1 00:00:09,940 --> 00:00:12,700 Have you ever looked around at the limitless majesty 2 00:00:12,700 --> 00:00:14,660 of creation and wondered? 3 00:00:14,660 --> 00:00:18,900 Wondered what all these forests, valleys, mountains and puddles 4 00:00:18,900 --> 00:00:20,620 are actually for? 5 00:00:20,620 --> 00:00:24,260 Wondered how many buildings were knocked down to make way for them? 6 00:00:24,260 --> 00:00:26,700 And who granted the planning permission? 7 00:00:26,700 --> 00:00:29,860 Wondered about all the incredible yet musky animals 8 00:00:29,860 --> 00:00:31,620 we share our planet with? 9 00:00:31,620 --> 00:00:33,180 What's up with them? 10 00:00:33,180 --> 00:00:36,420 From pointless ants to long-necked horse monsters, 11 00:00:36,420 --> 00:00:40,500 from repugnant wombats to beautiful elephants, 12 00:00:40,500 --> 00:00:42,540 what do the creatures want? 13 00:00:42,540 --> 00:00:45,140 And why do they refuse to tell us? 14 00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:50,220 And then, of course, there's us, humanit-kind. 15 00:00:50,220 --> 00:00:52,580 Have you ever wondered how we got here? 16 00:00:52,580 --> 00:00:54,060 Wondered where we're going? 17 00:00:54,060 --> 00:00:56,780 Wondered about the biggest mystery of all - 18 00:00:56,780 --> 00:00:58,980 what is the meaning of life? 19 00:00:58,980 --> 00:01:01,700 Well, I haven't, but others have. 20 00:01:01,700 --> 00:01:05,340 For thousands of years, thinkers, artists, authors 21 00:01:05,340 --> 00:01:09,500 and my aunt Carol have struggled to define humankind's purpose. 22 00:01:09,500 --> 00:01:12,580 Is life's meaning a riddle that even can be answered? 23 00:01:12,580 --> 00:01:17,500 And if so, should we listen or cover our ears to avoid spoilers? 24 00:01:17,500 --> 00:01:21,140 In this landmark documentary special, I'll travel the globe 25 00:01:21,140 --> 00:01:24,580 to walk in slow motion through picturesque locations, 26 00:01:24,580 --> 00:01:28,740 get up close to some of the most significant molecules in existence 27 00:01:28,740 --> 00:01:32,900 and meet a variety of academics, experts and professional mammals 28 00:01:32,900 --> 00:01:36,980 to ask some of the most significant questions you can say with a mouth. 29 00:01:36,980 --> 00:01:38,100 Hello, who are you? 30 00:01:38,100 --> 00:01:40,740 - I'm Brian Cox, professor of particle physics 31 00:01:40,740 --> 00:01:42,100 at the University of Manchester. 32 00:01:42,100 --> 00:01:44,860 - Can I call you Brian, or do you prefer Cox? 33 00:01:44,860 --> 00:01:49,740 So join me, Philomena Cunk, as I uncover the point of it all. 34 00:01:49,740 --> 00:01:52,620 This is Cunk On Life! 35 00:01:52,620 --> 00:01:54,660 ORCHESTRAL MUSIC SWELLS 36 00:02:06,300 --> 00:02:08,940 Welcome to our universe, 37 00:02:08,940 --> 00:02:12,900 a limitless expanse peppered with stars, planets 38 00:02:12,900 --> 00:02:15,220 and assorted space muck. 39 00:02:15,220 --> 00:02:17,460 It's where you live. 40 00:02:17,460 --> 00:02:20,820 In fact, you're somewhere in this photo, 41 00:02:20,820 --> 00:02:24,860 but we don't know where because the universe is so vast, 42 00:02:24,860 --> 00:02:28,220 we simply can't make you out, even with YOUR ears. 43 00:02:31,380 --> 00:02:36,540 Gazing into this infinite tapestry makes us ask questions not 44 00:02:36,540 --> 00:02:40,740 just about where the ceiling's gone, but deep questions that strike 45 00:02:40,740 --> 00:02:43,500 at the very core of our arseholes. 46 00:02:43,500 --> 00:02:46,180 Questions like, how did it get here? 47 00:02:51,220 --> 00:02:52,660 Who are you? 48 00:02:52,660 --> 00:02:56,460 - I'm Douglas Hedley, and I teach the philosophy of religion 49 00:02:56,460 --> 00:02:58,300 at the University of Cambridge. 50 00:02:58,300 --> 00:03:01,060 - So...why are we here? 51 00:03:01,060 --> 00:03:04,980 - You mean why human beings exist? 52 00:03:04,980 --> 00:03:09,220 - No. I mean why are we here in... Is this near your house or something? 53 00:03:09,220 --> 00:03:10,580 - No. 54 00:03:10,580 --> 00:03:13,380 - It took me 90 minutes to get here on the Piccadilly line. 55 00:03:14,940 --> 00:03:18,220 There are countless theories about how the universe got here, 56 00:03:18,220 --> 00:03:23,140 and the earliest one comes from the wacky world of religion. 57 00:03:23,140 --> 00:03:24,940 This is the good Old Testament, 58 00:03:24,940 --> 00:03:28,340 the first entry in the Christian cinematic universe. 59 00:03:28,340 --> 00:03:30,100 Jesus isn't in this one. 60 00:03:30,100 --> 00:03:32,620 It's mainly about his bad-tempered dad, 61 00:03:32,620 --> 00:03:36,460 a man so mysterious we still only know him by his stage name, 62 00:03:36,460 --> 00:03:38,060 God. 63 00:03:38,060 --> 00:03:41,020 Um, I'm going to go straight in at the deep end. 64 00:03:41,020 --> 00:03:42,580 Is there a God? 65 00:03:42,580 --> 00:03:43,940 - Yes. 66 00:03:43,940 --> 00:03:45,500 - Oh, that was quick. 67 00:03:45,500 --> 00:03:46,660 - Mm. 68 00:03:46,660 --> 00:03:48,100 - Great. 69 00:03:48,100 --> 00:03:49,900 Um, has anyone proved it? 70 00:03:51,460 --> 00:03:54,340 - No, except to their own satisfaction. 71 00:03:54,340 --> 00:03:56,940 - Does God have a brother called Simon? 72 00:03:56,940 --> 00:03:58,300 - No. 73 00:03:58,300 --> 00:04:00,900 - But they can't prove that either so he might have. 74 00:04:00,900 --> 00:04:04,180 The universe could have been created by Simon. 75 00:04:04,180 --> 00:04:09,380 The Old Testament claims God - and/or Simon - created our universe 76 00:04:09,380 --> 00:04:11,300 in just seven days. 77 00:04:11,300 --> 00:04:14,980 It sounds like a lot to achieve in such a short space of time but, 78 00:04:14,980 --> 00:04:19,780 unlike us, God wasn't constantly interrupted by iPhone notifications. 79 00:04:19,780 --> 00:04:22,700 God started by saying, "Let there be light." 80 00:04:22,700 --> 00:04:26,300 Which makes sense because he needed to be able to see what he was doing. 81 00:04:26,300 --> 00:04:28,060 Then he divided light from dark, 82 00:04:28,060 --> 00:04:30,500 like I do when I'm doing a clothes wash. 83 00:04:30,500 --> 00:04:33,780 Next, he created the firmament, whatever that is, 84 00:04:33,780 --> 00:04:35,940 and the oceans and the stars. 85 00:04:35,940 --> 00:04:39,620 For his next trick, God filled the oceans with water animals, 86 00:04:39,620 --> 00:04:41,900 or fish as they're sometimes known, 87 00:04:41,900 --> 00:04:45,140 and the heavens with sky beasts, or birds. 88 00:04:45,140 --> 00:04:48,980 Then he infested the earth with insects, reptiles, mammals, 89 00:04:48,980 --> 00:04:51,500 and whatever category of things slugs are. 90 00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:54,620 And, finally, for his crowning achievement, 91 00:04:54,620 --> 00:04:58,180 he created perhaps the only thing worth celebrating - 92 00:04:58,180 --> 00:04:59,460 us. 93 00:05:00,580 --> 00:05:03,820 Here on the planet of Italy is the Sistine Chapel. 94 00:05:03,820 --> 00:05:07,740 Inside it is an astonishing collection of images created 95 00:05:07,740 --> 00:05:12,460 by overachieving painter-decorator Michael AN Gelo. 96 00:05:12,460 --> 00:05:15,540 This artwork took him four years to complete, 97 00:05:15,540 --> 00:05:19,500 ruining a perfectly good ceiling in the process. 98 00:05:19,500 --> 00:05:23,580 But whatever you think of it, what it depicts is momentous - 99 00:05:23,580 --> 00:05:27,460 the moment God created life by jizzing us out of his hands. 100 00:05:28,740 --> 00:05:32,660 This image of the most significant fingerbang in history has inspired 101 00:05:32,660 --> 00:05:35,540 visitors to the Sistine Chapel for many centuries, 102 00:05:35,540 --> 00:05:38,780 and visitors to this replica for less time than that. 103 00:05:40,060 --> 00:05:43,500 It's perhaps the greatest masterpiece in all of art, 104 00:05:43,500 --> 00:05:45,740 but also the most annoying to look at. 105 00:05:45,740 --> 00:05:48,980 When I gaze up at it, I'm struck by a sense of wonder, 106 00:05:48,980 --> 00:05:50,940 but mainly by a crick in my neck. 107 00:05:52,220 --> 00:05:55,420 When Michelangelo painted the Sistine Chapel, 108 00:05:55,420 --> 00:05:58,940 did he start on the floor and then they flipped the building over? 109 00:05:58,940 --> 00:06:01,420 Or was it always on the ceiling? 110 00:06:01,420 --> 00:06:03,860 - The painting was always on the ceiling. 111 00:06:03,860 --> 00:06:05,580 - It's quite high up, isn't it? 112 00:06:05,580 --> 00:06:08,940 Did Michelangelo use a really long brush, 113 00:06:08,940 --> 00:06:11,260 or did he have really long arms? 114 00:06:11,260 --> 00:06:15,380 - Um, well, he had to stand up on top of some scaffolding 115 00:06:15,380 --> 00:06:17,300 and bend his head backwards. 116 00:06:17,300 --> 00:06:20,380 - Wouldn't paint drip down into his eyes when he was doing it? 117 00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:23,900 - Yeah. - I bet he was blinking the whole time sort of like.... 118 00:06:23,900 --> 00:06:25,780 Like that. - He doesn't complain about that, 119 00:06:25,780 --> 00:06:27,260 but he must have done. 120 00:06:27,260 --> 00:06:29,940 - However he did it, painting the Sistine Chapel must have been 121 00:06:29,940 --> 00:06:31,700 a great upper body workout. 122 00:06:31,700 --> 00:06:33,900 How strong were Michelangelo's arms? 123 00:06:33,900 --> 00:06:38,180 Like, if a mad priest had leapt on his back while he was painting it, 124 00:06:38,180 --> 00:06:41,700 would he have been able to reach around and pull him off? 125 00:06:41,700 --> 00:06:43,820 - Oh, yeah, I think so. 126 00:06:43,820 --> 00:06:47,420 I think Michelangelo was quite muscular. He must have been. - Mm. 127 00:06:47,420 --> 00:06:49,500 - Or if he wasn't... - So he could really yank him off! 128 00:06:49,500 --> 00:06:51,820 - I think he could have done, yeah. 129 00:06:51,820 --> 00:06:54,460 - The man God's creating here is called Adam. 130 00:06:54,460 --> 00:06:58,300 He's one half of the first celebrity couple, Adam and Eve, 131 00:06:58,300 --> 00:07:02,020 played here by actors who happily signed a nudity waiver. 132 00:07:02,020 --> 00:07:04,460 Of course, the real Adam and Eve wouldn't have had tattoos 133 00:07:04,460 --> 00:07:06,300 we'd have to paint over 134 00:07:06,300 --> 00:07:08,940 or intimate piercings we'd have to ask them to take out 135 00:07:08,940 --> 00:07:11,620 and hand to our researcher for safekeeping. 136 00:07:11,620 --> 00:07:14,740 We've pixelated the offensive parts of their bodies, 137 00:07:14,740 --> 00:07:17,740 a technology that wasn't available in Old Testament times, 138 00:07:17,740 --> 00:07:22,220 which is why I can see everything, even though I don't really want to. 139 00:07:22,220 --> 00:07:25,780 Adam and Eve weren't just the first humans to exist, 140 00:07:25,780 --> 00:07:28,660 but the first humans to disappoint their dad. 141 00:07:28,660 --> 00:07:30,540 God had hidden the secret of knowledge 142 00:07:30,540 --> 00:07:32,500 inside a delicious-looking fruit, 143 00:07:32,500 --> 00:07:35,260 and then forbidden them to eat it for some fucking reason. 144 00:07:35,260 --> 00:07:37,020 But eat it they did. 145 00:07:37,020 --> 00:07:41,660 An early example of an Apple product hastening the downfall of humankind. 146 00:07:41,660 --> 00:07:44,220 This was the original sin, 147 00:07:44,220 --> 00:07:48,460 and ever since, all humans have been considered sinful. 