173
01:49:22,660 --> 01:49:25,740
was being invented - movies.

2174
01:49:25,740 --> 01:49:28,860
Unlike with a book,
you didn't have to concentrate

2175
01:49:28,860 --> 01:49:31,500
or use your imagination
to enjoy a movie.

2176
01:49:31,500 --> 01:49:35,580
Anyone, even very lazy or stupid
people, could enjoy themselves

2177
01:49:35,580 --> 01:49:38,820
by simply sitting down
and staring at a screen,

2178
01:49:38,820 --> 01:49:40,580
like you're doing now.

2179
01:49:40,580 --> 01:49:42,420
Nonetheless, early movies were

2180
01:49:42,420 --> 01:49:44,380
completely shit, as you can see.

2181
01:49:44,380 --> 01:49:45,900
But it's thanks to early films

2182
01:49:45,900 --> 01:49:47,740
like this that we can see what life

2183
01:49:47,740 --> 01:49:49,540
was really like in the olden days.

2184
01:49:49,540 --> 01:49:50,980
Everyone moved very quickly

2185
01:49:50,980 --> 01:49:53,180
and fell over a lot.

2186
01:49:53,180 --> 01:49:55,940
Why do people in old films
move so fast?

2187
01:49:55,940 --> 01:49:59,540
Is it because it was their first
time on camera so they were nervous,

2188
01:49:59,540 --> 01:50:02,540
or because it was a silent film
so they couldn't hear the director

2189
01:50:02,540 --> 01:50:04,740
yelling at them to slow down?

2190
01:50:04,740 --> 01:50:09,700
It's to do with the frame rate
of the cameras

2191
01:50:09,700 --> 01:50:12,100
So, it's our fault. We're playing it
back too fast

2192
01:50:12,100 --> 01:50:14,540
and the actors are having
to speed up to make sure

2193
01:50:14,540 --> 01:50:17,220
they can get all the story in before
the end credits.

2194
01:50:17,220 --> 01:50:20,780
They must be panicking. What happens
if they can't keep up?

2195
01:50:20,780 --> 01:50:23,700
Would the film cut to a room
the actors aren't in yet?

2196
01:50:23,700 --> 01:50:25,940
Just footage of an empty room.

2197
01:50:25,940 --> 01:50:29,340
The actors are going at a regular
speed. It's just...

2198
01:50:29,340 --> 01:50:32,180
It's just the speed of the playback
that makes them look like

2199
01:50:32,180 --> 01:50:34,060
they're moving very quickly. Oh.

2200
01:50:34,060 --> 01:50:36,540
Could we communicate with the actors
in the film

2201
01:50:36,540 --> 01:50:39,740
and tell them that it's all right,
that they can calm down?

2202
01:50:39,740 --> 01:50:42,340
No, they'd all be dead by now.

2203
01:50:42,340 --> 01:50:43,620
Oh.

2204
01:50:43,620 --> 01:50:46,780
Early films had subtitles so people
could still watch them

2205
01:50:46,780 --> 01:50:48,700
on their phones with the sound off,

2206
01:50:48,700 --> 01:50:52,700
but before too long they figured out
how to do sounds too.

2207
01:50:52,700 --> 01:50:56,500
What was more satisfactory to you?

2208
01:50:56,500 --> 01:50:58,620
Reading was redundant at last.

2209
01:50:58,620 --> 01:51:01,220
The written word's
centuries-long era of tyranny

2210
01:51:01,220 --> 01:51:03,700
was finally at an end.

2211
01:51:03,700 --> 01:51:06,140
But any sense humankind
was embarking on

2212
01:51:06,140 --> 01:51:10,420
a hopeful new era was about
to be shat through a binbag.

2213
01:51:10,420 --> 01:51:12,940
Dark clouds were gathering
over Europe,

2214
01:51:12,940 --> 01:51:16,460
with a reboot of the World War
franchise about to be unleashed.

2215
01:51:17,860 --> 01:51:21,780
Soon, the world was plunged
into another global war.

2216
01:51:21,780 --> 01:51:24,660
And since this war ran on
even more terrible machinery

2217
01:51:24,660 --> 01:51:27,260
than the previous one,
it seemed there would be no end

2218
01:51:27,260 --> 01:51:29,140
to the carnage.

2219
01:51:29,140 --> 01:51:31,900
Then the Americans had an idea.

2220
01:51:31,900 --> 01:51:34,540
Instead of dropping thousands
of little bombs on Japan,

2221
01:51:34,540 --> 01:51:36,180
like they did to Germany,

2222
01:51:36,180 --> 01:51:39,060
what if they dropped just one
big one?

2223
01:51:39,060 --> 01:51:42,940
Using Einstein's theories,
which I cleverly mentioned earlier,

2224
01:51:42,940 --> 01:51:46,180
they began the Manhattan Project,
run by men with hats on,

2225
01:51:46,180 --> 01:51:48,180
who came up with
something fearsome -

2226
01:51:48,180 --> 01:51:51,060
an atomic bomb called Little Boy,

2227
01:51:51,060 --> 01:51:55,220
the most powerful and inaccurately
named weapon ever used.

2228
01:51:55,220 --> 01:51:57,540
How powerful was Little Boy?

2229
01:51:57,540 --> 01:52:00,180
Put it this way - if that bomb had
been dropped on

2230
01:52:00,180 --> 01:52:03,020
my ex-boyfriend Sean's house
in Westhoughton,

2231
01:52:03,020 --> 01:52:06,460
everything from the Chequerbent
roundabout on the A58

2232
01:52:06,460 --> 01:52:09,100
to the florist next to
the Hart Common Golf Club

2233
01:52:09,100 --> 01:52:11,540
would have been totally destroyed.

2234
01:52:11,540 --> 01:52:14,020
The initial blast would
have vaporised Sean,

2235
01:52:14,020 --> 01:52:17,060
while the vintage Pac-Man arcade
cabinet he once spent

2236
01:52:17,060 --> 01:52:19,380
my entire birthday weekend restoring

2237
01:52:19,380 --> 01:52:21,900
would have almost certainly been
rendered unplayable

2238
01:52:21,900 --> 01:52:24,380
by the raging firestorm
that followed.

2239
01:52:24,380 --> 01:52:27,580
Everything from Wigan to Bolton
would be burnt to a crisp.

2240
01:52:27,580 --> 01:52:29,500
I'm talking Middlebrook - gone.

2241
01:52:29,500 --> 01:52:31,020
Bickershaw - gone.

2242
01:52:31,020 --> 01:52:33,780
Hindley Green? Forget it.

2243
01:52:33,780 --> 01:52:37,940
The unspeakable horror of
the atomic bomb ended World War II.

2244
01:52:37,940 --> 01:52:40,980
Everyone had had enough,
and the world agreed

2245
01:52:40,980 --> 01:52:43,820
for the second time in this episode
to never have a war again,

2246
01:52:43,820 --> 01:52:45,700
a promise it wouldn't break

2247
01:52:45,700 --> 01:52:49,540
for a full 52 seconds
into episode five.

2248
01:52:49,540 --> 01:52:51,780
It's comforting, isn't it,
to realise

2249
01:52:51,780 --> 01:52:54,700
we don't have nuclear
weapons these days?

2250
01:52:54,700 --> 01:52:57,860
Well, it depends who you
mean by "we".

2251
01:52:57,860 --> 01:53:01,340
The British have got nuclear weapons
and have recently indeed decided

2252
01:53:01,340 --> 01:53:05,660
to increase their...the number of
warheads that they possess.

2253
01:53:05,660 --> 01:53:09,580
Yeah, but they're blanks, aren't
they? They're full of blanks.

2254
01:53:09,580 --> 01:53:13,340
No, not at all. No, no. These are
fully capable missile systems

2255
01:53:13,340 --> 01:53:17,380
with nuclear warheads.
Many other states have them.