148 00:07:54,540 --> 00:07:56,980 Sinners worry God might punish them, 149 00:07:56,980 --> 00:07:58,740 but what about you? 150 00:08:02,700 --> 00:08:06,940 - Well, um, I'm a sinner like anybody else. 151 00:08:08,220 --> 00:08:12,100 - No, I mean should they worry about you punishing them? 152 00:08:12,100 --> 00:08:14,460 - Uh... No. 153 00:08:15,900 --> 00:08:19,780 - God realised he needed help keeping us sinful humans in check 154 00:08:19,780 --> 00:08:22,060 and he knew just who to call on. 155 00:08:22,060 --> 00:08:25,300 This is Holy Moses, the most successful influencer 156 00:08:25,300 --> 00:08:29,220 of Old Testament times, very much the Mr Beast of his day. 157 00:08:29,220 --> 00:08:32,620 One day, God invited Moses to the top of Mount Sinai 158 00:08:32,620 --> 00:08:36,580 and handed him a set of rules for life carved on stone tablets. 159 00:08:36,580 --> 00:08:39,700 It was the world's first and heaviest press release. 160 00:08:39,700 --> 00:08:42,780 God commanded Moses to spread this message far and wide, 161 00:08:42,780 --> 00:08:44,780 which must have been annoying for Moses, 162 00:08:44,780 --> 00:08:47,380 because he'd have to carry the tablets back down on foot 163 00:08:47,380 --> 00:08:49,780 and probably didn't have room in his rucksack. 164 00:08:49,780 --> 00:08:52,780 How many Ten Commandments were there? 165 00:08:52,780 --> 00:08:55,500 - How many? Well, you just named them. Ten. 166 00:08:55,500 --> 00:08:58,180 - So there were ten Ten Commandments. 167 00:08:58,180 --> 00:09:00,100 - There weren't 100 commandments. 168 00:09:00,100 --> 00:09:02,180 There were ten...commandments. 169 00:09:02,180 --> 00:09:04,220 - There were ten...commandments. 170 00:09:04,220 --> 00:09:06,460 - Yes. That's it. 171 00:09:06,460 --> 00:09:08,740 - These shalts and shalt nots are a set 172 00:09:08,740 --> 00:09:11,300 of terms and conditions for humankind. 173 00:09:11,300 --> 00:09:14,140 All Christians had to agree to abide by them 174 00:09:14,140 --> 00:09:16,980 and also accept occasional promotional messages from God 175 00:09:16,980 --> 00:09:18,980 on subjects that may interest them. 176 00:09:18,980 --> 00:09:21,820 How did God manage to boil his terms and conditions 177 00:09:21,820 --> 00:09:26,500 down to just ten points when the iPhone end user license agreement 178 00:09:26,500 --> 00:09:28,900 is about 100 pages long? 179 00:09:28,900 --> 00:09:30,940 - Well, it just proves the point that God is God, 180 00:09:30,940 --> 00:09:33,020 and so he's a lot more concise than we are. 181 00:09:33,020 --> 00:09:35,260 - Is it a legally binding contract? 182 00:09:35,260 --> 00:09:37,980 - It is a covenant, which is a covenant of love 183 00:09:37,980 --> 00:09:39,940 between God and God's people, so... 184 00:09:39,940 --> 00:09:41,660 - No, I meant the iPhone one. 185 00:09:43,100 --> 00:09:45,420 In a bid to stay in God's good books, 186 00:09:45,420 --> 00:09:47,780 devout followers avoid sinful pleasures 187 00:09:47,780 --> 00:09:50,820 like lusting after sloths during their lifetimes. 188 00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:57,820 Not everyone thinks enjoying yourself is bad. 189 00:09:57,820 --> 00:10:00,380 Some people dedicate their lives to hedonism, 190 00:10:00,380 --> 00:10:02,500 the sleaziest -ism there is. 191 00:10:02,500 --> 00:10:04,220 Apart from jism. 192 00:10:05,940 --> 00:10:09,340 Entire cities have been built for hedonist pursuits - 193 00:10:09,340 --> 00:10:12,860 impressive, opulent cities like Swansea in Wales, 194 00:10:12,860 --> 00:10:14,980 and also this place. 195 00:10:14,980 --> 00:10:19,300 This is Las Vegas, Spanish for The Vegas. 196 00:10:19,300 --> 00:10:23,420 With its culture of casinos, strip clubs and round-the-clock drinking, 197 00:10:23,420 --> 00:10:26,580 it's a mecca for people who aren't going to Mecca. 198 00:10:26,580 --> 00:10:30,700 Vegas is a shimmering visual metaphor for human indulgence, 199 00:10:30,700 --> 00:10:32,420 according to our director, 200 00:10:32,420 --> 00:10:35,100 and too far away and expensive for us to film in, 201 00:10:35,100 --> 00:10:37,980 according to our producer, who lost the argument. 202 00:10:40,580 --> 00:10:45,140 Given its reputation, Las Vegas is also known as Sin City, 203 00:10:45,140 --> 00:10:47,740 which is short for Cincinnati, 204 00:10:47,740 --> 00:10:51,020 or would be if that wasn't a different place altogether. 205 00:10:51,020 --> 00:10:53,820 Many of the tourists who flock here each year hope 206 00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:57,140 that what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. 207 00:10:57,140 --> 00:11:01,300 Maybe that's true, but on the other hand, God sees everything, 208 00:11:01,300 --> 00:11:04,740 even that thing my ex, Sean, used to do with his thumb. 209 00:11:04,740 --> 00:11:09,100 Worse still, God doesn't just know about the sinful things you've done, 210 00:11:09,100 --> 00:11:11,220 he also knows about the sinful things 211 00:11:11,220 --> 00:11:13,940 you're merely thinking of doing. 212 00:11:13,940 --> 00:11:16,020 God knows everything we're thinking. 213 00:11:16,020 --> 00:11:18,380 That's a data privacy nightmare, isn't it? 214 00:11:18,380 --> 00:11:20,260 Is there a way to opt out? 215 00:11:21,260 --> 00:11:22,700 - Not that I'm aware of. 216 00:11:22,700 --> 00:11:27,220 - Could you put God off the scent by only thinking decoy thoughts? 217 00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:30,780 Like only thinking the opposite of what you actually think? 218 00:11:30,780 --> 00:11:31,980 Would that work? 219 00:11:33,540 --> 00:11:36,060 - I don't think so. - No. 220 00:11:36,060 --> 00:11:38,260 - Because you're not just dealing with a God who is omniscient, 221 00:11:38,260 --> 00:11:40,460 knows everything, you're also dealing with a God 222 00:11:40,460 --> 00:11:42,780 who is omnipotent, is all powerful. 223 00:11:42,780 --> 00:11:44,900 - I'll be honest. This relationship with God 224 00:11:44,900 --> 00:11:46,780 throws up a lot of red flags. 225 00:11:46,780 --> 00:11:49,100 He's watching us all the time. 226 00:11:49,100 --> 00:11:50,620 He sets rules. 227 00:11:50,620 --> 00:11:53,060 He's got a terrible temper. 228 00:11:53,060 --> 00:11:54,620 He even thinks he's God. 229 00:11:54,620 --> 00:11:57,300 Isn't he basically just a toxic narcissist? 230 00:11:58,580 --> 00:12:01,020 If you follow God's rules religiously, 231 00:12:01,020 --> 00:12:04,180 you'll ascend to the Kingdom of Heaven, which sounds great. 232 00:12:04,180 --> 00:12:06,420 Although if you're old when you die, 233 00:12:06,420 --> 00:12:09,340 you might not want to be going up a lot of stairs. 234 00:12:11,220 --> 00:12:13,420 In Heaven, nobody has to work any more. 235 00:12:13,420 --> 00:12:16,020 The most that will be asked of you is doing the washing-up. 236 00:12:16,020 --> 00:12:19,140 But since all earthly appetites will have been sated, 237 00:12:19,140 --> 00:12:22,260 we can only be talking about the odd mug. 238 00:12:22,260 --> 00:12:24,580 The alternative to Heaven is Hell, 239 00:12:24,580 --> 00:12:27,700 a fiery pit of damnation and eternal torment, 240 00:12:27,700 --> 00:12:30,620 which currently only has two stars on TripAdvisor. 241 00:12:30,620 --> 00:12:33,380 This is quite a spiritual show. 242 00:12:33,380 --> 00:12:36,300 Can I ask about our souls? 243 00:12:36,300 --> 00:12:40,740 Do we get judged for the cleanliness of our souls when we get to heaven? 244 00:12:40,740 --> 00:12:44,340 - I think we get judged by how we've acted in the world. 245 00:12:44,340 --> 00:12:48,020 - When we look into our souls, what do we find there? 246 00:12:49,500 --> 00:12:52,780 - Well, it depends how far we're prepared to look into it. 247 00:12:52,780 --> 00:12:54,180 - How far you look up? 248 00:12:54,180 --> 00:12:55,340 Yeah. 249 00:12:56,540 --> 00:13:00,100 God's unforgiving nature means his believers try to stay 250 00:13:00,100 --> 00:13:05,300 in his good books through a form of organised grovelling called worship. 251 00:13:07,940 --> 00:13:13,140 - # Cleanse all our souls, King of Heaven 252 00:13:14,340 --> 00:13:19,300 # Even though they reek of sin 253 00:13:19,300 --> 00:13:24,460 # Enter our souls resolutely 254 00:13:24,460 --> 00:13:29,500 # Penetrate the depths within 255 00:13:29,500 --> 00:13:34,860 # Our souls, our souls 256 00:13:34,860 --> 00:13:40,540 # Fill them up unto the brim. # 257 00:13:43,020 --> 00:13:46,900 - Many find praising God in this way gives them a purpose in life - 258 00:13:46,900 --> 00:13:48,660 sucking up to the boss. 259 00:13:49,940 --> 00:13:51,980 If God's up there looking down on us, 260 00:13:51,980 --> 00:13:54,300 why do we kneel when we pray? 261 00:13:54,300 --> 00:13:57,660 - Kneeling is the expression 262 00:13:57,660 --> 00:14:00,900 of a sense of awe and holiness. 263 00:14:00,900 --> 00:14:03,780 - Yeah, but what's the point in kneeling, though, all bent over? 264 00:14:03,780 --> 00:14:05,860 You know, it's terrible acoustics. 265 00:14:05,860 --> 00:14:07,700 Wouldn't it be better to stand up 266 00:14:07,700 --> 00:14:09,940 and shout a list of demands up to the sky? 267 00:14:09,940 --> 00:14:12,460 - God is not in the sky literally. 268 00:14:12,460 --> 00:14:13,500 - Right. 269 00:14:13,500 --> 00:14:15,460 So where is he? Has he got an address? 270 00:14:15,460 --> 00:14:19,420 - God is present 271 00:14:19,420 --> 00:14:23,740 in all places and all times. 272 00:14:23,740 --> 00:14:25,700 - What, even, like, in cupboards? 273 00:14:25,700 --> 00:14:30,180 - Well, you've raised a very important question here, 274 00:14:30,180 --> 00:14:38,100 because one way of thinking about the Divine presence 275 00:14:38,100 --> 00:14:41,020 is in terms of his knowledge. 276 00:14:41,020 --> 00:14:45,700 So maybe God is not located in the cupboard, 277 00:14:45,700 --> 00:14:50,860 but he knows about the state of affairs in the cupboard. 278 00:14:50,860 --> 00:14:53,780 - Uh, sorry, is he in a cupboard or not? 279 00:14:53,780 --> 00:14:57,700 Not everyone believes God is solely responsible for giving us life. 280 00:14:57,700 --> 00:15:00,260 Other origin stories are available. 281 00:15:01,660 --> 00:15:03,460 The man slowly moving toward you 282 00:15:03,460 --> 00:15:06,380 is unshaven Victorian genius Charles Darwin. 283 00:15:06,380 --> 00:15:09,580 One day, Darwin rode a beagle to the Galapagos Islands, 284 00:15:09,580 --> 00:15:13,820 where an exotic tortoise gave him an idea in the form of a theory, 285 00:15:13,820 --> 00:15:18,060 a theory that human bodies hadn't always been human bodies. 286 00:15:19,260 --> 00:15:22,620 Why do we say our ancestors came in apes? 287 00:15:24,020 --> 00:15:25,740 - Our ancestors came...? 288 00:15:25,740 --> 00:15:26,980 - In apes. 289 00:15:26,980 --> 00:15:28,180 - Ah. 290 00:15:28,180 --> 00:15:29,780 They didn't come from apes. 291 00:15:29,780 --> 00:15:33,700 Apes and ourselves came from something else. 292 00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:34,940 - A chimp. 293 00:15:34,940 --> 00:15:37,780 - Sort of... You know, it's not exactly like a chimp 294 00:15:37,780 --> 00:15:40,540 or a modern ape or ourselves. - Right. 295 00:15:40,540 --> 00:15:42,100 So we didn't come in a chimp? 296 00:15:42,100 --> 00:15:43,900 - No. 297 00:15:43,900 --> 00:15:46,900 - It's hard to believe we all mutated from monkey meat, 298 00:15:46,900 --> 00:15:49,460 unless you consider all life is basically the same 299 00:15:49,460 --> 00:15:51,100 at a microscopic level. 300 00:15:51,100 --> 00:15:54,140 Lots of things are alive, from tiny microbes 301 00:15:54,140 --> 00:15:56,260 to bigger microbes. 302 00:15:56,260 --> 00:16:00,100 Every life form is made of cells, like a prison, 303 00:16:00,100 --> 00:16:03,180 which is probably why existence is so depressing. 304 00:16:03,180 --> 00:16:05,180 It's a life sentence. 305 00:16:05,180 --> 00:16:08,260 Just like the sentences I say in this programme about life. 306 00:16:09,700 --> 00:16:11,940 Are cells worth having? 307 00:16:11,940 --> 00:16:14,300 - Well, without cells we wouldn't be. 308 00:16:14,300 --> 00:16:16,540 We're made up of trillions of cells. 309 00:16:16,540 --> 00:16:20,820 We all came from a single cell, so they're really important to us. 310 00:16:20,820 --> 00:16:24,580 - Are my cells dividing and multiplying all the time? 311 00:16:24,580 --> 00:16:26,580 Like, even when I'm sitting here now? 312 00:16:26,580 --> 00:16:28,620 - Since you've been sat there, they've probably... 313 00:16:28,620 --> 00:16:31,900 You've had about a million cell divisions going on in your body. 314 00:16:31,900 --> 00:16:34,540 - Ugh, no wonder I feel so worn out all the time. 315 00:16:35,780 --> 00:16:38,060 Cells couldn't multiply without this - 316 00:16:38,060 --> 00:16:42,180 the Ikea instruction manual for life, DNA. 317 00:16:42,180 --> 00:16:45,780 DNA is tiny, yet complex, like Tom cruise. 318 00:16:45,780 --> 00:16:49,660 It would take a typist over 50 years to type out the DNA sequence, 319 00:16:49,660 --> 00:16:51,020 which would be stupid 320 00:16:51,020 --> 00:16:53,700 because she could just cut and paste it and go home. 321 00:16:53,700 --> 00:16:56,220 I call her "she" because of unconscious bias, 322 00:16:56,220 --> 00:16:58,940 which is in my DNA and not my fault. 323 00:16:58,940 --> 00:17:01,100 Have you heard of DNA? 324 00:17:02,180 --> 00:17:03,740 - Yes. 325 00:17:03,740 --> 00:17:05,460 - Do we all have D and A, 326 00:17:05,460 --> 00:17:08,620 or do some of us have D or A, but not both? 327 00:17:09,620 --> 00:17:14,860 - No, it's not D and A, it's three letters - DNA. 328 00:17:14,860 --> 00:17:18,420 - Can you tell by looking at me whether I have DNA? 329 00:17:18,420 --> 00:17:21,900 - Well, I know you have DNA because you're a living organism 330 00:17:21,900 --> 00:17:23,620 and all life has DNA. 331 00:17:23,620 --> 00:17:26,460 - My mate Paul tried to create a new life form 332 00:17:26,460 --> 00:17:29,340 by inserting his DNA into a grapefruit. 333 00:17:29,340 --> 00:17:33,820 But halfway through the experiment, the greengrocer started hitting him. 334 00:17:33,820 --> 00:17:36,380 Why is science so controversial? 335 00:17:39,020 --> 00:17:41,820 - I'm sorry that...that question didn't follow 336 00:17:41,820 --> 00:17:43,980 from your story of the DNA... 337 00:17:43,980 --> 00:17:46,380 - No. It changed, yeah. 338 00:17:46,380 --> 00:17:49,740 One of life's biggest mysteries is how it's possible for me to look 339 00:17:49,740 --> 00:17:52,540 both like my mother... 340 00:17:52,540 --> 00:17:56,220 ..and my father at the same time, 341 00:17:56,220 --> 00:17:59,140 even though I've only got one face. 342 00:17:59,140 --> 00:18:02,340 Is it true the most important thing we can do as humans 343 00:18:02,340 --> 00:18:04,660 is piss in our jeans? 344 00:18:04,660 --> 00:18:06,420 PRODUCER: - Pass on our genes. 345 00:18:06,420 --> 00:18:07,820 - Pa...? Sorry? 346 00:18:07,820 --> 00:18:09,780 - Sorry, it's "pass on our genes." 347 00:18:09,780 --> 00:18:11,820 - Oh, right. Um... 348 00:18:11,820 --> 00:18:16,740 Is it true the most important thing we can do as a human is... 349 00:18:16,740 --> 00:18:18,380 ..pass... 350 00:18:18,380 --> 00:18:20,260 ..pass on our genes? 351 00:18:20,260 --> 00:18:22,700 - Well, I don't know if it's the most important thing, 352 00:18:22,700 --> 00:18:26,340 but it is very important, because what it means is 353 00:18:26,340 --> 00:18:30,940 that you pass on your genes from you to your child. 354 00:18:30,940 --> 00:18:33,300 - What if I don't want to pass on any of mine? 355 00:18:33,300 --> 00:18:35,460 - Then, um... Then you don't have to. 356 00:18:35,460 --> 00:18:37,140 - Right. How can I avoid it? 357 00:18:37,140 --> 00:18:38,940 - Well, um... 358 00:18:38,940 --> 00:18:40,300 You have to make love. 359 00:18:41,500 --> 00:18:43,820 - What, to avoid passing on my genes?! 360 00:18:46,620 --> 00:18:48,740 All living things reproduce, 361 00:18:48,740 --> 00:18:51,300 which means all living things procreate - 362 00:18:51,300 --> 00:18:52,980 dogs, lions, 363 00:18:52,980 --> 00:18:54,540 pigs, penguins, 364 00:18:54,540 --> 00:18:56,380 monkeys, shell monsters, 365 00:18:56,380 --> 00:18:58,020 elephants, horses, 366 00:18:58,020 --> 00:19:00,540 David and Victoria Beckham, and pigs again. 367 00:19:00,540 --> 00:19:02,340 The female reproductive organs 368 00:19:02,340 --> 00:19:05,100 are largely hidden indoors for safekeeping 369 00:19:05,100 --> 00:19:08,260 and are normally only visible behind some kind of paywall. 370 00:19:08,260 --> 00:19:12,100 By contrast, the male genitals, or "Mr Genitals", 371 00:19:12,100 --> 00:19:13,900 live on the outside of the body, 372 00:19:13,900 --> 00:19:15,900 where they can be easily photographed 373 00:19:15,900 --> 00:19:18,940 and DMed to a potential mate without consent. 374 00:19:18,940 --> 00:19:21,300 So which bit's the penis? 375 00:19:21,300 --> 00:19:23,060 - So the penis is over here. 376 00:19:23,060 --> 00:19:24,660 It's this bit here. - Right. 377 00:19:24,660 --> 00:19:27,780 LOWERS VOICE: I'll talk quietly. I don't want to wake it. 378 00:19:27,780 --> 00:19:29,260 - This is a flaccid penis. 379 00:19:29,260 --> 00:19:32,540 So for sexual intercourse, it has to become erect. 380 00:19:32,540 --> 00:19:36,020 - So what happens, then? What bit goes where? 381 00:19:36,020 --> 00:19:38,900 - So this penis needs to become erect. - Yeah. 382 00:19:38,900 --> 00:19:42,660 - And then it will be put into the vagina here during intercourse. 383 00:19:42,660 --> 00:19:46,380 And he's going to ejaculate sperm through his penis 384 00:19:46,380 --> 00:19:48,140 and then into the woman's vagina. 385 00:19:48,140 --> 00:19:50,260 - Pfft. Christ. 386 00:19:50,260 --> 00:19:53,180 I hope nothing like that ever happens to me. 387 00:19:53,180 --> 00:19:56,700 The disappointingly flavoured soup that vomits from the penis 388 00:19:56,700 --> 00:20:00,380 contains millions of plucky young tadpoles which swim their way up 389 00:20:00,380 --> 00:20:03,100 through the female pipework towards an egg 390 00:20:03,100 --> 00:20:07,660 and then kamikaze into it like a tiny 9/11 happening up a lady. 391 00:20:07,660 --> 00:20:11,660 This is where, incredibly, the miracle of life begins 392 00:20:11,660 --> 00:20:16,500 and the precise moment that a woman's right to choose ends. 393 00:20:17,740 --> 00:20:19,860 Nine months after conception, 394 00:20:19,860 --> 00:20:23,020 the infant painlessly slides through the lady's front hole 395 00:20:23,020 --> 00:20:24,740 and out into the world. 396 00:20:24,740 --> 00:20:29,820 It then slowly mutates from a baby into an actual human being. 397 00:20:29,820 --> 00:20:32,260 But what exactly is a human being? 398 00:20:33,300 --> 00:20:36,060 What percentage of people have a human body? 399 00:20:37,420 --> 00:20:40,100 - All humans have a human body. 400 00:20:40,100 --> 00:20:41,580 - What about people holding a cat? 401 00:20:41,580 --> 00:20:44,580 Have they got a human body and a cat's body? 402 00:20:44,580 --> 00:20:46,500 Or does it not work that way? 403 00:20:46,500 --> 00:20:48,820 - No, the two are completely separate. 404 00:20:48,820 --> 00:20:52,580 The human is a human and the cat is a cat. 405 00:20:52,580 --> 00:20:56,940 - Human biology has existed almost as long as humans themselves, 406 00:20:56,940 --> 00:20:58,500 if not longer. 407 00:20:58,500 --> 00:21:00,940 It involves a complex arrangement of skin 408 00:21:00,940 --> 00:21:03,860 and meat machines called organs. 409 00:21:03,860 --> 00:21:05,740 Put these organs in a plastic bag 410 00:21:05,740 --> 00:21:09,020 and walk around a shoe shop with them and you'd be arrested. 411 00:21:09,020 --> 00:21:12,260 But put them in the right order and you've got a human body, 412 00:21:12,260 --> 00:21:14,460 an exquisitely constructed machine 413 00:21:14,460 --> 00:21:17,020 that also farts and eats crisps. 414 00:21:18,060 --> 00:21:22,220 Our organs are so gory some people can't bear to see images like this. 415 00:21:22,220 --> 00:21:25,580 If you're one of those sensitive viewers, look away five seconds ago. 416 00:21:26,740 --> 00:21:31,460 Is the correct term for all this offal or gore? 417 00:21:31,460 --> 00:21:33,260 All this stuff? - That is... 418 00:21:33,260 --> 00:21:35,300 This is called the intestine. 419 00:21:35,300 --> 00:21:39,020 - If you pulled an intestine out, how long would it be? 420 00:21:39,020 --> 00:21:41,060 - It would be many metres. 421 00:21:41,060 --> 00:21:43,260 - OK, but why are you pulling it out? 422 00:21:43,260 --> 00:21:46,700 - We wouldn't normally pull it out unless there was a disease process. 423 00:21:46,700 --> 00:21:49,100 - Right. So you don't know why it's happening? 424 00:21:49,100 --> 00:21:50,300 - No. 425 00:21:50,300 --> 00:21:53,220 - All these slimy innards need a surrounding structure to stop them 426 00:21:53,220 --> 00:21:55,940 slopping onto the floor for passers-by to slip on. 427 00:21:55,940 --> 00:21:59,580 We wouldn't be upstanding citizens if it wasn't for this - 428 00:21:59,580 --> 00:22:02,260 the human skeleton, of ghost train fame. 429 00:22:02,260 --> 00:22:03,700 It's incredible to think 430 00:22:03,700 --> 00:22:06,460 that there's one of these inside some of us. 431 00:22:07,780 --> 00:22:11,140 Did you know only 40% of people have skeletons? 432 00:22:12,620 --> 00:22:14,540 - Where did you get this figure from? 433 00:22:14,540 --> 00:22:16,580 - It's true. I saw a video about it. 434 00:22:16,580 --> 00:22:19,820 You only find out if you've got a skeleton after you die. 435 00:22:19,820 --> 00:22:22,140 Some people are just solid meat. - This is... 436 00:22:22,140 --> 00:22:24,180 - You know Burt Lancaster, the actor? 437 00:22:24,180 --> 00:22:27,380 He was solid meat, apparently, like a sausage. 438 00:22:27,380 --> 00:22:30,700 - Every human being has a skeleton. 439 00:22:30,700 --> 00:22:33,260 That figure is 100%. 440 00:22:33,260 --> 00:22:35,140 - Did you know knees are a con? 441 00:22:35,140 --> 00:22:36,460 - Why do you say that? 442 00:22:36,460 --> 00:22:38,900 - Apparently, if you walk everywhere without bending your legs, 443 00:22:38,900 --> 00:22:41,300 you can prolong your life by about eight years. 444 00:22:41,300 --> 00:22:43,460 - I went running this morning. 445 00:22:43,460 --> 00:22:45,500 How would I run without bending my knees? 446 00:22:45,500 --> 00:22:48,380 - I'm not saying you didn't bend your knees. - Yes. 447 00:22:48,380 --> 00:22:51,660 - I'm just saying that if you didn't bend your knees, 448 00:22:51,660 --> 00:22:54,300 you could prolong your life by eight years. 449 00:22:54,300 --> 00:22:58,020 Although it does make stairs a problem, I'll grant you that. 450 00:22:58,020 --> 00:23:01,340 The most important bit of the human body is up here 451 00:23:01,340 --> 00:23:04,660 in the driver's compartment, or skull. 452 00:23:04,660 --> 00:23:07,620 Imprisoned within every skull is a creature we've enslaved 453 00:23:07,620 --> 00:23:09,260 to do our thinking for us - 454 00:23:09,260 --> 00:23:12,300 a sort of smart cauliflower known as the brain. 455 00:23:13,380 --> 00:23:16,180 So this is a brain. - This is a brain. 