2256
01:53:17,380 --> 01:53:20,380
I'm afraid that nuclear war and
the threat of nuclear destruction

2257
01:53:20,380 --> 01:53:21,820
remains very much with us.

2258
01:53:31,700 --> 01:53:34,780
All right. Can we talk about
something a bit more cheerful?

2259
01:53:34,780 --> 01:53:36,420
Anything you like.

2260
01:53:39,700 --> 01:53:41,180
Do you like Abba?

2261
01:53:41,180 --> 01:53:42,500
I love Abba.

2262
01:53:42,500 --> 01:53:44,180
Yeah. Yeah? Yeah.

2263
01:53:44,180 --> 01:53:45,820
What's your favourite Abba song?

2264
01:53:45,820 --> 01:53:47,820
Dancing Queen. Dancing Queen, yeah.

2265
01:53:49,260 --> 01:53:51,180
Yeah, it's great, isn't it?

2266
01:53:52,340 --> 01:53:55,940
Next time, we see how a Cold War
between East and West

2267
01:53:55,940 --> 01:53:57,900
paved the way for rock and roll,

2268
01:53:57,900 --> 01:54:00,140
which paved the way for
countercultural hippies,

2269
01:54:00,140 --> 01:54:03,020
who paved the way for Steve Jobs
to pave the way for computers

2270
01:54:03,020 --> 01:54:06,180
and smartphones, which paved
the way for social media,

2271
01:54:06,180 --> 01:54:08,940
which would pave the way for undoing
all the progress

2272
01:54:08,940 --> 01:54:11,900
humankind had made so far.

2273
01:54:11,900 --> 01:54:15,060
Social media has been polarising
people, hasn't it?

2274
01:54:15,060 --> 01:54:17,260
Like what's already happened
to the bears.

2275
01:54:17,260 --> 01:54:18,660
What bears?

2276
01:54:18,660 --> 01:54:20,300
Polar bears.

2277
01:54:47,320 --> 01:54:51,800
Last time, in 29 informative yet
accessible minutes, we saw how a

2278
01:54:51,800 --> 01:54:55,040
string of breakthroughs led
humankind to build the modern world

2279
01:54:55,040 --> 01:54:57,900
and create a weapon powerful
enough to turn it all to

2280
01:54:57,900 --> 01:55:01,800
white-hot, boiling shit.
But that was only part of the story.

2281
01:55:01,800 --> 01:55:04,360
The part after that starts now.

2282
01:55:04,360 --> 01:55:06,220
It's 1945.

2283
01:55:06,220 --> 01:55:08,060
The atomic bomb's just gone off.

2284
01:55:08,060 --> 01:55:10,300
The world lies in ruins.

2285
01:55:10,300 --> 01:55:12,980
Cloning of Hitler has already begun.

2286
01:55:12,980 --> 01:55:15,020
The future looked uncertain,

2287
01:55:15,020 --> 01:55:19,300
and it was getting closer every
minute, like it always does.

2288
01:55:19,300 --> 01:55:21,900
But this was going to be a future
unlike any the world

2289
01:55:21,900 --> 01:55:23,140
had seen before -

2290
01:55:23,140 --> 01:55:25,140
a future of moon men and rock stars,

2291
01:55:25,140 --> 01:55:27,020
big business and free love,

2292
01:55:27,020 --> 01:55:28,820
computers and the internet.

2293
01:55:28,820 --> 01:55:32,060
And a killer robot sent through time
to kill Sarah Connor.

2294
01:55:32,060 --> 01:55:34,340
Although that bit was just
in a film.

2295
01:55:34,340 --> 01:55:38,780
Modern civilisation had arrived,
but a clash of worldviews meant

2296
01:55:38,780 --> 01:55:41,740
that the threat of all-out
conflict was never far away.

2297
01:55:41,740 --> 01:55:44,980
Could new forms of mass
communication help us all to

2298
01:55:44,980 --> 01:55:47,140
get along or totally not do that?

2299
01:55:47,140 --> 01:55:50,540
Should there be two social medias?
You know, one for people who are

2300
01:55:50,540 --> 01:55:52,780
right, and one
for people who are wrong?

2301
01:55:52,780 --> 01:55:55,380
I mean, I know a lot of people
I'd put on the wrong one.

2302
01:55:55,380 --> 01:55:56,860
Wankers.

2303
01:55:56,860 --> 01:56:01,460
So join me now in the last part
of human existence as I find out

2304
01:56:01,460 --> 01:56:04,860
how we got where I am now
and where we'll be tomorrow,

2305
01:56:04,860 --> 01:56:08,220
which at the time of filming
is Wednesday.

2306
01:56:08,220 --> 01:56:12,740
Whenever the future arrives, it'll
happen here, on a fragile bauble

2307
01:56:12,740 --> 01:56:14,700
I've come to know as Earth.

2308
01:56:16,340 --> 01:56:18,540
But my hair looks fucking shit.

2309
01:56:32,100 --> 01:56:35,260
Russia, a vast land to the east.

2310
01:56:35,260 --> 01:56:38,020
It's the first time we've mentioned
it in this series,

2311
01:56:38,020 --> 01:56:40,260
but it's been there all along.

2312
01:56:41,660 --> 01:56:45,220
At the start of the 20th century,
Russia was a vast empire,

2313
01:56:45,220 --> 01:56:49,260
just like the
Marvel Cinematic Universe is today.

2314
01:56:49,260 --> 01:56:53,100
The average Russian was a pheasant,
but he dreamt of being a man,

2315
01:56:53,100 --> 01:56:56,780
preferably a wealthy one,
because while the Russian pheasants

2316
01:56:56,780 --> 01:57:01,260
lived in poverty, the rich
lived in St Petersburg.

2317
01:57:01,260 --> 01:57:03,820
The top Russian was called
t'Sar Nicholas,

2318
01:57:03,820 --> 01:57:06,420
which is Russian for
t'King Nicholas.

2319
01:57:06,420 --> 01:57:09,180
He was allowed to rule the country
like a dictator,

2320
01:57:09,180 --> 01:57:13,220
which I've been advised to say isn't
how Russia works today.

2321
01:57:13,220 --> 01:57:16,900
A world like this, where the
masses toil for pennies

2322
01:57:16,900 --> 01:57:21,380
while a tiny elite grow rich,
seems so obviously unfair and

2323
01:57:21,380 --> 01:57:23,420
unthinkable to us today.

2324
01:57:23,420 --> 01:57:26,900
We can scarcely imagine
what it must have been like.

2325
01:57:26,900 --> 01:57:29,460
One man who thought it was
ein load of scheisse

2326
01:57:29,460 --> 01:57:31,700
was German thinker Karl Marx.

2327
01:57:31,700 --> 01:57:34,900
It's hard to tell, but if you look
closely at this photograph,

2328
01:57:34,900 --> 01:57:37,820
you might notice he had a beard.

2329
01:57:37,820 --> 01:57:41,100
Marx also had a vision
which he wrote down in a book called

2330
01:57:41,100 --> 01:57:42,980
The Commonist Maninfesto.

2331
01:57:42,980 --> 01:57:46,060
Today, it's one of those books that
boffins talk about but no-one

2332
01:57:46,060 --> 01:57:48,580
actually reads, like all books.

2333
01:57:48,580 --> 01:57:52,420
But back then it was a hit,
particularly popular amongst the

2334
01:57:52,420 --> 01:57:56,580
18-to-35 anti-capitalist
revolutionary demographic.

2335
01:57:56,580 --> 01:57:59,740
One Russian who read the book
was the man currently starring

2336
01:57:59,740 --> 01:58:02,980
in this photograph,
Vladimir Ilyich John Lennon.

2337
01:58:02,980 --> 01:58:05,740
Lennon imagined a world with no
possessions.

2338
01:58:05,740 --> 01:58:07,300
I wonder if you can.