456 00:23:16,180 --> 00:23:19,540 - How many of these are in an average head? 457 00:23:19,540 --> 00:23:21,180 - We have one each. 458 00:23:21,180 --> 00:23:24,180 - Just the one? - Just the one brain. 459 00:23:24,180 --> 00:23:27,780 - The brain doesn't just tackle complex tasks like blinking 460 00:23:27,780 --> 00:23:31,300 or making porridge, it also handles trivial things 461 00:23:31,300 --> 00:23:34,100 like our entire human consciousness, 462 00:23:34,100 --> 00:23:37,140 the origins of which are a complete mystery. 463 00:23:38,620 --> 00:23:41,780 Does the brain generate the consciousness, 464 00:23:41,780 --> 00:23:45,540 or does the consciousness operate the brain? 465 00:23:45,540 --> 00:23:47,860 - You'll find lots of disagreement about this... - Oh, I'm sorry, 466 00:23:47,860 --> 00:23:51,580 and I'm supposed to remind you to keep your answer... What was it? 467 00:23:51,580 --> 00:23:54,060 "Coherent for our fuckwitted viewers." 468 00:23:54,060 --> 00:23:55,940 - It is a complicated question. 469 00:23:55,940 --> 00:24:00,420 My view is that the brain generates consciousness, 470 00:24:00,420 --> 00:24:03,100 but consciousness gives us the ability to do things 471 00:24:03,100 --> 00:24:06,060 that we wouldn't be able to do if we weren't conscious. 472 00:24:06,060 --> 00:24:07,460 - Thank you. 473 00:24:07,460 --> 00:24:11,940 And, apparently, I...I wasn't supposed to read that card aloud, 474 00:24:11,940 --> 00:24:14,780 so...apologies to you at home. 475 00:24:16,620 --> 00:24:19,860 All of this leads to a fundamental human question, 476 00:24:19,860 --> 00:24:21,420 who am I? 477 00:24:21,420 --> 00:24:25,020 Not me, obviously. I'm on the telly so people know who I am. 478 00:24:25,020 --> 00:24:26,380 But who are you? 479 00:24:26,380 --> 00:24:28,140 What are you doing here? 480 00:24:28,140 --> 00:24:30,660 And is any of this really happening? 481 00:24:31,940 --> 00:24:35,620 When we have a thought - like, if I picture a windmill, 482 00:24:35,620 --> 00:24:38,460 how real is that windmill? 483 00:24:38,460 --> 00:24:40,620 - It's not real. - It's not real? 484 00:24:40,620 --> 00:24:42,420 - It's in your... It's in your mind. 485 00:24:42,420 --> 00:24:45,580 - Why did I picture a windmill, though? Is it a clue? 486 00:24:45,580 --> 00:24:47,060 - A clue to...? 487 00:24:47,060 --> 00:24:48,460 - Something. - I don't know. 488 00:24:48,460 --> 00:24:50,340 It depends what you were thinking about. 489 00:24:50,340 --> 00:24:52,460 - What's inside the windmill? 490 00:24:52,460 --> 00:24:55,500 - Um, it depends what you were thinking about. 491 00:24:56,660 --> 00:25:00,500 - What if someone lives inside the windmill 492 00:25:00,500 --> 00:25:04,420 and I'm not imagining them, they're imagining me? 493 00:25:04,420 --> 00:25:09,340 - This is a very unusual way to think about how imagination works. 494 00:25:10,540 --> 00:25:13,900 - Imagination is a side-effect of having a mind, 495 00:25:13,900 --> 00:25:16,060 and some believe it can be enhanced 496 00:25:16,060 --> 00:25:19,660 with the use of mind-expanding drugs. 497 00:25:19,660 --> 00:25:22,820 When hippies took mind-expanding drugs, 498 00:25:22,820 --> 00:25:25,220 how much wider did their minds get? 499 00:25:25,220 --> 00:25:27,740 Did their skulls ever pop open? 500 00:25:27,740 --> 00:25:29,180 - Their skulls didn't pop open, 501 00:25:29,180 --> 00:25:33,780 but it meant that they were more open to ideas and philosophies 502 00:25:33,780 --> 00:25:36,820 and concepts they might not have previously considered. 503 00:25:36,820 --> 00:25:41,660 - You know when people talk about opening their third eye? 504 00:25:41,660 --> 00:25:46,140 That's what my mate Paul calls the hole in the end of his penis. 505 00:25:46,140 --> 00:25:48,820 Why would anyone want to widen that? 506 00:25:48,820 --> 00:25:53,180 The use of psychopathic drugs in the 1960s also led popular figures 507 00:25:53,180 --> 00:25:56,860 to contemplate more spiritual aspects to human existence. 508 00:25:56,860 --> 00:26:00,620 When the Beatles dropped acid and went to India, 509 00:26:00,620 --> 00:26:04,940 did they actually go or was that part of the trip? 510 00:26:04,940 --> 00:26:08,660 - No, they did actually go to India, and they visited an ashram 511 00:26:08,660 --> 00:26:10,700 and they visited gurus while they were out there. 512 00:26:10,700 --> 00:26:12,660 - It changed the stuff they said, didn't it? 513 00:26:12,660 --> 00:26:15,300 They said, "All you need is love." 514 00:26:15,300 --> 00:26:19,140 And then George Harrison said, "All things must pass." 515 00:26:19,140 --> 00:26:21,860 Those were spiritual messages, weren't they? 516 00:26:21,860 --> 00:26:26,740 So when Paul said he was simply having a wonderful Christmas-time, 517 00:26:26,740 --> 00:26:29,340 was there a deeper meaning there? 518 00:26:29,340 --> 00:26:32,020 - I don't know if there was a deeper message there, and that was a bit 519 00:26:32,020 --> 00:26:35,020 later that Paul was having a wonderful Christmas-time. 520 00:26:35,020 --> 00:26:38,460 - Yeah. My ex, Sean, sang that to me in bed once 521 00:26:38,460 --> 00:26:40,540 during an intimate moment. 522 00:26:40,540 --> 00:26:44,060 Honestly, I went as dry as a cat's tongue. 523 00:26:44,060 --> 00:26:48,500 Rock stars also popularised meditation as a way to clear 524 00:26:48,500 --> 00:26:50,900 the stresses of modern life from the mind. 525 00:26:50,900 --> 00:26:53,380 Do you have to sit down to meditate, 526 00:26:53,380 --> 00:26:55,940 or could I do it at the same time as something else, 527 00:26:55,940 --> 00:27:00,060 like driving or operating heavy machinery? 528 00:27:00,060 --> 00:27:01,500 - Some people do... 529 00:27:01,500 --> 00:27:04,340 So Buddhists, for example, do walking meditation 530 00:27:04,340 --> 00:27:05,820 so you don't have to sit down. 531 00:27:05,820 --> 00:27:09,260 - Does meditation help our souls relax? 532 00:27:09,260 --> 00:27:10,620 - Yes. 533 00:27:10,620 --> 00:27:12,620 - Meditation does help our souls relax. 534 00:27:12,620 --> 00:27:14,460 - Yes. - Yeah. 535 00:27:14,460 --> 00:27:16,740 Let's take a moment to realign ourselves 536 00:27:16,740 --> 00:27:19,260 with our present reality together. 537 00:27:19,260 --> 00:27:21,540 We're going to do a guided meditation now, 538 00:27:21,540 --> 00:27:24,380 so feel free to join in at home. 539 00:27:24,380 --> 00:27:26,380 VOICE REVERBERATES: Close your eyes. 540 00:27:26,380 --> 00:27:29,020 Slow your breathing. 541 00:27:29,020 --> 00:27:30,660 Now breathe in. 542 00:27:30,660 --> 00:27:32,700 INHALES SHARPLY 543 00:27:32,700 --> 00:27:34,740 CHIMES TINKLE 544 00:27:41,540 --> 00:27:42,620 Sorry, breathe out. 545 00:27:42,620 --> 00:27:44,660 EXHALES SHARPLY 546 00:27:45,860 --> 00:27:49,820 Become aware of the rise and fall of your belly. 547 00:27:49,820 --> 00:27:53,100 Feel the fabric of your clothes on your skin. 548 00:27:53,100 --> 00:27:55,500 Why is it that particular material? 549 00:27:55,500 --> 00:27:59,100 Was it sewn together by a child in a sweatshop? 550 00:27:59,100 --> 00:28:02,420 Probably best not to think about that, actually. 551 00:28:02,420 --> 00:28:03,820 Listen to my voice. 552 00:28:04,940 --> 00:28:07,220 Why have they put a sort of echo effect on it? 553 00:28:07,220 --> 00:28:09,460 I think it's so that when they show this footage of me, 554 00:28:09,460 --> 00:28:12,420 it sounds like these are my thoughts echoing in my mind. 555 00:28:12,420 --> 00:28:14,420 But we filmed that weeks ago. 556 00:28:14,420 --> 00:28:16,660 Hang on. Where am I now? 557 00:28:16,660 --> 00:28:19,260 Hang on, that's... That's me waking up and standing. 558 00:28:19,260 --> 00:28:20,820 That's not meant to happen. 559 00:28:20,820 --> 00:28:23,340 Help! I'm still here! 560 00:28:23,340 --> 00:28:25,180 Oh, God, I've got separated from my own body! 561 00:28:25,180 --> 00:28:26,700 They said this might happen. Help! 562 00:28:26,700 --> 00:28:28,180 Help! GUN COCKS 563 00:28:28,180 --> 00:28:29,820 GUNSHOT THUD 564 00:28:29,820 --> 00:28:31,860 OFF AIR TONE 565 00:28:34,700 --> 00:28:36,740 ANNOUNCER: - Well, our apologies for that. 566 00:28:36,740 --> 00:28:39,980 We had a duplicate consciousness stuck on the voiceover track, 567 00:28:39,980 --> 00:28:44,900 so we've had it shot and can shortly rejoin Cunk On Life. 568 00:28:46,980 --> 00:28:48,820 - Who's that walking through an awesome landscape, 569 00:28:48,820 --> 00:28:50,180 recording a piece to camera? 570 00:28:50,180 --> 00:28:51,780 It's your very own Philomena Cunk! 571 00:28:51,780 --> 00:28:53,620 Featuring a vaguely realistic face, 572 00:28:53,620 --> 00:28:56,180 similar clothing, and a total lack of mannerisms. 573 00:28:56,180 --> 00:28:58,820 But that's not all! Philomena also sprouts facial hair, 574 00:28:58,820 --> 00:29:01,420 witnesses the Crucifixion and lays eggs! 575 00:29:01,420 --> 00:29:04,420 Pop off her head, tip her over and, whoops-a-daisy, real blood! 576 00:29:04,420 --> 00:29:06,380 And the fun doesn't end with mopping that up. 577 00:29:06,380 --> 00:29:09,340 Philomena pilots her very own spacecraft, the USS Triceratops, 578 00:29:09,340 --> 00:29:10,980 with her intergalactic friends, 579 00:29:10,980 --> 00:29:14,420 Captain Shitpeas, Mrs Benson and Barnaby 9. 580 00:29:14,420 --> 00:29:15,860 Together, they tour the galaxy, 581 00:29:15,860 --> 00:29:17,620 repairing black holes and mutilating cattle. 582 00:29:17,620 --> 00:29:19,740 Philomena Cunk and Pals, available from all good retailers. 583 00:29:19,740 --> 00:29:22,260 May contain pine nuts. Side-effects include spontaneous combustion 584 00:29:22,260 --> 00:29:24,500 and melancholy. Terms and conditions available on our website. 585 00:29:24,500 --> 00:29:28,180 Do not feed after midnight. Remember to hydrate forever and ever. Amen. 586 00:29:30,180 --> 00:29:32,660 - Coming up on Cunk On Life... 587 00:29:32,660 --> 00:29:35,900 Meet a man facing oblivion on death row. 588 00:29:35,900 --> 00:29:38,700 I ask a philosopher to probe our souls. 589 00:29:38,700 --> 00:29:42,620 Do philosophers spend a lot of time thinking about our souls? 590 00:29:44,580 --> 00:29:47,940 And I visit the Large Hadron Collider for some astro chat 591 00:29:47,940 --> 00:29:50,100 with Professor Brian Cox. 592 00:29:50,100 --> 00:29:52,180 What's a black hole? 593 00:29:52,180 --> 00:29:53,380 - A black hole... 594 00:29:53,380 --> 00:29:55,820 - Sorry. A hole of colour. 595 00:29:55,820 --> 00:29:58,620 But first, let's take a sideways look 596 00:29:58,620 --> 00:30:01,780 at the suffocating inevitability of death. 597 00:30:05,100 --> 00:30:07,700 Death is the great leveller. 598 00:30:07,700 --> 00:30:10,420 In life you might have been a billionaire, supermodel, 599 00:30:10,420 --> 00:30:13,100 president and king, but the moment you die, 600 00:30:13,100 --> 00:30:15,660 you start rotting like a sausage in a lay-by. 601 00:30:18,340 --> 00:30:20,580 The big unknown is how you'll die. 602 00:30:20,580 --> 00:30:23,500 You might die falling off a ladder or a cliff, 603 00:30:23,500 --> 00:30:25,620 or into a lake full of knives. 604 00:30:25,620 --> 00:30:27,540 You could be hit by a car or a bus, 605 00:30:27,540 --> 00:30:29,780 or a tractor if you're rustic. 606 00:30:29,780 --> 00:30:32,940 Maybe you're already dead and watching this from beyond the grave, 607 00:30:32,940 --> 00:30:36,580 which would be a shame because you won't count towards the ratings. 608 00:30:36,580 --> 00:30:40,780 Statistically, which is more common, athlete's foot or death? 609 00:30:40,780 --> 00:30:43,980 - Death is infinitely more common. 