2339
01:58:07,300 --> 01:58:11,060
Nothing to kill or die for,
a brotherhood of man.

2340
01:58:11,060 --> 01:58:15,140
And he chose to bring it about
with a violent uprising.

2341
01:58:15,140 --> 01:58:17,180
In 1917, he got his chance.

2342
01:58:18,260 --> 01:58:19,860
Thanks to food shortages,

2343
01:58:19,860 --> 01:58:23,700
people started rioting for bread,
like ducks do.

2344
01:58:23,700 --> 01:58:27,420
Lennon and his followers hacked
into the Winter Palace and uploaded

2345
01:58:27,420 --> 01:58:29,620
a communist government.

2346
01:58:29,620 --> 01:58:32,140
Russia changed its name to Usser,

2347
01:58:32,140 --> 01:58:35,220
or sometimes Ccccccccpp!

2348
01:58:35,220 --> 01:58:37,740
What was the Soviet Onion?

2349
01:58:37,740 --> 01:58:40,380
Well, I think you're labouring
under a misapprehension

2350
01:58:40,380 --> 01:58:42,500
and you probably mean
the Soviet Union.

2351
01:58:42,500 --> 01:58:45,460
No, it's Onion. I saw it
on a bit of paper earlier.

2352
01:58:45,460 --> 01:58:48,500
Well, it's probably been misspelt
or you can't read very well,

2353
01:58:48,500 --> 01:58:51,740
but I think that you mean in
historical terms the Soviet Union,

2354
01:58:51,740 --> 01:58:54,740
or the Union of Soviet
Socialist Republics.

2355
01:58:54,740 --> 01:58:57,820
Well, I don't want to be rude, but I
think you're mansplaining a bit.

2356
01:58:57,820 --> 01:59:00,900
Can we stick to the topic
of the Soviet Onion, please? OK.

2357
01:59:00,900 --> 01:59:02,700
What exactly was it?

2358
01:59:02,700 --> 01:59:05,940
If you don't know, it's OK to say.
You know, I won't judge you.

2359
01:59:05,940 --> 01:59:09,420
Well, if you want to talk
about, sort of,

2360
01:59:09,420 --> 01:59:12,060
Russian Soviet vegetables, we can.

2361
01:59:12,060 --> 01:59:14,380
I mean, it was a deeply
agrarian country.

2362
01:59:14,380 --> 01:59:17,420
And so there were lots of onions,
lots of potatoes,

2363
01:59:17,420 --> 01:59:21,020
lots of other things.
Did they have turnips? I think so.

2364
01:59:21,020 --> 01:59:24,660
Cheap, easy to grow, hardy -
great in a stew.

2365
01:59:24,660 --> 01:59:27,780
So how come you know so much
about vegetables?

2366
01:59:27,780 --> 01:59:30,540
Have you got an allotment?

2367
01:59:30,540 --> 01:59:34,820
In 1924, Lennon left the band
to concentrate on existing only

2368
01:59:34,820 --> 01:59:36,820
in an afterlife he didn't
believe in.

2369
01:59:36,820 --> 01:59:40,580
Lennon's place was taken
by Joseph Stalin, who presided

2370
01:59:40,580 --> 01:59:43,900
over a ruthless crackdown
that killed, starved or exiled

2371
01:59:43,900 --> 01:59:45,180
millions of people.

2372
01:59:45,180 --> 01:59:48,180
Although, on the plus side,
he had a friendly moustache.

2373
01:59:51,700 --> 01:59:55,620
Communism and capitalism are natural
enemies, like men and women,

2374
01:59:55,620 --> 01:59:57,300
and cats and dogs.

2375
01:59:57,300 --> 02:00:00,420
But Russia and America had put
aside their differences, thanks

2376
02:00:00,420 --> 02:00:04,460
to a mutual interest in winning
the Second World War.

2377
02:00:04,460 --> 02:00:09,460
The end of WWII led to loads
of celebrations in black-and-white

2378
02:00:09,460 --> 02:00:13,180
as people put years of conflict
and misery behind them.

2379
02:00:13,180 --> 02:00:18,660
But behind these outdated-looking
celebrations, trouble was brewing.

2380
02:00:18,660 --> 02:00:21,540
Now they'd run out of baddies
to blow up or shoot,

2381
02:00:21,540 --> 02:00:24,300
East and West grew suspicious
of each other.

2382
02:00:24,300 --> 02:00:26,940
It was the beginning of a whole
new conflict -

2383
02:00:26,940 --> 02:00:29,620
World War Cold.

2384
02:00:29,620 --> 02:00:32,540
The Cold War is quite complicated,
isn't it?

2385
02:00:32,540 --> 02:00:35,500
Should we definitely bother
mentioning it in this,

2386
02:00:35,500 --> 02:00:38,660
or could we just give it a miss?

2387
02:00:38,660 --> 02:00:41,580
It defines most of the second half
of the 20th century, so I think

2388
02:00:41,580 --> 02:00:43,020
you should probably include it.

2389
02:00:43,020 --> 02:00:45,300
Oh, right, OK.

2390
02:00:45,300 --> 02:00:48,860
As the Soviet Union expanded,
the animosity between

2391
02:00:48,860 --> 02:00:50,580
East and West deepened.

2392
02:00:50,580 --> 02:00:53,220
The division was symbolised
by the construction

2393
02:00:53,220 --> 02:00:57,380
of the Berlin Wall, a sort
of divorce made of bricks.

2394
02:00:57,380 --> 02:01:01,140
There was a terrible atmosphere
of mistrust, like I had with my ex

2395
02:01:01,140 --> 02:01:03,980
when I saw he had 28 missed calls
from a contact he'd labelled

2396
02:01:03,980 --> 02:01:06,420
"Claudia Tits" on his phone.

2397
02:01:06,420 --> 02:01:08,860
He claims she was just a rep
from Fitness First

2398
02:01:08,860 --> 02:01:10,660
and that that was her real name.

2399
02:01:10,660 --> 02:01:11,940
Well, I'm sorry, Sean.

2400
02:01:11,940 --> 02:01:14,260
I didn't buy it then,
and I don't buy it now.

2401
02:01:14,260 --> 02:01:16,860
I hope your mum's well.

2402
02:01:16,860 --> 02:01:20,020
Soon there was so much paranoia
between East and West,

2403
02:01:20,020 --> 02:01:23,980
they started spying on each other,
stockpiled nuclear weapons

2404
02:01:23,980 --> 02:01:26,940
and fought a series of proxy wars.

2405
02:01:26,940 --> 02:01:31,140
So Russia and America had proxy wars
where they'd use other countries

2406
02:01:31,140 --> 02:01:32,820
to fight with.

2407
02:01:32,820 --> 02:01:36,060
Is that a bit like picking
a character to do your fighting

2408
02:01:36,060 --> 02:01:38,020
with in Street Fighter II?

2409
02:01:38,020 --> 02:01:42,180
Well, I think throughout human
history, there's been a tendency to

2410
02:01:42,180 --> 02:01:46,020
try and use other forces,
fighters from other lands

2411
02:01:46,020 --> 02:01:48,580
to help do the fighting. Right.

2412
02:01:48,580 --> 02:01:51,460
So exactly like Street Fighter,
then.

2413
02:01:51,460 --> 02:01:53,780
If this was Street Fighter II

2414
02:01:53,780 --> 02:01:57,300
and the Americans chose the
character Ken, would the Russians

2415
02:01:57,300 --> 02:02:00,460
pick Zangief because he's from
the Soviet Union?

2416
02:02:00,460 --> 02:02:03,300
Or would they go for someone
like Dhalsim?

2417
02:02:03,300 --> 02:02:06,500
Obviously he'd be a better choice
because he can dive-kick

2418
02:02:06,500 --> 02:02:08,060
over Ken's fireballs.

2419
02:02:09,220 --> 02:02:12,180
Well, I don't know. I mean, you'd
have to ask, I think President Putin

2420
02:02:12,180 --> 02:02:15,300
for the definitive answer on that.

2421
02:02:15,300 --> 02:02:18,660
I suppose they'd go for the ones
that had the most chance

2422
02:02:18,660 --> 02:02:21,300
of beating Ken.

2423
02:02:21,300 --> 02:02:24,980
Meanwhile, East and West were also
competing to be the first

2424
02:02:24,980 --> 02:02:27,220
to explore the stars.

2425
02:02:27,220 --> 02:02:29,500
The rivalry became known
as the Space Race

2426
02:02:29,500 --> 02:02:32,140
because that rhymes, although
probably not in Russian.

2427
02:02:32,140 --> 02:02:34,780
We don't know what they called it,
and to be honest, we probably

2428
02:02:34,780 --> 02:02:37,900
should have found
out before recording this bit.

2429
02:02:37,900 --> 02:02:40,660
The first launches were
considered complete disasters

2430
02:02:40,660 --> 02:02:43,500
at the time, but we now know
they make for soothing viewing

2431
02:02:43,500 --> 02:02:45,820
when cut to light jazz.

2432
02:02:45,820 --> 02:02:49,380
LIGHT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS

2433
02:02:57,740 --> 02:03:01,500
ARCHIVE: Today, a new moon is in the
sky, a 23-inch metal sphere placed

2434
02:03:01,500 --> 02:03:03,220
in orbit by a Russian rocket.

2435
02:03:03,220 --> 02:03:07,260
Finally, in 1957, the Russians
became the first to pull off a

2436
02:03:07,260 --> 02:03:08,700
successful launch.

2437
02:03:08,700 --> 02:03:12,020
Why did the Russians launch
Spunk into orbit?

2438
02:03:12,020 --> 02:03:14,580
Well, first of all, when
you're looking at Russian words,

2439
02:03:14,580 --> 02:03:17,820
the name of the world's first
satellite was Sputnik 1,

2440
02:03:17,820 --> 02:03:20,420
and the Russians launched...
Is that Russian for "Spunk"?

2441
02:03:20,420 --> 02:03:23,540
No, it's Russian for "Traveller".

2442
02:03:23,540 --> 02:03:25,580
I suppose spunk in orbit
would just sort of float

2443
02:03:25,580 --> 02:03:28,980
around in globules, like it does
in a bath. Sorry.

2444
02:03:28,980 --> 02:03:31,580
Should I change the subject?

2445
02:03:31,580 --> 02:03:35,100
Hot on Sputnik's heels was this
Soviet space dog,

2446
02:03:35,100 --> 02:03:40,580
known on Earth as Laika, who blasted
into space in November 1957.

2447
02:03:40,580 --> 02:03:42,220
What happened to Laika?

2448
02:03:42,220 --> 02:03:45,700
I expect they gave her a bone and a
rub on the tummy when she got back.

2449
02:03:45,700 --> 02:03:48,780
Well, Laika, unfortunately,
never made it back to Earth

2450
02:03:48,780 --> 02:03:52,580
because shortly after launching,
she overheated and she tragically

2451
02:03:52,580 --> 02:03:54,820
passed away just a few hours
after being launched.

2452
02:03:54,820 --> 02:03:56,660
You're fucking joking!

2453
02:03:56,660 --> 02:03:59,660
I wish I was. No, this was...
She was launched on

2454
02:03:59,660 --> 02:04:01,540
a flight that was
pretty much one-way.

2455
02:04:01,540 --> 02:04:03,740
There's a dead dog in space?!

2456
02:04:03,740 --> 02:04:07,620
So there's a dead dog somewhere in
the back of a frame of every film

2457
02:04:07,620 --> 02:04:09,860
shot in space, like Star Wars?

2458
02:04:09,860 --> 02:04:12,660
I wouldn't say...
There are dead dogs in Star Wars?!

2459
02:04:12,660 --> 02:04:14,660
Uh... That is unacceptable!

2460
02:04:14,660 --> 02:04:18,940
Well, Laika's satellite eventually
burned up in the Earth's atmosphere,

2461
02:04:18,940 --> 02:04:20,860
but this was well after
she'd passed away.

2462
02:04:20,860 --> 02:04:23,860
As I say, it was just a few hours
after launch

2463
02:04:23,860 --> 02:04:26,660
that she died, I think, of heat
stress. Sorry, can we just

2464
02:04:26,660 --> 02:04:29,100
have a minute's silence for Laika?

2465
02:04:39,900 --> 02:04:41,100
OK.

2466
02:04:43,740 --> 02:04:46,580
SHE EXHALES

2467
02:04:47,940 --> 02:04:50,260
There's a dead dog in space.

2468
02:04:50,260 --> 02:04:53,940
Away from the Space Race,
everyday Russians often had

2469
02:04:53,940 --> 02:04:56,980
hard lives,
while Americans, in contrast,

2470
02:04:56,980 --> 02:05:00,500
appeared to enjoy a life of
carefree luxury and hats.

2471
02:05:00,500 --> 02:05:02,060
Was the 1950s real?

2472
02:05:03,700 --> 02:05:06,540
Yes, it was certainly real.
Are we sure?

2473
02:05:06,540 --> 02:05:09,660
Because it looks like it was
made up when you see it.

2474
02:05:09,660 --> 02:05:14,060
It's all men in hats, and housewives
smiling in kitchens.

2475
02:05:14,060 --> 02:05:18,300
Were those people real and was
all that really happening?

2476
02:05:18,300 --> 02:05:21,500
Well, a lot of that is
what you see in advertising.

2477
02:05:21,500 --> 02:05:24,060
ARCHIVE: The '55 Chevrolet is lower,

2478
02:05:24,060 --> 02:05:26,620
lighter and longer-looking.

2479
02:05:26,620 --> 02:05:29,460
The most popular drama on
1950s television

2480
02:05:29,460 --> 02:05:31,500
was a show called Adverts.

2481
02:05:31,500 --> 02:05:34,780
Adverts told the story of a man
or woman who wanted a thing

2482
02:05:34,780 --> 02:05:37,420
and then bought it
and then was happy -

2483
02:05:37,420 --> 02:05:41,220
the first-ever example of a
three-act narrative structure.

2484
02:05:41,220 --> 02:05:43,980
Why, that's amazing! Right.

2485
02:05:43,980 --> 02:05:46,060
Adverts was so influential

2486
02:05:46,060 --> 02:05:47,300
it made viewers at home

2487
02:05:47,300 --> 02:05:48,740
want to be the sort of person

2488
02:05:48,740 --> 02:05:50,700
who bought things too.

2489
02:05:50,700 --> 02:05:52,980
They'd work hard
to get money to buy a car

2490
02:05:52,980 --> 02:05:54,740
so they could drive to the shops

2491
02:05:54,740 --> 02:05:57,300
and buy more things,
which they'd have to pay

2492
02:05:57,300 --> 02:06:00,340
for by going back to work,
which made them miserable.

2493
02:06:00,340 --> 02:06:03,940
So they'd cheer themselves up
by going out and buying more things

2494
02:06:03,940 --> 02:06:06,340
which they'd have to work
to pay for.

2495
02:06:06,340 --> 02:06:08,460
Why, that's amazing! Right.

2496
02:06:08,460 --> 02:06:11,700
The only time they weren't working
or buying was when they were

2497
02:06:11,700 --> 02:06:14,780
watching TV, and it was on these
airwaves that a new kind

2498
02:06:14,780 --> 02:06:17,340
of culture was born -
popular culture.

2499
02:06:17,340 --> 02:06:21,220
Unlike normal culture, which was
paintings and Beethoven, this was

2500
02:06:21,220 --> 02:06:24,100
stuff people actually enjoyed.