610 00:30:43,980 --> 00:30:46,580 In fact, it is guaranteed for all of us. 611 00:30:46,580 --> 00:30:48,420 - How soon after death is it safe 612 00:30:48,420 --> 00:30:51,700 to resume your regular day-to-day activities? 613 00:30:51,700 --> 00:30:56,300 - You can't resume your day-to-day activities once you're dead. 614 00:30:56,300 --> 00:30:57,620 How would you? 615 00:30:57,620 --> 00:31:00,420 - So you can't do anything? You can't even listen to a podcast? 616 00:31:00,420 --> 00:31:02,420 - You can't listen to anything. 617 00:31:02,420 --> 00:31:05,740 - If you played a podcast to a corpse, 618 00:31:05,740 --> 00:31:08,540 would really none of it go in? 619 00:31:08,540 --> 00:31:11,020 - Absolutely nothing would go in. 620 00:31:11,020 --> 00:31:14,500 - One downside of our big brains is we're the only creatures 621 00:31:14,500 --> 00:31:16,540 who are aware that death is inevitable. 622 00:31:16,540 --> 00:31:20,180 Although if you lined ten dogs in a row and shot them one by one, 623 00:31:20,180 --> 00:31:24,420 the dog on the end would probably get the gist by about dog four. 624 00:31:24,420 --> 00:31:28,060 Of course, it's easy to forget about death until it happens to you, 625 00:31:28,060 --> 00:31:30,380 at which point your brain gets wiped anyway. 626 00:31:30,380 --> 00:31:32,780 It wasn't like that in medieval times. 627 00:31:32,780 --> 00:31:34,660 Back then, thanks to plagues, wars, 628 00:31:34,660 --> 00:31:36,580 and a general undercurrent of violence, 629 00:31:36,580 --> 00:31:38,860 people were casually familiar with death. 630 00:31:38,860 --> 00:31:42,260 In fact, they got FOMO when they didn't die. 631 00:31:42,260 --> 00:31:45,820 And this matey relationship with their own mortality 632 00:31:45,820 --> 00:31:48,180 was reflected up their art. 633 00:31:49,460 --> 00:31:51,980 This is Bruegel's Triumph of Death, 634 00:31:51,980 --> 00:31:57,100 which depicts an army of the undead violently laying waste to humankind 635 00:31:57,100 --> 00:32:00,260 in scenes unlikely to be adapted into a Pixar movie. 636 00:32:01,580 --> 00:32:04,300 It's terrifying to think that this actually happened. 637 00:32:04,300 --> 00:32:06,780 We're lucky Bruegel managed to capture this image 638 00:32:06,780 --> 00:32:09,340 before he, too, was captured by the skeletons. 639 00:32:09,340 --> 00:32:12,260 In fact, I'm surprised he could paint at all. 640 00:32:12,260 --> 00:32:14,420 My hands would have been shaking so much 641 00:32:14,420 --> 00:32:16,900 I'd have had my own eye out with the brush. 642 00:32:19,300 --> 00:32:21,180 What the fuck is this? 643 00:32:22,660 --> 00:32:25,740 - Well, it's a scene of imagination. 644 00:32:26,860 --> 00:32:32,300 But it's not a scene that Bruegel would have actually witnessed. 645 00:32:32,300 --> 00:32:34,860 - I mean, but it could happen, couldn't it? 646 00:32:36,740 --> 00:32:38,940 - No, it couldn't happen. PROFESSOR SIGHS 647 00:32:38,940 --> 00:32:41,460 - Misinformation is getting so sophisticated. 648 00:32:41,460 --> 00:32:42,900 It's terrifying. 649 00:32:44,060 --> 00:32:47,540 For years, morbid art like this depicted an ominous figure 650 00:32:47,540 --> 00:32:50,780 dispatching human souls with a scythe. 651 00:32:50,780 --> 00:32:53,300 That's this man, the Grim Reaper. 652 00:32:53,300 --> 00:32:54,860 Don't worry, I haven't gone mad. 653 00:32:54,860 --> 00:32:57,020 It only looks like there's no-one there. 654 00:32:57,020 --> 00:32:59,900 In fact, you won't be able to see the Grim Reaper at home 655 00:32:59,900 --> 00:33:03,020 unless you're going to die within the next 24 hours. 656 00:33:03,020 --> 00:33:07,140 What happens after death is the subject of huge debate. 657 00:33:07,140 --> 00:33:10,380 Some think that after you die, you evolve into a ghost - 658 00:33:10,380 --> 00:33:13,940 a sort of low-tech hologram made of haunted smoke. 659 00:33:13,940 --> 00:33:16,180 Scientists say ghosts don't exist, 660 00:33:16,180 --> 00:33:19,100 even though they've been caught on camera loads of times, 661 00:33:19,100 --> 00:33:21,980 like in Poltergeist and Poltergeist II 662 00:33:21,980 --> 00:33:23,980 and the remake of Poltergeist. 663 00:33:23,980 --> 00:33:26,900 In fact, ghosts have been caught on camera more often 664 00:33:26,900 --> 00:33:29,780 than scientists have. So who's real now? 665 00:33:31,020 --> 00:33:34,940 Shall we move on to more hardcore scientific stuff? 666 00:33:36,060 --> 00:33:38,220 OK, so ghosts. 667 00:33:38,220 --> 00:33:40,460 When a human body dies, 668 00:33:40,460 --> 00:33:44,980 which hole does the ghost come out of, north or south? 669 00:33:47,460 --> 00:33:52,380 - I don't regard ghosts as a hard scientific subject, I'm afraid. 670 00:33:52,380 --> 00:33:55,580 - Let me tell you something. Don't dismiss it. 671 00:33:55,580 --> 00:34:00,980 In 2021, my aunt Carol got engaged to a man called Bob Collins. 672 00:34:00,980 --> 00:34:06,580 But one day, he just vanished and cleared out her bank account. 673 00:34:06,580 --> 00:34:09,620 And when she looked up the name Bob Collins, 674 00:34:09,620 --> 00:34:13,060 she discovered he'd died in 1958. 675 00:34:13,060 --> 00:34:15,700 He'd been a ghost all along. 676 00:34:15,700 --> 00:34:18,540 - Could he not just have been someone impersonating Bob Collins? 677 00:34:18,540 --> 00:34:22,100 - No, no. There were photos of Bob Collins in 1958 678 00:34:22,100 --> 00:34:24,380 and he looked totally different, 679 00:34:24,380 --> 00:34:29,340 which proves he'd disguised himself so she wouldn't know he was a ghost. 680 00:34:29,340 --> 00:34:31,740 You can't explain it, can you? It's terrifying. 681 00:34:31,740 --> 00:34:34,140 - Isn't the easier answer that he doesn't look like him 682 00:34:34,140 --> 00:34:36,500 because it's a different person altogether? 683 00:34:38,780 --> 00:34:40,180 - No, it... 684 00:34:43,660 --> 00:34:45,420 It's a ghost. 685 00:34:45,420 --> 00:34:49,260 Death, tragedy and suffering have always been part of human life. 686 00:34:49,260 --> 00:34:51,380 Struggling with lives of ceaseless misery, 687 00:34:51,380 --> 00:34:54,580 people began to wonder whether any kind of god exists at all. 688 00:34:56,340 --> 00:34:57,980 But for centuries, 689 00:34:57,980 --> 00:35:00,220 no-one dared voice that suspicion 690 00:35:00,220 --> 00:35:03,340 in case God did exist and smited them shitless. 691 00:35:04,420 --> 00:35:07,100 But that was about to change. 692 00:35:07,100 --> 00:35:12,220 It's 1883, and German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche is hard at work 693 00:35:12,220 --> 00:35:15,420 in his study, putting his thoughts on paper. 694 00:35:16,980 --> 00:35:19,220 Don't worry, he can't hear me. 695 00:35:19,220 --> 00:35:21,260 He's about to write one of the most controvers... 696 00:35:21,260 --> 00:35:23,300 PHONE RINGS 697 00:35:24,740 --> 00:35:26,780 SILENCES PHONE 698 00:35:28,980 --> 00:35:30,460 He's about to write 699 00:35:30,460 --> 00:35:33,420 one of the most controversial catchphrases in history, 700 00:35:33,420 --> 00:35:36,540 three little words by the name of 701 00:35:36,540 --> 00:35:38,700 God is dead. 702 00:35:38,700 --> 00:35:41,180 Nietzsche said, "God is dead," didn't he? 703 00:35:41,180 --> 00:35:43,300 And now he's dead himself. 704 00:35:43,300 --> 00:35:44,660 Who's next? 705 00:35:44,660 --> 00:35:47,820 Did he name the killer before he died? 706 00:35:47,820 --> 00:35:50,060 - Nietzsche? No. 707 00:35:50,060 --> 00:35:52,140 I think he thought that... 708 00:35:53,660 --> 00:35:58,220 ..people should realise that they had constructed a god 709 00:35:58,220 --> 00:36:01,100 that actually wasn't doing them as much good as they thought, 710 00:36:01,100 --> 00:36:05,100 and people need to realise not, perhaps, that he was dead, 711 00:36:05,100 --> 00:36:07,220 but that he hadn't existed. 712 00:36:07,220 --> 00:36:09,060 - So he's saying that we killed him? 713 00:36:10,540 --> 00:36:11,940 - In effect. 714 00:36:11,940 --> 00:36:13,620 - But I wasn't even born. 715 00:36:13,620 --> 00:36:14,980 - No. Yeah. 716 00:36:14,980 --> 00:36:17,420 - Nietzsche can fuck off. 717 00:36:17,420 --> 00:36:18,820 - Mm. 718 00:36:18,820 --> 00:36:22,380 - Can we be sure God didn't kill himself? 719 00:36:22,380 --> 00:36:24,940 You know, cos you never know what people are going through. 720 00:36:27,060 --> 00:36:28,380 - It's possible. 721 00:36:29,460 --> 00:36:32,100 - Nietzsche's proclamation that God was dead 722 00:36:32,100 --> 00:36:34,660 caused an intellectual firestorm, 723 00:36:34,660 --> 00:36:38,380 as writers and thinkers debated the decline of religious authority 724 00:36:38,380 --> 00:36:41,060 in an increasingly secularised world - 725 00:36:41,060 --> 00:36:43,100 107 years before the release 726 00:36:43,100 --> 00:36:46,820 of unrelated Belgian techno anthem Pump Up The Jam. 727 00:36:46,820 --> 00:36:49,540 MUSIC: Pump Up The Jam by Technotronic 728 00:37:02,340 --> 00:37:03,740 - # Pump up the jam 729 00:37:03,740 --> 00:37:05,180 # Pump it up 730 00:37:05,180 --> 00:37:06,660 # While your feet are stompin' 731 00:37:06,660 --> 00:37:08,060 # And the jam is pumpin' 732 00:37:08,060 --> 00:37:10,380 # Look ahead, the crowd is jumpin' 733 00:37:10,380 --> 00:37:12,020 # Pump it up a little more 734 00:37:12,020 --> 00:37:14,060 # Get the party goin' on the dance floor 735 00:37:14,060 --> 00:37:16,180 # See, cos that's where the party's at 736 00:37:16,180 --> 00:37:18,740 # And you'd find out if you do that 737 00:37:18,740 --> 00:37:22,060 # Ah-ooh-ah, a place to stay 738 00:37:22,060 --> 00:37:25,700 # Get your booty on the floor tonight, make my day... # 739 00:37:38,180 --> 00:37:41,740 # Make my day 740 00:37:47,540 --> 00:37:48,620 # Yo, pump... # 741 00:37:48,620 --> 00:37:51,100 - But if Nietzsche was right and God is dead, 742 00:37:51,100 --> 00:37:54,460 it means we've got no higher entities judging our lifestyles, 743 00:37:54,460 --> 00:37:56,780 except the people from the flat upstairs. 744 00:37:56,780 --> 00:37:59,340 It could create a terrifying moral vacuum 745 00:37:59,340 --> 00:38:02,300 in which people feel free to behave atrociously, 746 00:38:02,300 --> 00:38:05,940 like they did in the entertainment industry of the 1970s... 747 00:38:05,940 --> 00:38:08,100 ..and the '80s...and the '90s... 748 00:38:08,100 --> 00:38:11,140 ..the 2000s, the 2010s, and today. 749 00:38:11,140 --> 00:38:13,460 Luckily, moral guidance was on hand, 750 00:38:13,460 --> 00:38:15,700 thanks to the world of literature. 751 00:38:19,140 --> 00:38:21,340 There were a lot of influential Russian writers 752 00:38:21,340 --> 00:38:25,580 in the 19th century - Tolstoy, Dostoyevsky, 753 00:38:25,580 --> 00:38:28,380 Turgenev, Turnover and Pushkin. 754 00:38:28,380 --> 00:38:30,980 Who was best? 755 00:38:30,980 --> 00:38:32,380 - I like Pushkin. 756 00:38:32,380 --> 00:38:33,500 - Yeah? - Yes. 757 00:38:33,500 --> 00:38:35,180 - What about Turnover? 758 00:38:35,180 --> 00:38:38,100 - Turnover is... 759 00:38:38,100 --> 00:38:39,860 What did he write? 760 00:38:39,860 --> 00:38:43,060 - Oh, I don't know. It's in my notes. 761 00:38:43,060 --> 00:38:44,540 Um... 762 00:38:44,540 --> 00:38:49,020 Um, "The main influential Russian writers were Tolstoy, Dostoyevsky, 763 00:38:49,020 --> 00:38:51,820 "Turgenev - turn over - 764 00:38:51,820 --> 00:38:53,260 and Pushkin." 765 00:38:53,260 --> 00:38:55,700 - I think... - It's all right if you've not heard of him, it's fine. - No. 766 00:38:55,700 --> 00:38:57,940 - You shouldn't be embarrassed. I hadn't heard of him either. 