2501
02:06:24,100 --> 02:06:27,860
For decades, pioneering black
artists had steadily built on each

2502
02:06:27,860 --> 02:06:31,700
other's work to develop an exciting
new musical form for white people

2503
02:06:31,700 --> 02:06:33,460
to pass off as their own.

2504
02:06:33,460 --> 02:06:37,900
Why do people say Elvis Presley
appropriated white music?

2505
02:06:37,900 --> 02:06:39,420
They don't say that.

2506
02:06:39,420 --> 02:06:43,180
What they do say is that
he appropriated black music.

2507
02:06:43,180 --> 02:06:48,540
He was...he was a white man that
sang music of black origin.

2508
02:06:48,540 --> 02:06:51,380
Did he have to apologise
on social media?

2509
02:06:51,380 --> 02:06:53,940
No, because there was no
social media then.

2510
02:06:53,940 --> 02:06:56,100
Why doesn't Elvis apologise now?

2511
02:06:56,100 --> 02:06:57,820
Because Elvis is dead.

2512
02:06:57,820 --> 02:07:01,340
So he's appropriated dead
people's lifestyles now?

2513
02:07:01,340 --> 02:07:03,300
What a fucking thief!

2514
02:07:03,300 --> 02:07:07,140
Having overcome childhood poverty
and a hip impediment, Elvis

2515
02:07:07,140 --> 02:07:10,740
benefited from mass media,
which broadcast him to an audience

2516
02:07:10,740 --> 02:07:13,140
of millions in sanitised form.

2517
02:07:13,140 --> 02:07:17,780
Why was it so dangerous to show
Elvis from the waist down?

2518
02:07:17,780 --> 02:07:21,940
Was he naked underneath,
like a pervert on a Zoom call?

2519
02:07:21,940 --> 02:07:23,340
He wasn't naked.

2520
02:07:23,340 --> 02:07:26,660
He moved his hips around a lot in
a...in a very, sort of,

2521
02:07:26,660 --> 02:07:28,780
sexual manner,

2522
02:07:28,780 --> 02:07:32,380
and there was a lot of anxiety
that young women

2523
02:07:32,380 --> 02:07:36,380
might be...might be a little bit
too turned on by Elvis.

2524
02:07:36,380 --> 02:07:38,860
People were prudish back
then, weren't they?

2525
02:07:38,860 --> 02:07:40,860
If they saw his penis,
they'd probably

2526
02:07:40,860 --> 02:07:42,700
have a stroke, wouldn't they?

2527
02:07:42,700 --> 02:07:46,220
Probably. I don't think that would
have made it onto the media...!

2528
02:07:46,220 --> 02:07:48,300
LAUGHS
Oh, God.

2529
02:07:48,300 --> 02:07:49,940
That's not a joke.

2530
02:07:49,940 --> 02:07:51,460
What's funny about that?

2531
02:07:51,460 --> 02:07:54,820
If they saw his penis,
they'd have a stroke.

2532
02:07:54,820 --> 02:07:56,140
That's no laughing matter.

2533
02:07:56,140 --> 02:07:59,180
We're talking about people's
lives here.

2534
02:07:59,180 --> 02:08:03,660
Elvis was so dangerously explosive,
he was requisitioned by the US Army

2535
02:08:03,660 --> 02:08:05,660
for military use.

2536
02:08:05,660 --> 02:08:08,340
And little wonder,
considering what was going on.

2537
02:08:09,460 --> 02:08:12,780
Both Russia and America
were building up huge stockpiles

2538
02:08:12,780 --> 02:08:16,900
of nuclear weapons, enough
to destroy the entire planet several

2539
02:08:16,900 --> 02:08:19,980
times over, in case they missed
the first time.

2540
02:08:19,980 --> 02:08:23,540
It seemed the planet was headed for
World War III, and in the early

2541
02:08:23,540 --> 02:08:27,220
'60s it teetered up to the edge
of the brink of the precipice

2542
02:08:27,220 --> 02:08:29,740
and gazed straight into an abyss
of no return.

2543
02:08:29,740 --> 02:08:31,500
ARCHIVE: Crisis.

2544
02:08:31,500 --> 02:08:36,020
The word suddenly springs alive
ominously in the newspapers

2545
02:08:36,020 --> 02:08:37,260
across America...

2546
02:08:37,260 --> 02:08:40,660
In the Cube And Missile Crisis,
which was more dangerous -

2547
02:08:40,660 --> 02:08:43,740
the cubes or the missiles?

2548
02:08:43,740 --> 02:08:46,260
You're thinking of the
Cuban Missile Crisis, which refers

2549
02:08:46,260 --> 02:08:49,140
to Cuba, which is a country off the
coast of the United States,

2550
02:08:49,140 --> 02:08:52,340
near Florida. Isn't a cube a
terrible shape for a missile?

2551
02:08:52,340 --> 02:08:55,020
It'd be more like a brick.

2552
02:08:55,020 --> 02:08:59,980
In 1959, there had been a
Communist revolution in Cuba.

2553
02:08:59,980 --> 02:09:04,580
A man called Fido Castrol rose
to power and immediately made

2554
02:09:04,580 --> 02:09:05,780
friends with Russia.

2555
02:09:05,780 --> 02:09:10,900
Then, in 1962, America discovered
the Soviets were going to use Cuba

2556
02:09:10,900 --> 02:09:14,100
as a base for nuclear missiles,
and those missiles could make

2557
02:09:14,100 --> 02:09:16,500
it to Florida in just 20 minutes,

2558
02:09:16,500 --> 02:09:20,620
if the wind was fair and they could
find somewhere to park.

2559
02:09:20,620 --> 02:09:24,260
American president and pin-up
John Effing Kennedy demanded

2560
02:09:24,260 --> 02:09:26,260
the Russians remove the missiles.

2561
02:09:26,260 --> 02:09:28,140
Otherwise, war was inevitable,

2562
02:09:28,140 --> 02:09:30,140
or worse still, possible.

2563
02:09:31,180 --> 02:09:34,580
For six days, the world held its
breath, meaning it might die

2564
02:09:34,580 --> 02:09:37,940
from asphyxiation before
the bombs even went off.

2565
02:09:37,940 --> 02:09:41,660
In the end, Soviet Emperor
Nikita Khrushchev backed down like a

2566
02:09:41,660 --> 02:09:44,700
shameful fucking chicken,
and his missiles went home

2567
02:09:44,700 --> 02:09:46,580
with their tails between their legs.

2568
02:09:46,580 --> 02:09:49,140
Kennedy was victorious.

2569
02:09:49,140 --> 02:09:53,700
John F Kennedy won the
Cuban Missile Crisis.

2570
02:09:53,700 --> 02:09:56,580
Why did he shoot himself afterwards?

2571
02:09:56,580 --> 02:09:58,020
Well, he didn't.

2572
02:09:58,020 --> 02:10:01,460
He negotiated a settlement
to the Cuban Missile Crisis

2573
02:10:01,460 --> 02:10:04,500
with the Soviet leader,
Nikita Khrushchev.

2574
02:10:04,500 --> 02:10:07,940
And then after that, he ended
up being assassinated

2575
02:10:07,940 --> 02:10:10,780
in Dallas, Texas, in 1963,
unfortunately.

2576
02:10:10,780 --> 02:10:13,020
But he didn't fire the bullet.
Right.

2577
02:10:13,020 --> 02:10:16,300
It's ironic that he was so concerned
about Cuban missiles

2578
02:10:16,300 --> 02:10:20,340
when it was a gun in Texas
he should have been worried about.

2579
02:10:20,340 --> 02:10:23,300
I bet he was kicking himself
after he was shot.

2580
02:10:23,300 --> 02:10:24,820
Having dodged Armageddon,

2581
02:10:24,820 --> 02:10:28,460
the world was hungry for change,
and a young generation who wanted

2582
02:10:28,460 --> 02:10:30,300
to give peace a chance rose up.

2583
02:10:30,300 --> 02:10:34,340
Their heroes weren't politicians
but countercultural musicians whose

2584
02:10:34,340 --> 02:10:36,940
works defined the era.

2585
02:10:36,940 --> 02:10:40,420
The Rolling Stones were huge
in the 1960s.

2586
02:10:40,420 --> 02:10:44,420
Would it be fair to say
they were the Beatles of their day?

2587
02:10:44,420 --> 02:10:47,060
Well, I thought...
They were contemporary.

2588
02:10:47,060 --> 02:10:49,780
So there was always a jostle
between the Stones

2589
02:10:49,780 --> 02:10:52,820
and the Beatles. Right, but the
Beatles were already

2590
02:10:52,820 --> 02:10:54,260
the Elvis of their day.

2591
02:10:54,260 --> 02:10:57,500
So there's a spare Beatles.

2592
02:10:57,500 --> 02:10:59,700
Can we give that to the
Rolling Stones, even though

2593
02:10:59,700 --> 02:11:01,980
they're happening at the same time?

2594
02:11:01,980 --> 02:11:05,460
Well, I think people
had their...have their preferences

2595
02:11:05,460 --> 02:11:09,100
between the style of the Beatles
and the style of the Stones. OK.

2596
02:11:09,100 --> 02:11:12,340
So which of the Beatles
of their day was best?

2597
02:11:12,340 --> 02:11:14,380
Beatles 1 or Beatles 2?

2598
02:11:14,380 --> 02:11:17,780
I think Beatles 1 is the preferred.
Beatles 1? Or Beatles, the first...

2599
02:11:17,780 --> 02:11:20,860
The Beatles. Next question.

2600
02:11:20,860 --> 02:11:24,940
Of all the bands of the 1960s,
which ones was The Kinks?

2601
02:11:27,380 --> 02:11:31,260
Meanwhile, the Space Race
was still being run.

2602
02:11:31,260 --> 02:11:34,700
Nasa had spent billions of dollars
developing a rocket powerful enough

2603
02:11:34,700 --> 02:11:37,900
to reach the moon, but not
so powerful it'd blow up

2604
02:11:37,900 --> 02:11:39,580
when it got there.

2605
02:11:39,580 --> 02:11:44,420
Onboard were Neil Armstrong,
Alan Alda and another man who asked

2606
02:11:44,420 --> 02:11:46,420
to remain anonymous.

2607
02:11:46,420 --> 02:11:51,300
On July 20th, 1969, the whole world
was watching on television to see

2608
02:11:51,300 --> 02:11:52,980
if the moon would blow up,

2609
02:11:52,980 --> 02:11:55,740
and also because there was nothing
else on.

2610
02:11:55,740 --> 02:11:58,660
The global audience must
have been genuinely astounded

2611
02:11:58,660 --> 02:12:00,580
by the appalling picture quality,

2612
02:12:00,580 --> 02:12:02,940
which was terrible even
for the time.

2613
02:12:02,940 --> 02:12:04,300
I mean, just look at it.

2614
02:12:04,300 --> 02:12:06,220
Looks like they've flown
to the blur dimension

2615
02:12:06,220 --> 02:12:07,860
to intercept a smudge.

2616
02:12:09,220 --> 02:12:11,060
That's one small step for man...

2617
02:12:13,940 --> 02:12:16,820
..one giant leap for mankind.

2618
02:12:18,380 --> 02:12:20,620
The sound quality
was terrible, too,

2619
02:12:20,620 --> 02:12:24,860
but what he said was, "That's one
small step for man, one bionic leap

2620
02:12:24,860 --> 02:12:28,060
"for mankind," thereby declaring
the moon for men.

2621
02:12:28,060 --> 02:12:32,220
Which is why, to this day, women
have been denied entry to the moon.

2622
02:12:32,220 --> 02:12:33,620
With the moon landings,

2623
02:12:33,620 --> 02:12:37,220
man had achieved greatness,
transcending earthly limits

2624
02:12:37,220 --> 02:12:39,300
and exploring the heavens
themselves -

2625
02:12:39,300 --> 02:12:42,100
assuming any of this
actually happened.

2626
02:12:42,100 --> 02:12:46,660
A lot of people on the internet say
the moon landings were faked.

2627
02:12:46,660 --> 02:12:48,300
How right are they?

2628
02:12:48,300 --> 02:12:50,420
They are completely wrong.

2629
02:12:50,420 --> 02:12:56,020
No historian has ever questioned
the reality of Project Apollo

2630
02:12:56,020 --> 02:12:59,180
because not one piece of so-called
evidence that the

2631
02:12:59,180 --> 02:13:01,820
conspiracy theorists put forward has

2632
02:13:01,820 --> 02:13:04,380
ever stood up to peer-review
scrutiny.

2633
02:13:04,380 --> 02:13:07,380
Right, but obviously it is fake
because how could they have landed

2634
02:13:07,380 --> 02:13:09,340
on the moon if the moon isn't real?

2635
02:13:09,340 --> 02:13:12,140
What makes you think the moon isn't
real, though, Philomena?

2636
02:13:12,140 --> 02:13:13,300
It isn't.

2637
02:13:13,300 --> 02:13:16,460
I don't know if you've done your own
research, but my mate Paul sent me

2638
02:13:16,460 --> 02:13:18,860
a video that
exposes the whole thing.

2639
02:13:18,860 --> 02:13:21,100
Can you prove the moon exists?

2640
02:13:21,940 --> 02:13:23,460
You can't, can you?

2641
02:13:23,460 --> 02:13:25,580
We see it in the sky.

2642
02:13:25,580 --> 02:13:27,700
We have sent spacecraft to the moon.

2643
02:13:27,700 --> 02:13:29,780
We've brought samples back to Earth.

2644
02:13:29,780 --> 02:13:31,460
No, watch the video.

2645
02:13:31,460 --> 02:13:33,100
It'll open your eyes.

2646
02:13:33,100 --> 02:13:36,220
You probably believe in night-time,
too, don't you?

2647
02:13:36,220 --> 02:13:40,100
I experience it, as do billions
of people around the world,

2648
02:13:40,100 --> 02:13:42,660
so, yes, I believe in night-time.

2649
02:13:42,660 --> 02:13:45,700
I believe that when the Earth
rotates, then we have a period

2650
02:13:45,700 --> 02:13:49,660
of dark that we call night-time.
Wake up. It's all in the video.

2651
02:13:49,660 --> 02:13:53,700
They just make us think the moon
is real and that night is real,

2652
02:13:53,700 --> 02:13:55,420
just to keep us obedient.

2653
02:13:55,420 --> 02:13:56,940
Think about it.

2654
02:13:56,940 --> 02:14:00,540
Babies haven't been indoctrinated
yet, so they know there's no such

2655
02:14:00,540 --> 02:14:03,300
thing as night.
That's why they wake up screaming.

2656
02:14:03,300 --> 02:14:05,540
Right, let's move on.

2657
02:14:07,580 --> 02:14:09,460
The Space Race was over,

2658
02:14:09,460 --> 02:14:12,140
America had won, and the prize had
turned out to be

2659
02:14:12,140 --> 02:14:15,940
the worst holiday destination in
history, which they couldn't even

2660
02:14:15,940 --> 02:14:20,060
warn people about because
TripAdvisor didn't exist.

2661
02:14:20,060 --> 02:14:24,140
But there was a consolation prize -
the best holiday snap in history,

2662
02:14:24,140 --> 02:14:27,780
taken on Apollo 8
and known as Earthrise.

2663
02:14:27,780 --> 02:14:30,820
Today, it's too boring to hold
your attention in a landmark

2664
02:14:30,820 --> 02:14:32,820
documentary for more
than eight seconds,

2665
02:14:32,820 --> 02:14:36,500
but back then, this photograph
made people think.

2666
02:14:36,500 --> 02:14:39,700
And not just a small thought like,
"That looks nice,"

2667
02:14:39,700 --> 02:14:41,460
but a big thought.