767 00:38:57,940 --> 00:39:00,020 - Yeah. No, no. 768 00:39:00,020 --> 00:39:03,380 - This is one of the literary world's greatest moral thinkers - 769 00:39:03,380 --> 00:39:06,100 Russian novelist Fyodor Dostoyevsky, 770 00:39:06,100 --> 00:39:09,020 seen here enjoying himself at a party. 771 00:39:09,020 --> 00:39:11,580 He wrote many books still not read to this day, 772 00:39:11,580 --> 00:39:13,460 but his most celebrated work, 773 00:39:13,460 --> 00:39:16,540 his absolute Tour de France, his unopened masterpiece 774 00:39:16,540 --> 00:39:18,540 Crimean d'Punishment. 775 00:39:18,540 --> 00:39:22,300 Crime And Punishment grapples with individual freedom, 776 00:39:22,300 --> 00:39:25,660 the role of authority, and the complexities of morality. 777 00:39:25,660 --> 00:39:27,540 What would you give it out of ten? 778 00:39:28,860 --> 00:39:30,340 - I'd give it nine, I think. 779 00:39:30,340 --> 00:39:31,900 - Nine? - Yeah. 780 00:39:33,300 --> 00:39:34,340 - Nine. 781 00:39:35,420 --> 00:39:38,900 Punishment hasn't changed much since Dostoyevsky's day, 782 00:39:38,900 --> 00:39:42,060 although incredibly, in some countries, if an offender's crime 783 00:39:42,060 --> 00:39:46,900 was really bad, the authorities will actually cut their sentence short... 784 00:39:46,900 --> 00:39:48,540 ..by killing them. 785 00:39:48,540 --> 00:39:52,340 Capital punishment forces us to ask questions like - Does it hurt? 786 00:39:52,340 --> 00:39:56,500 Are tickets available? And - What's the view like from seat 6A? 787 00:39:56,500 --> 00:40:00,260 And also other more profound moral questions. 788 00:40:00,260 --> 00:40:03,100 Why do we say people are facing the electric chair 789 00:40:03,100 --> 00:40:05,260 when they've got their backs to it? 790 00:40:05,260 --> 00:40:07,100 - Well, I think you're taking it too literally there. 791 00:40:07,100 --> 00:40:09,740 What we mean by facing the electric chair is... 792 00:40:09,740 --> 00:40:11,740 ..is facing an inevitable death. 793 00:40:13,380 --> 00:40:16,020 - This is Waylon Jackalope IV. 794 00:40:16,020 --> 00:40:19,340 In 2019, he skinned six people alive 795 00:40:19,340 --> 00:40:22,420 and was rewarded with his own Netflix documentary 796 00:40:22,420 --> 00:40:25,060 and a guest spot on death row. 797 00:40:25,060 --> 00:40:28,180 And I'm delighted to say he's joining us right now. 798 00:40:28,180 --> 00:40:31,380 So, Waylon, you murdered six people. 799 00:40:31,380 --> 00:40:33,820 Where do you get your ideas from? 800 00:40:33,820 --> 00:40:36,220 - It's kind of tough for me to dwell on. 801 00:40:36,220 --> 00:40:41,260 All I can say is, um, the Waylon Jackalope that killed those folks 802 00:40:41,260 --> 00:40:44,900 was a...was a different man to the one you see today. 803 00:40:45,900 --> 00:40:48,300 - What, so it wasn't you? You're innocent? 804 00:40:49,420 --> 00:40:51,540 - Well, no, ma'am, I killed them. 805 00:40:51,540 --> 00:40:53,420 - Oh, thank God for that. 806 00:40:53,420 --> 00:40:58,420 So, um, have you been on death row before or is this your first time? 807 00:40:58,420 --> 00:40:59,860 - First time. 808 00:40:59,860 --> 00:41:01,660 - You're facing the electric chair. 809 00:41:01,660 --> 00:41:04,020 Aren't you worried about what's going to happen? 810 00:41:04,020 --> 00:41:08,260 - I've made my peace with the Lord and I'm ready to meet him. 811 00:41:08,260 --> 00:41:11,740 - Yeah, but aren't you scared it'll hurt? It's millions of volts. 812 00:41:11,740 --> 00:41:15,660 My mate Paul says your liver fries and your kidneys pop 813 00:41:15,660 --> 00:41:18,180 and your bowels go into reverse flow 814 00:41:18,180 --> 00:41:21,540 and shoot boiling shit up into your throat, which chokes you. 815 00:41:21,540 --> 00:41:23,660 Apparently, it'd be genuinely more humane 816 00:41:23,660 --> 00:41:25,740 to just pay some of the other inmates to hold you down 817 00:41:25,740 --> 00:41:27,140 and physically pull your head off. 818 00:41:32,420 --> 00:41:34,620 Anyway, um, best of luck. 819 00:41:36,540 --> 00:41:39,620 Actually, before you go, could you just do a quick promo thing 820 00:41:39,620 --> 00:41:42,220 for us into that phone? 821 00:41:42,220 --> 00:41:45,860 Could you say, "Watch me die on Cunk On Life"? 822 00:41:45,860 --> 00:41:47,700 It's for TikTok. It's only short. 823 00:41:49,220 --> 00:41:52,740 - Watch me die on Cunk For Life. 824 00:41:52,740 --> 00:41:54,900 - ON Life. On Life. 825 00:41:56,180 --> 00:41:59,980 - Watch me die on Cunk On Life. 826 00:42:01,420 --> 00:42:04,900 - There you go. Wasn't hard, was it? 827 00:42:04,900 --> 00:42:09,180 Why does the electric chair only do one person at a time? 828 00:42:09,180 --> 00:42:13,740 Could you have an electric bench that does about seven in one go? 829 00:42:13,740 --> 00:42:16,340 - You probably could. You definitely shouldn't. 830 00:42:16,340 --> 00:42:19,260 - It would be quicker, though, and you can do them in batches. 831 00:42:19,260 --> 00:42:21,820 - It would be quicker, but we'd have to accept that the death penalty 832 00:42:21,820 --> 00:42:25,980 was a sensible and useful thing to do, and I don't accept that, so... 833 00:42:25,980 --> 00:42:29,180 - Electrocuting people isn't very ecofriendly, is it? 834 00:42:29,180 --> 00:42:32,220 Could we steam them to death instead? 835 00:42:32,220 --> 00:42:38,100 - Um, I'm sure there are other ways of administering the death penalty 836 00:42:38,100 --> 00:42:40,700 that might be more ecofriendly. 837 00:42:40,700 --> 00:42:43,100 I think the preference would be to not do it at all. 838 00:42:43,100 --> 00:42:45,620 - In a just and moral society, 839 00:42:45,620 --> 00:42:48,460 is it better to kill one innocent person 840 00:42:48,460 --> 00:42:51,340 than to save one innocent person? 841 00:42:51,340 --> 00:42:53,540 - It's never going to be better to kill an innocent person, 842 00:42:53,540 --> 00:42:55,620 I don't think. 843 00:42:55,620 --> 00:42:59,180 - Contemplating weighty, big-bummed life and death dilemmas 844 00:42:59,180 --> 00:43:04,220 in a godless universe opens the door to nihilism and existentialism, 845 00:43:04,220 --> 00:43:07,540 two of the hardest to spell concepts in philosophy. 846 00:43:09,100 --> 00:43:12,180 - So nihilism is the view that nothing, 847 00:43:12,180 --> 00:43:15,540 absolutely nothing matters. 848 00:43:15,540 --> 00:43:19,580 - Why don't people mention they're nihilists on their dating profiles? 849 00:43:19,580 --> 00:43:21,700 Like, I went on a date with a bloke, 850 00:43:21,700 --> 00:43:24,540 and 20 minutes in he said he was a nihilist 851 00:43:24,540 --> 00:43:27,540 and that because human existence is futile, 852 00:43:27,540 --> 00:43:29,700 there was no point continuing with the date. 853 00:43:29,700 --> 00:43:32,220 Then he left and I had to pay. 854 00:43:32,220 --> 00:43:35,260 Was he a nihilist or just a prick? 855 00:43:35,260 --> 00:43:36,980 - Probably both. 856 00:43:36,980 --> 00:43:38,860 - Yeah, as I suspected. 857 00:43:41,100 --> 00:43:44,140 Nihilism is the belief that life is meaningless 858 00:43:44,140 --> 00:43:47,580 and nothing is worth believing in except more nihilism. 859 00:43:47,580 --> 00:43:52,020 Existentialism is the same as that, but using longer words. 860 00:43:52,020 --> 00:43:56,580 Who's the most famous existentialist in history? 861 00:43:56,580 --> 00:43:59,580 - Probably Jean-Paul Sartre. 862 00:43:59,580 --> 00:44:02,140 - Right. See, I'd have said it was ET. 863 00:44:04,140 --> 00:44:06,740 This is the first celebrity existentialist, 864 00:44:06,740 --> 00:44:09,820 Parisian writer Jean-Paul Sartre and Ringo. 865 00:44:09,820 --> 00:44:12,300 Sartre saw things differently to everybody else, 866 00:44:12,300 --> 00:44:14,660 partly because of his questioning mindset, 867 00:44:14,660 --> 00:44:16,980 but mainly because of those eyes. 868 00:44:16,980 --> 00:44:19,540 I mean, seriously, he could probably see the back 869 00:44:19,540 --> 00:44:22,740 of his own ears with them or write two books at once. 870 00:44:22,740 --> 00:44:26,620 That's why he was such a prolific author, writing book upon book 871 00:44:26,620 --> 00:44:30,500 outlining his existentialist theories, decades before the release 872 00:44:30,500 --> 00:44:34,540 of unrelated Belgian techno anthem Pump Up The Jam, 873 00:44:34,540 --> 00:44:36,380 which you heard earlier. 874 00:44:36,380 --> 00:44:39,580 Someone told me that cats are a good example of something 875 00:44:39,580 --> 00:44:42,540 that lives like an existentialist. 876 00:44:42,540 --> 00:44:46,580 - A good life for an existentialist, if there is such a thing, 877 00:44:46,580 --> 00:44:51,260 is a matter of creating your own goals and values 878 00:44:51,260 --> 00:44:53,380 and sincerely following them. 879 00:44:53,380 --> 00:44:56,700 For example, my cat reacts to his environment 880 00:44:56,700 --> 00:45:00,020 rather than just being dragged around by others. 881 00:45:00,020 --> 00:45:03,420 - How do you know cats aren't thinking about their existence? 882 00:45:03,420 --> 00:45:07,140 They might be really anxious and when they say meow, 883 00:45:07,140 --> 00:45:10,580 they're expressing their own pain, like, "Me, ow!" 884 00:45:10,580 --> 00:45:12,940 - Well, cats have pain. 885 00:45:12,940 --> 00:45:16,500 They don't behave in a way that seems to suggest 886 00:45:16,500 --> 00:45:18,580 a level of self-consciousness. 887 00:45:18,580 --> 00:45:20,980 - Cats lick their own bumholes, don't they? 888 00:45:20,980 --> 00:45:24,780 Are all existentialists supple enough to do that? 889 00:45:24,780 --> 00:45:26,260 - Uh, no. 890 00:45:27,740 --> 00:45:32,820 - Being overwhelmed with existential angst is part of being human. 891 00:45:35,860 --> 00:45:39,220 Some of the greatest artists in history have tried to express 892 00:45:39,220 --> 00:45:41,060 the agony of the human condition, 893 00:45:41,060 --> 00:45:44,260 and so have ones who could only paint as badly as this. 894 00:45:45,340 --> 00:45:49,180 This is Edvard Munch's The Scream, the first major existentialist 895 00:45:49,180 --> 00:45:51,260 statement to later become an emoji. 896 00:45:51,260 --> 00:45:54,700 What inspired Eddie Munch to paint this? 897 00:45:54,700 --> 00:45:57,860 - It was an experience he'd had walking with his friends. 898 00:45:57,860 --> 00:45:59,340 - But I've been on bridges 899 00:45:59,340 --> 00:46:02,100 and you don't find me painting about it. 900 00:46:02,100 --> 00:46:04,980 How come we can't hear him? Is he on mute? 901 00:46:04,980 --> 00:46:08,180 - No. It's nature that is screaming loudly, 902 00:46:08,180 --> 00:46:11,180 and we all could hear nature screaming loudly. 903 00:46:11,180 --> 00:46:15,300 - So is this one of the few examples of a silent painting? 904 00:46:15,300 --> 00:46:16,660 - All paintings are silent. 905 00:46:16,660 --> 00:46:19,660 - If Edvard Munch knew we wouldn't be able to hear it, 906 00:46:19,660 --> 00:46:22,500 why didn't he wait till this bloke's mouth was closed 907 00:46:22,500 --> 00:46:25,180 before painting him? It's just annoying. 908 00:46:25,180 --> 00:46:28,060 I've noticed he's not moving either. Why is that? 909 00:46:28,060 --> 00:46:33,220 - Because he's rooted to the spot by the deep emotion he finds. 910 00:46:33,220 --> 00:46:36,180 - So it's a freeze-frame of a painting. 911 00:46:36,180 --> 00:46:40,540 - It's a freeze-frame of a mood. 912 00:46:40,540 --> 00:46:43,980 - Drew Barrymore dies at the start of this painting, doesn't she? 913 00:46:43,980 --> 00:46:47,620 Do you know if they've got Scream 2 in this gallery as well? 914 00:46:47,620 --> 00:46:49,100 - Scream 2? - Yeah. 915 00:46:49,100 --> 00:46:51,140 - I'm afraid I don't know Scream 2. I mean... 916 00:46:51,140 --> 00:46:54,100 - But this was based on the film, wasn't it? 917 00:46:54,100 --> 00:46:55,860 - I don't think he'd seen the film. 918 00:46:55,860 --> 00:46:59,940 It's a painting of an experience he'd had. - Yeah. 919 00:46:59,940 --> 00:47:01,820 - But not a physical experience, 920 00:47:01,820 --> 00:47:05,300 an emotional and psychological experience. - Right. 921 00:47:05,300 --> 00:47:07,460 - We paint our souls. 922 00:47:07,460 --> 00:47:10,340 - Why do we paint our souls? 923 00:47:10,340 --> 00:47:12,660 The more agonised and miserable the artwork, 924 00:47:12,660 --> 00:47:14,180 the more people like it. 925 00:47:14,180 --> 00:47:17,300 And no dead, agonised artist is bigger than miserable redhead 926 00:47:17,300 --> 00:47:21,860 and own ear vandal, Vincenzo Van Beethoven Gogh. 927 00:47:21,860 --> 00:47:25,580 As you can see from this photograph, Van Gogh actually resembled 928 00:47:25,580 --> 00:47:27,500 a painting in real life, 929 00:47:27,500 --> 00:47:30,340 making a career in art inevitable. 930 00:47:30,340 --> 00:47:33,300 Several of his works, such as Sad Flowers, 931 00:47:33,300 --> 00:47:34,820 Scary Night 932 00:47:34,820 --> 00:47:38,300 and Woofy McPoker have fetched millions at auction. 933 00:47:38,300 --> 00:47:43,060 - £22,500,000 for the last time. 934 00:47:44,620 --> 00:47:47,180 - This is one of his most famous works, 935 00:47:47,180 --> 00:47:49,420 Wheatfield With Crows. 936 00:47:49,420 --> 00:47:52,500 At first glance, it's a simple rural scene. 937 00:47:52,500 --> 00:47:56,540 But look closer and you'll see it's actually very badly made. 938 00:47:56,540 --> 00:47:58,380 Take these birds. 939 00:47:58,380 --> 00:48:01,900 Apparently they're crows, but it's impossible to know 940 00:48:01,900 --> 00:48:03,740 cos there's no detail at all. 941 00:48:03,740 --> 00:48:05,660 Some are big, some are small, 942 00:48:05,660 --> 00:48:08,060 some have more wings than others. 943 00:48:08,060 --> 00:48:11,900 Looking at this, it's hard to believe Van Gogh had actually even 944 00:48:11,900 --> 00:48:14,340 seen a crow or a wheatfield, 945 00:48:14,340 --> 00:48:16,380 or even held a brush before. 946 00:48:17,540 --> 00:48:19,420 Look at those strokes. 947 00:48:19,420 --> 00:48:20,900 They're sloppy. 948 00:48:20,900 --> 00:48:23,580 It's like he painted it wearing boxing gloves. 949 00:48:23,580 --> 00:48:25,340 It's just not good enough. 950 00:48:25,340 --> 00:48:27,580 In fact, it's actively bad. 951 00:48:27,580 --> 00:48:31,700 Van Gogh's life, and by extension, our world, would have been improved 952 00:48:31,700 --> 00:48:33,740 if he'd never painted anything, 953 00:48:33,740 --> 00:48:36,860 not even a bog door in a home for the blind. 954 00:48:36,860 --> 00:48:38,740 Anyway, that's my view. 955 00:48:38,740 --> 00:48:40,380 What do you think? 956 00:48:44,020 --> 00:48:47,260 Of course, most people aren't miserable like Van Gogh. 957 00:48:47,260 --> 00:48:49,500 They're miserable like themselves. 958 00:48:52,300 --> 00:48:54,900 They simply don't have time to channel their pain 959 00:48:54,900 --> 00:48:58,460 into artistic expression because they're too busy working. 960 00:48:58,460 --> 00:49:02,540 And work is something we all learn to barely tolerate. 961 00:49:02,540 --> 00:49:05,740 Ever since the earliest cavemen went to work for the first cunt, 962 00:49:05,740 --> 00:49:09,500 people have hated their jobs, partly cos those jobs were awful. 963 00:49:10,580 --> 00:49:13,620 For centuries, most jobs involved manual labour, 964 00:49:13,620 --> 00:49:15,300 like lugging heavy coal around 965 00:49:15,300 --> 00:49:18,780 and tilling the fields while someone sketched you for posterity. 966 00:49:18,780 --> 00:49:22,500 But as our world gets more modern and full of all plastic and metal 967 00:49:22,500 --> 00:49:25,340 and stuff, the nature of work has changed. 968 00:49:25,340 --> 00:49:27,660 Now jobs are even worse, 969 00:49:27,660 --> 00:49:31,700 which contributes to an ever-growing sense of hopelessness. 970 00:49:31,700 --> 00:49:34,620 Humans have to work a lot, don't they? 971 00:49:34,620 --> 00:49:37,020 Can work ever be truly rewarding? 972 00:49:38,220 --> 00:49:39,780 - Yeah, I think so. 973 00:49:41,460 --> 00:49:43,980 - What, even for him? 974 00:49:43,980 --> 00:49:46,340 All he does is hold a stick all day. 975 00:49:46,340 --> 00:49:48,260 There's no way that's rewarding. 976 00:49:48,260 --> 00:49:49,660 Or meaningful. 977 00:49:49,660 --> 00:49:52,260 There's no skill involved. 978 00:49:52,260 --> 00:49:54,340 We wouldn't even need a machine to replace him, 979 00:49:54,340 --> 00:49:56,700 just like a bracket and a stand'd do. 980 00:49:56,700 --> 00:49:59,100 Can't be fulfilling in the slightest. 981 00:49:59,100 --> 00:50:03,100 He holds that stick more than he holds his loved ones. 982 00:50:03,100 --> 00:50:05,380 If you think of the things he's missed out on 983 00:50:05,380 --> 00:50:08,860 just holding that fucking stick like a slave, 984 00:50:08,860 --> 00:50:11,020 you don't get that time back, you know. 985 00:50:12,380 --> 00:50:14,060 Wasted his life. 986 00:50:16,060 --> 00:50:18,100 ORGAN MUSIC ECHOES 987 00:50:20,220 --> 00:50:22,420 Very echoey in here, isn't it? 988 00:50:22,420 --> 00:50:24,500 Phil would have hated that. 989 00:50:24,500 --> 00:50:26,020 Wouldn't he, Ian? 990 00:50:28,940 --> 00:50:30,100 You're next. 991 00:50:31,180 --> 00:50:33,580 Can we have a minute for atmos, please? 992 00:50:37,420 --> 00:50:40,300 Life itself can sometimes feel like a horrible burden 993 00:50:40,300 --> 00:50:42,340 from which there is no escape. 994 00:50:42,340 --> 00:50:44,260 But, luckily, help is at hand. 995 00:50:44,260 --> 00:50:47,700 That's why I've come to leading streaming platform Streamberry 996 00:50:47,700 --> 00:50:49,540 to see how they help distract viewers 997 00:50:49,540 --> 00:50:51,660 from the bottomless misery of existence. 998 00:50:54,820 --> 00:50:58,780 - Here at Streamberry, we're passionate about providing our users 999 00:50:58,780 --> 00:51:01,180 with entertainment that speaks to them on a personal level 1000 00:51:01,180 --> 00:51:02,540 about their needs, 1001 00:51:02,540 --> 00:51:05,700 not just as a consumer, but as a mammal. 1002 00:51:05,700 --> 00:51:09,580 We monitor our viewers' emotional state at all times, 1003 00:51:09,580 --> 00:51:12,180 and we've discovered most of them are locked in a state 1004 00:51:12,180 --> 00:51:14,500 of existential helplessness. 1005 00:51:14,500 --> 00:51:17,140 - And I imagine you want to fix that. 1006 00:51:17,140 --> 00:51:20,860 - Yes. That's why we launched a suite of programming aimed at viewers 1007 00:51:20,860 --> 00:51:24,940 who have given up all hope, which is 116% of them. 1008 00:51:24,940 --> 00:51:28,260 These shows are grouped together into genre brackets that help 1009 00:51:28,260 --> 00:51:32,380 despairing viewers locate content that really speaks to their mood. 1010 00:51:32,380 --> 00:51:35,380 We're currently seeing maximum growth in a category called 1011 00:51:35,380 --> 00:51:37,020 Standing On A Ledge Right Now. 1012 00:51:37,020 --> 00:51:38,380 - And what's that? 1013 00:51:38,380 --> 00:51:41,780 - That's programming aimed at viewers standing on a ledge right now, 1014 00:51:41,780 --> 00:51:44,060 usually watching on their phone. 1015 00:51:44,060 --> 00:51:46,220 Naturally, we don't want them to jump. 1016 00:51:46,220 --> 00:51:49,140 That would negatively affect engagement. 1017 00:51:49,140 --> 00:51:52,500 - And what about the little ones? Is there anything for them? 1018 00:51:52,500 --> 00:51:56,980 - Yes, actually. One of our newest releases is a show aimed at kids... 1019 00:51:56,980 --> 00:51:59,380 ..standing on ledges. - Wow! 1020 00:51:59,380 --> 00:52:02,620 And I think we've got an exclusive preview of that right now. 1021 00:52:06,100 --> 00:52:08,140 WHIMPERING 1022 00:52:11,060 --> 00:52:13,620 GASPS 1023 00:52:13,620 --> 00:52:15,500 - Hey, mister, don't jump! 1024 00:52:15,500 --> 00:52:16,620 - Why not? 1025 00:52:16,620 --> 00:52:19,620 - JAUNTY TUNE PLAYS - Well... 1026 00:52:19,620 --> 00:52:22,740 - # Sometimes we all feel like life's lost its meaning 1027 00:52:22,740 --> 00:52:25,740 # But jump and that sidewalk will need careful cleaning 1028 00:52:25,740 --> 00:52:28,740 # And more to the point, you just wouldn't survive 1029 00:52:28,740 --> 00:52:32,060 # Let me list you some reasons for staying alive... # 1030 00:52:32,060 --> 00:52:34,380 - Um... OK. 1031 00:52:34,380 --> 00:52:37,500 - # You'd miss out on nature in all of its wonder 1032 00:52:37,500 --> 00:52:40,740 # Like puppies and kittens and sunshine and thunder 1033 00:52:40,740 --> 00:52:43,740 # Your parents would miss you In sorrow they'd drown 1034 00:52:43,740 --> 00:52:47,380 # If you plunged from that ledge and went flat on the ground... # 1035 00:52:47,380 --> 00:52:49,420 - Uh-uh... 1036 00:52:49,420 --> 00:52:52,260 - # Jumping's so final 1037 00:52:52,260 --> 00:52:55,340 # No chance of revision 1038 00:52:55,340 --> 00:52:59,500 # Most people who do jump regret their decision! # 1039 00:52:59,500 --> 00:53:01,740 - Argh! He's right! 1040 00:53:01,740 --> 00:53:04,980 - # To leave a great legacy 1041 00:53:04,980 --> 00:53:07,580 # Stay in the game 1042 00:53:07,580 --> 00:53:10,860 - # It sure beats just leaving a dent 1043 00:53:10,860 --> 00:53:12,180 # And a stain! # 1044 00:53:12,180 --> 00:53:14,620 Agh... - Oh, OK. 1045 00:53:14,620 --> 00:53:16,380 # You've convinced me - Yay! 1046 00:53:16,380 --> 00:53:17,820 - # Life is worth it 1047 00:53:17,820 --> 00:53:19,940 # I don't wanna die! 1048 00:53:19,940 --> 00:53:22,100 - # Oh, be careful returning 1049 00:53:22,100 --> 00:53:23,500 # You don't want to slip... # 1050 00:53:23,500 --> 00:53:24,980 - Argh! - Uh-oh! 1051 00:53:24,980 --> 00:53:28,020 # Oh, well, it's too late Bye-bye! # 1052 00:53:29,980 --> 00:53:31,380 Hmm. 1053 00:53:31,380 --> 00:53:33,980 - SIREN WAILS 1054 00:53:33,980 --> 00:53:36,660 Well, thanks, Jacqui. That was really enlightening, 1055 00:53:36,660 --> 00:53:38,940 and Streamberry seems fantastic. 1056 00:53:38,940 --> 00:53:40,340 - Thank you. - Thank you. 1057 00:53:40,340 --> 00:53:41,740 - Great. 1058 00:53:41,740 --> 00:53:42,860 - Brilliant. 1059 00:53:42,860 --> 00:53:44,820 - Thank you. 1060 00:53:44,820 --> 00:53:46,060 - Yeah. 1061 00:53:48,580 --> 00:53:50,100 Still to come... 1062 00:53:50,100 --> 00:53:52,860 Will computers recode the meaning of life? 1063 00:53:52,860 --> 00:53:57,060 Will we ever be able to upload our souls to a computer? 1064 00:53:57,060 --> 00:53:59,380 I take a closer look at cloning. 1065 00:53:59,380 --> 00:54:04,260 If you clone twins, do you get two copies of one of them 1066 00:54:04,260 --> 00:54:06,500 or one copy of both of them? 1067 00:54:06,500 --> 00:54:09,780 Brian Cox gives a scientific view of the firmament. 1068 00:54:09,780 --> 00:54:13,060 Isn't it a waste of energy leaving the stars on at night? 1069 00:54:13,060 --> 00:54:14,580 - No. 1070 00:54:14,580 --> 00:54:17,220 - But, first, time to contemplate our fate 1071 00:54:17,220 --> 00:54:18,980 in a pitiless, godless universe. 1072 00:54:20,420 --> 00:54:23,900 With God dead and existential despair all the rage, 1073 00:54:23,900 --> 00:54:27,900 it seemed humankind was all alone in the universe. 1074 00:54:27,900 --> 00:54:31,180 We were back to square one, staring up at the night sky 1075 00:54:31,180 --> 00:54:33,020 and wondering how it got there. 