2668
02:14:42,540 --> 02:14:45,420
It made us realise
our planet is fragile.

2669
02:14:48,260 --> 02:14:51,740
The ecological movement had always
been popular with hippies,

2670
02:14:51,740 --> 02:14:55,140
but people ignored them
because of the way they were dressed

2671
02:14:55,140 --> 02:14:58,740
and because they were too stoned
to make their point coherently.

2672
02:14:58,740 --> 02:15:02,700
But now scientists began to worry
about the state of the planet,

2673
02:15:02,700 --> 02:15:04,740
and so no-one would mistake
them for hippies

2674
02:15:04,740 --> 02:15:06,740
they wore clean white coats
and glasses

2675
02:15:06,740 --> 02:15:08,420
to deliver their warnings.

2676
02:15:08,420 --> 02:15:11,500
But we ignored them, too,
because they looked like nerds.

2677
02:15:11,500 --> 02:15:14,060
The problem was progress.

2678
02:15:14,060 --> 02:15:18,340
All the modern gadgets we'd got
so hooked on ran on electricity,

2679
02:15:18,340 --> 02:15:22,180
which came from power stations,
which burn fossil fuels,

2680
02:15:22,180 --> 02:15:25,020
which creates a gas called CO-2,

2681
02:15:25,020 --> 02:15:26,820
which flies out of chimneys

2682
02:15:26,820 --> 02:15:29,100
and stops the sky working properly.

2683
02:15:29,100 --> 02:15:32,540
One solution to all this
environmental damage was to build

2684
02:15:32,540 --> 02:15:35,820
nuclear power stations,
which don't emit anywhere

2685
02:15:35,820 --> 02:15:39,060
near as much harmful material,
unless they blow up,

2686
02:15:39,060 --> 02:15:40,860
which never happens.

2687
02:15:40,860 --> 02:15:44,140
Until it did in 1986 at Chernobyl.

2688
02:15:44,140 --> 02:15:47,660
The radiation from Chernobyl turned
a huge area into

2689
02:15:47,660 --> 02:15:51,860
a deadly no-go zone, even worse than
Reigate town centre.

2690
02:15:51,860 --> 02:15:55,300
The fallout wafted across thousands
of miles and had one

2691
02:15:55,300 --> 02:15:57,460
unforeseen side-effect.

2692
02:15:57,460 --> 02:16:00,780
It made the bricks of the
Berlin Wall extremely brittle -

2693
02:16:00,780 --> 02:16:03,020
so brittle, it began to collapse.

2694
02:16:04,260 --> 02:16:07,500
Desperate locals rushed to the
wall's assistance and tried

2695
02:16:07,500 --> 02:16:09,740
to make it better
with hammers and fists,

2696
02:16:09,740 --> 02:16:11,540
but it was no use.

2697
02:16:11,540 --> 02:16:14,420
As the wall died, so did communism.

2698
02:16:14,420 --> 02:16:18,940
Capitalism had won, with financial
markets embracing globalisation

2699
02:16:18,940 --> 02:16:23,300
to the toe-tapping sound of Belgian
techno anthem Pump Up The Jam.

2700
02:16:23,300 --> 02:16:26,380
MUSIC: Pump Up The Jam
by Technotronic

2701
02:16:38,380 --> 02:16:42,620
# Pump up the jam, pump it up
while your feet are stompin'

2702
02:16:42,620 --> 02:16:46,500
# And the jam is pumpin'
Look ahead, the crowd is jumpin'

2703
02:16:46,500 --> 02:16:48,140
# Pump it up a little more

2704
02:16:48,140 --> 02:16:50,380
# Get the party goin'
on the dance floor

2705
02:16:50,380 --> 02:16:52,100
# See, cos that's where the
party's at

2706
02:16:52,100 --> 02:16:54,180
# And you'll find out
if you do that

2707
02:16:54,180 --> 02:16:58,140
# I don't want a place to stay

2708
02:16:58,140 --> 02:17:00,700
# Get your booty
on the floor tonight

2709
02:17:00,700 --> 02:17:03,500
# Make my day
I don't want... #

2710
02:17:03,500 --> 02:17:06,820
Suddenly, everybody, apart from
poor people, was making so much

2711
02:17:06,820 --> 02:17:09,860
money that there wasn't room
to store it all in coins.

2712
02:17:09,860 --> 02:17:12,940
Instead, it had to be stored
in numbers on a screen, surrounded

2713
02:17:12,940 --> 02:17:15,500
by men shouting at it to keep
it inside.

2714
02:17:15,500 --> 02:17:17,580
To keep track of all this money,

2715
02:17:17,580 --> 02:17:21,420
the world needed a special kind
of mega abacus, and luckily

2716
02:17:21,420 --> 02:17:24,220
it had one - the computer.

2717
02:17:24,220 --> 02:17:26,820
Today, computers are everywhere
but they used

2718
02:17:26,820 --> 02:17:28,820
to be a cumbersome rarity.

2719
02:17:28,820 --> 02:17:32,620
In the '50s and '60s, one computer
would take up a whole room.

2720
02:17:32,620 --> 02:17:36,860
But in the 1970s, engineers
made a startling discovery.

2721
02:17:36,860 --> 02:17:39,500
If they got rid of all those
pointless flashing lights

2722
02:17:39,500 --> 02:17:43,580
and spinning tape reels, they could
make computers much smaller -

2723
02:17:43,580 --> 02:17:47,020
small enough, in fact,
to fit on the tip of your finger.

2724
02:17:47,020 --> 02:17:50,020
This was the microchip
and it was amazing.

2725
02:17:50,020 --> 02:17:51,300
Thank you.

2726
02:17:51,300 --> 02:17:54,740
Give you the little fella back now.

2727
02:17:54,740 --> 02:17:58,380
The microchip couldn't actually do
anything until you shoved it

2728
02:17:58,380 --> 02:18:00,020
into a big machine like this.

2729
02:18:00,020 --> 02:18:02,220
But in terms of floor space alone,

2730
02:18:02,220 --> 02:18:04,300
it was still a big improvement.

2731
02:18:04,300 --> 02:18:07,060
Now computers were small enough
to share a house with,

2732
02:18:07,060 --> 02:18:09,180
loads more people wanted one.

2733
02:18:09,180 --> 02:18:13,260
Silicon Valley was born - a computer
heartland that would be defined

2734
02:18:13,260 --> 02:18:17,900
by the rivalry between two men,
Bill Gates and Steve Jobs.

2735
02:18:17,900 --> 02:18:20,700
Their names might have been boring,
but the things they said

2736
02:18:20,700 --> 02:18:22,020
were more boring.

2737
02:18:22,020 --> 02:18:25,620
Gates founded Microsoft and hit
the big time with a baffling,

2738
02:18:25,620 --> 02:18:29,420
unofficial sequel to Ms Pac-Man,
called Ms Dos.

2739
02:18:29,420 --> 02:18:32,940
Meanwhile, Jobs created
the Apple Macintosh, the world's

2740
02:18:32,940 --> 02:18:35,580
first inherently smug computer.

2741
02:18:35,580 --> 02:18:39,220
While their rival systems kept
computer users apart,

2742
02:18:39,220 --> 02:18:42,140
something else was trying
to bring them all together -

2743
02:18:42,140 --> 02:18:45,940
WWW - the Web Wide World.

2744
02:18:45,940 --> 02:18:49,860
The internet was so modern and
interesting, it seemed humankind

2745
02:18:49,860 --> 02:18:53,060
might never get up
from its desk again.

2746
02:18:53,060 --> 02:18:57,380
Then, in a dramatic and momentous
keynote presentation, Steve Jobs

2747
02:18:57,380 --> 02:18:59,380
revealed he'd discovered
how to put the internet

2748
02:18:59,380 --> 02:19:01,140
inside a portable rectangle,

2749
02:19:01,140 --> 02:19:03,420
changing history forever.

2750
02:19:03,420 --> 02:19:08,700
And we are calling it iPhone.
APPLAUSE, CHEERING

2751
02:19:08,700 --> 02:19:12,340
Its success inspired tons of
imitators, like that one your

2752
02:19:12,340 --> 02:19:16,660
mum uses, and soon smartphones
were so ubiquitous, you're probably

2753
02:19:16,660 --> 02:19:19,860
looking at one now instead
of me while I'm saying this.

2754
02:19:19,860 --> 02:19:23,100
Smartphones revolutionised
the way humans interact

2755
02:19:23,100 --> 02:19:27,140
by providing a socially acceptable
way to ignore everyone around us.

2756
02:19:27,140 --> 02:19:28,780
But we're not lonely.

2757
02:19:28,780 --> 02:19:32,180
Thanks to social media, it's quicker
and easier than ever to bond

2758
02:19:32,180 --> 02:19:36,060
with millions of others over
something as simple as a cat photo

2759
02:19:36,060 --> 02:19:38,540
or the ritual shaming of a stranger.

2760
02:19:38,540 --> 02:19:41,580
It's easy to see why the smartphone
has become the most popular

2761
02:19:41,580 --> 02:19:43,180
invention this century.

2762
02:19:43,180 --> 02:19:45,260
It's incredibly advanced,

2763
02:19:45,260 --> 02:19:48,780
yet at the same time so simple
a child can make one.

2764
02:19:48,780 --> 02:19:52,260
In fact, not just one,
but about 50 of these an hour,

2765
02:19:52,260 --> 02:19:55,420
if it wants to avoid another night
in the punishment block.

2766
02:19:55,420 --> 02:19:59,500
Sadly, Steve Jobs died before
he could witness Apple's success,

2767
02:19:59,500 --> 02:20:02,220
apart from the first few
hundred billion dollars.

2768
02:20:02,220 --> 02:20:05,540
On his deathbed, he made Apple
engineers promise to change

2769
02:20:05,540 --> 02:20:08,260
the iPhone's headphone jack
every three years,

2770
02:20:08,260 --> 02:20:10,820
then uploaded himself to the cloud.

2771
02:20:12,060 --> 02:20:15,700
Meanwhile, Gates wasted his fortune
eradicating malaria

2772
02:20:15,700 --> 02:20:17,260
in the Third World.

2773
02:20:19,980 --> 02:20:24,220
But despite Apple and Microsoft's
total failure, computers continue

2774
02:20:24,220 --> 02:20:26,300
to go from strength to strength.

2775
02:20:26,300 --> 02:20:28,300
Some believe we're heading
for an event known

2776
02:20:28,300 --> 02:20:32,020
as the singularity, where artificial
intelligence becomes too clever

2777
02:20:32,020 --> 02:20:33,580
for our own good.

2778
02:20:33,580 --> 02:20:36,460
While others believe
this has already happened

2779
02:20:36,460 --> 02:20:39,660
and that all of human civilisation
exists only

2780
02:20:39,660 --> 02:20:42,740
inside a computer simulation.

2781
02:20:42,740 --> 02:20:45,180
How do we know we're not
in a simulation?

2782
02:20:45,180 --> 02:20:46,660
We don't know.

2783
02:20:46,660 --> 02:20:50,820
There are lots of smart people who
think it is possible that we live

2784
02:20:50,820 --> 02:20:52,060
in a simulation.

2785
02:20:52,060 --> 02:20:54,340
If this is a simulation,

2786
02:20:54,340 --> 02:20:57,340
why is the computer making me
ask you this?

2787
02:20:59,380 --> 02:21:05,300
Well...from my perspective,
you are asking a question,

2788
02:21:05,300 --> 02:21:08,820
so I could imagine that you are
being controlled by a computer,

2789
02:21:08,820 --> 02:21:12,900
but you may well feel that
you have free will and you're asking

2790
02:21:12,900 --> 02:21:14,300
those questions yourself.

2791
02:21:14,300 --> 02:21:16,980
Why do I have to actually come
and film this?

2792
02:21:16,980 --> 02:21:20,540
Couldn't a computer just show
it on the telly in the simulation?

2793
02:21:20,540 --> 02:21:23,940
Or is that where I am? You know,
do I exist at all?

2794
02:21:23,940 --> 02:21:25,420
Why is this happening?

2795
02:21:25,420 --> 02:21:29,660
Why isn't it just me eating
a chocolate eclair in a loop,

2796
02:21:29,660 --> 02:21:32,260
like in a gif?
I'd swap for that.

2797
02:21:33,460 --> 02:21:38,540
Actually, are people in looping gifs
caught in a simulation?

2798
02:21:38,540 --> 02:21:40,220
Is that what's happened to them?

2799
02:21:40,220 --> 02:21:43,900
Where do wasps fit into
the simulation?

2800
02:21:43,900 --> 02:21:46,100
I'm not quite sure how...

2801
02:21:46,100 --> 02:21:48,500
Sorry, there's a lot to unpick,
isn't there?

2802
02:21:53,620 --> 02:21:57,500
In this series, we've taken you
from our primitive beginnings

2803
02:21:57,500 --> 02:22:01,100
through spiritual awakenings,
cultural explosions

2804
02:22:01,100 --> 02:22:03,940
and major scientific breakthroughs.

2805
02:22:03,940 --> 02:22:07,500
Now, in the present moment,
humankind sits impaled

2806
02:22:07,500 --> 02:22:10,900
on a crossroads, facing
an uncertain future.

2807
02:22:10,900 --> 02:22:13,700
Will we rise to the challenge
of climate change...

2808
02:22:13,700 --> 02:22:15,540
Or the opposite of that?

2809
02:22:15,540 --> 02:22:18,500
Will computers learn to delete us?

2810
02:22:18,500 --> 02:22:22,660
And if they do, how will we get
ourselves out of the recycle bin?

2811
02:22:22,660 --> 02:22:26,620
Can humankind learn to exist
at peace with itself?

2812
02:22:26,620 --> 02:22:31,580
Or are all of us right now living
through the final hours, minutes

2813
02:22:31,580 --> 02:22:34,140
and seconds of civilisation?

2814
02:22:34,140 --> 02:22:35,660
Or not?

2815
02:22:35,660 --> 02:22:37,100
I don't know.

2816
02:22:37,100 --> 02:22:38,860
And nor do you.

2817
02:22:38,860 --> 02:22:42,780
But whatever happens, it'll
happen right here on Earth.

2818
02:22:45,020 --> 02:22:48,180
OK. That was great. We've got that,
Philomena. Yeah? Yeah, all done.

2819
02:22:48,180 --> 02:22:51,100
Thank you. Is that it? Yeah, that's
it. Nice one. Is that me done? Yeah.

2820
02:22:51,100 --> 02:22:54,460
Great work. Oh, great. So, are you
sure you can actually make it look

2821
02:22:54,460 --> 02:22:56,180
like I've been to these places?

2822
02:22:56,180 --> 02:22:58,660
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't worry
about that. What, really?

2823
02:22:58,660 --> 02:23:01,020
We do all that on computers
afterwards. Oh, OK. All right.

2824
02:23:01,020 --> 02:23:03,300
It's amazing these days. Brilliant.
See you, then. Bye.

2825
02:23:03,300 --> 02:23:05,300
Cut there, guys. Thank you.
Well done.

2826
02:23:06,700 --> 02:23:08,580
That was pretty good, I think.

2827
02:23:08,580 --> 02:23:10,740
Great. OK.

2828
02:23:13,020 --> 02:23:16,260
INDISTINCT CHATTER

2829
02:23:27,660 --> 02:23:29,300
SHUFFLING, RUSTLING

2830
02:23:29,300 --> 02:23:30,900
SOUND DROPS