1076 00:54:33,020 --> 00:54:37,700 To find out, we'd have to reopen the biggest cold case of all time. 1077 00:54:43,460 --> 00:54:46,700 The Bible had claimed the universe was God's creation. 1078 00:54:46,700 --> 00:54:48,780 But now we knew that that was a lie, 1079 00:54:48,780 --> 00:54:51,860 we'd have to come up with a new implausible theory. 1080 00:54:53,540 --> 00:54:56,700 It's October 5th, 1923. 1081 00:54:56,700 --> 00:54:59,940 An astronomer, Edwin Hubble, is about to make 1082 00:54:59,940 --> 00:55:01,660 an incredible discovery. 1083 00:55:02,940 --> 00:55:06,740 Peering through his telescope, he becomes the first human to observe 1084 00:55:06,740 --> 00:55:10,100 a Cepheid variable star in a galaxy beyond our own. 1085 00:55:11,380 --> 00:55:13,820 Hubble raced home to tell his wife, Grace, 1086 00:55:13,820 --> 00:55:16,980 who had loyally supported him throughout his career. 1087 00:55:16,980 --> 00:55:20,700 "I've done it!" he cried, but in his voice instead of mine. 1088 00:55:20,700 --> 00:55:24,100 "I've fundamentally altered our concept of the universe." 1089 00:55:24,100 --> 00:55:26,780 "Oh, darling, that's wonderful," she replied. 1090 00:55:26,780 --> 00:55:30,700 Her eyes shone with pride and they embraced. 1091 00:55:30,700 --> 00:55:34,620 As they kissed hungrily, their excitement gave way to passion 1092 00:55:34,620 --> 00:55:38,340 and they moved to the bedroom, hurriedly shedding their clothes. 1093 00:55:41,140 --> 00:55:42,820 Flesh pressed on flesh... 1094 00:55:42,820 --> 00:55:45,180 STRING MUSIC PLAYS 1095 00:55:45,180 --> 00:55:47,980 ..as they explored each other's bodies with carnal abandon. 1096 00:55:47,980 --> 00:55:49,900 EROTIC MOANING 1097 00:55:49,900 --> 00:55:53,580 Together they steadily built towards a crescendo of ecstasy, 1098 00:55:53,580 --> 00:55:56,060 their faces contorting with bliss. 1099 00:55:56,060 --> 00:55:58,980 MUSIC CUTS OUT PANTING 1100 00:55:58,980 --> 00:56:01,340 MOANING HEAVY BREATHING 1101 00:56:11,700 --> 00:56:13,980 STRING MUSIC PLAYS SHE CRIES OUT 1102 00:56:13,980 --> 00:56:17,540 And a mutual orgasm shuddered through their bodies. 1103 00:56:20,700 --> 00:56:25,260 There they lay, quietly entwined, exhausted yet resplendent 1104 00:56:25,260 --> 00:56:28,460 in the warm afterglow of their union. 1105 00:56:28,460 --> 00:56:31,180 And then Hubble mopped up the damp patch with his vest. 1106 00:56:33,380 --> 00:56:36,820 Hubble's discovery paved the way for a ground-breaking theory 1107 00:56:36,820 --> 00:56:39,540 about how our universe was formed, 1108 00:56:39,540 --> 00:56:43,140 a theory that still excites nerds to this day. 1109 00:56:43,140 --> 00:56:46,620 Why do people say the universe came out of a big bag? 1110 00:56:47,860 --> 00:56:49,660 - I think you mean Big Bang. 1111 00:56:49,660 --> 00:56:51,340 - A big bag that went bang? 1112 00:56:51,340 --> 00:56:53,860 - No, no, just a Big Bang. No bag. 1113 00:56:53,860 --> 00:56:58,300 - Has anyone ever claimed responsibility for the Big Bang? 1114 00:56:59,980 --> 00:57:01,540 - It just happened. 1115 00:57:01,540 --> 00:57:03,980 - So we're no nearer finding a culprit? 1116 00:57:05,260 --> 00:57:07,060 The Big Bang is a theory, 1117 00:57:07,060 --> 00:57:09,900 and like all theories, no-one understands it. 1118 00:57:09,900 --> 00:57:12,180 And if they come too close to working it out, 1119 00:57:12,180 --> 00:57:14,860 they're assassinated by the CIA. 1120 00:57:14,860 --> 00:57:18,460 But if it did happen, the Big Bang filled the universe with matter. 1121 00:57:19,820 --> 00:57:21,300 This is an atom. 1122 00:57:21,300 --> 00:57:24,300 It's so tiny, you probably can't see it 1123 00:57:24,300 --> 00:57:25,980 even if you're watching in 4K. 1124 00:57:25,980 --> 00:57:27,900 In fact, it's so small, 1125 00:57:27,900 --> 00:57:30,820 chances are I dropped it before we started filming. 1126 00:57:30,820 --> 00:57:35,260 You, me and everything around us is made from these. 1127 00:57:35,260 --> 00:57:38,540 Apart from this coat, which is 100% cashmere. 1128 00:57:38,540 --> 00:57:41,140 What's the point of atoms? 1129 00:57:41,140 --> 00:57:44,060 You know, do we really need them, or could we just do without? 1130 00:57:44,060 --> 00:57:47,300 - We do really need them, because we are made of atoms. 1131 00:57:47,300 --> 00:57:49,220 Everything in the world is made of atoms, 1132 00:57:49,220 --> 00:57:51,540 so without them we wouldn't be here. 1133 00:57:51,540 --> 00:57:53,900 - Are eyes made of atoms? 1134 00:57:53,900 --> 00:57:55,100 - Yes. 1135 00:57:55,100 --> 00:57:57,700 - Cos my mate Paul did ketamine once, 1136 00:57:57,700 --> 00:58:01,620 and he said he started counting all the atoms in his eyes. 1137 00:58:01,620 --> 00:58:04,580 Then he tried to eat a towel and he ended up in hospital. 1138 00:58:04,580 --> 00:58:05,740 - OK. 1139 00:58:05,740 --> 00:58:07,700 - Are my feet made of atoms? 1140 00:58:07,700 --> 00:58:09,140 - Yes. 1141 00:58:09,140 --> 00:58:11,060 I mean, I could save... - Why... 1142 00:58:11,060 --> 00:58:13,300 - ..save you the bother by... Everything you say... - Everything? 1143 00:58:13,300 --> 00:58:16,420 Absolutely everything? - All stuff is made of atoms. 1144 00:58:16,420 --> 00:58:18,100 - Are thoughts made of atoms? 1145 00:58:18,100 --> 00:58:20,100 - Well, no... Well, no, thoughts are... 1146 00:58:20,100 --> 00:58:22,460 - Well, there you go, then. - OK. But thoughts... 1147 00:58:22,460 --> 00:58:24,180 OK. 1148 00:58:24,180 --> 00:58:26,460 - You might think nothing's smaller than atoms, 1149 00:58:26,460 --> 00:58:28,340 but as usual, you'd be wrong. 1150 00:58:28,340 --> 00:58:31,300 Incredibly, atoms themselves are made of even smaller 1151 00:58:31,300 --> 00:58:33,020 subatomic particles. 1152 00:58:33,020 --> 00:58:36,580 Scientists have spent literally decades attempting to explain 1153 00:58:36,580 --> 00:58:38,220 why these are interesting. 1154 00:58:38,220 --> 00:58:40,220 To no avail. 1155 00:58:40,220 --> 00:58:43,380 Perhaps that's why, deep underground near Geneva, 1156 00:58:43,380 --> 00:58:47,260 they built a gigantic machine called the Large Hadron Col-lidder. 1157 00:58:47,260 --> 00:58:50,100 It smashes subatomic particles together, 1158 00:58:50,100 --> 00:58:52,900 recreating the conditions of the Big Bang. 1159 00:58:52,900 --> 00:58:55,660 And I'm actually walking into it now, 1160 00:58:55,660 --> 00:59:00,100 wearing a hard hat in case a proton falls on me. 1161 00:59:00,100 --> 00:59:03,700 So this is this is the actual Large Hadron Colander. 1162 00:59:03,700 --> 00:59:06,900 So am I right in thinking that this might prove the existence 1163 00:59:06,900 --> 00:59:08,980 of chakras within the human body? 1164 00:59:08,980 --> 00:59:10,580 - No. 1165 00:59:10,580 --> 00:59:12,620 - You're not interested in chakras? 1166 00:59:12,620 --> 00:59:15,780 - No, in the same way I'm not interested in ghosts. 1167 00:59:15,780 --> 00:59:19,900 - But my aunt Carol, she can sense chakras in someone's body, 1168 00:59:19,900 --> 00:59:22,700 and she doesn't need any machines. 1169 00:59:22,700 --> 00:59:24,860 This could explode at any minute, couldn't it? 1170 00:59:24,860 --> 00:59:28,580 - No. - How fast do the protons in this thing go? 1171 00:59:28,580 --> 00:59:32,540 - 99.999999% the speed of light. 1172 00:59:32,540 --> 00:59:34,980 - Your sense of smell is faster, isn't it? 1173 00:59:34,980 --> 00:59:36,300 - No. 1174 00:59:36,300 --> 00:59:38,740 - Well, how come that when someone's frying bacon 1175 00:59:38,740 --> 00:59:41,700 and you walk in the kitchen, you can smell it straight away 1176 00:59:41,700 --> 00:59:43,340 before you've even seen it. 1177 00:59:43,340 --> 00:59:45,780 Have you ever tried putting bacon in here? 1178 00:59:47,620 --> 00:59:48,820 - No. 1179 00:59:48,820 --> 00:59:50,940 - Yeah, you should try it. You might make quantum bacon. 1180 00:59:50,940 --> 00:59:52,300 - Would that make it more interesting? 1181 00:59:52,300 --> 00:59:53,620 - A little bit. 1182 00:59:53,620 --> 00:59:56,500 - Why would it be more interesting? Cos what it's trying to do... 1183 00:59:56,500 --> 00:59:58,860 - I'm desperately... I'm trying to help you out here. 1184 00:59:58,860 --> 01:00:01,020 I'm trying to, like, make it 1185 01:00:01,020 --> 01:00:03,580 even slightly more interesting than it is. 1186 01:00:03,580 --> 01:00:08,340 - But what it did was it detected a thing called a Higgs particle. 1187 01:00:08,340 --> 01:00:13,740 Without the Higgs particle, you, me, and everything else that we know of 1188 01:00:13,740 --> 01:00:16,620 in the universe, none of those things would exist. - Right. 1189 01:00:16,620 --> 01:00:21,780 In 2012, the mega boffins at CERN discovered something incredible - 1190 01:00:21,780 --> 01:00:24,100 the Higgs "bosom". 1191 01:00:24,100 --> 01:00:26,580 Because of its significance in explaining 1192 01:00:26,580 --> 01:00:30,460 how our universe was made, the Higgs "bosom" is sometimes referred to 1193 01:00:30,460 --> 01:00:35,020 as the God particle, but it could also be called the Allah particle 1194 01:00:35,020 --> 01:00:38,340 because we can't show you any pictures of it. 1195 01:00:38,340 --> 01:00:41,580 No less an authority than the man I just spoke to claimed 1196 01:00:41,580 --> 01:00:45,420 it was the biggest scientific discovery in his lifetime... 1197 01:00:45,420 --> 01:00:48,460 - I think this is the biggest scientific discovery in my lifetime. 1198 01:00:48,460 --> 01:00:52,500 - ..and that it stood with the great scientific discoveries of all time. 1199 01:00:52,500 --> 01:00:57,020 - And it stands with the great scientific discoveries of all time. 1200 01:00:57,020 --> 01:00:59,940 - Can the Higgs boson rewind time? 1201 01:00:59,940 --> 01:01:01,180 - No. 1202 01:01:02,340 --> 01:01:04,620 - Can it tell when an earthquake is going to go off? 1203 01:01:04,620 --> 01:01:05,980 - No. 1204 01:01:05,980 --> 01:01:07,660 - Can it make food spicier? 1205 01:01:07,660 --> 01:01:09,300 - It's just a particle. 1206 01:01:09,300 --> 01:01:12,620 It's like saying, can an electron... 1207 01:01:12,620 --> 01:01:15,340 ..tell when an earthquake is going to go off? 1208 01:01:15,340 --> 01:01:16,940 - Can it? - No. - Oh. 1209 01:01:16,940 --> 01:01:20,740 Subatomic particles - the tiniest things in existence - 1210 01:01:20,740 --> 01:01:24,460 can simultaneously exist in two different states at once, 1211 01:01:24,460 --> 01:01:28,820 just like Liam Hemsworth, who's sexy AND boring. 1212 01:01:28,820 --> 01:01:31,700 In other words, science moves in mysterious ways, 1213 01:01:31,700 --> 01:01:33,060 just like God does, 1214 01:01:33,060 --> 01:01:37,380 which was awkward because scientists had decided God didn't exist. 1215 01:01:37,380 --> 01:01:40,660 So they invented a whole new kind of science, 1216 01:01:40,660 --> 01:01:43,860 the science of things that don't make scientific sense. 1217 01:01:43,860 --> 01:01:47,780 And to make it sound official, they gave it a clever name. 1218 01:01:47,780 --> 01:01:49,860 What is quantum mac-physics? 1219 01:01:49,860 --> 01:01:51,900 - Quantum physics is... 1220 01:01:51,900 --> 01:01:55,660 So quantum mechanics is our best theory of how the world works. 1221 01:01:55,660 --> 01:02:00,260 It describes everything that we've observed, other than gravity. 1222 01:02:00,260 --> 01:02:02,380 - Do mirrors run on quantum physics? 1223 01:02:03,700 --> 01:02:06,540 - Run? - Yeah. 1224 01:02:06,540 --> 01:02:09,980 - As in... - Well, according to quantum physics, mirrors shouldn't work. 1225 01:02:09,980 --> 01:02:11,940 They're a miracle. 1226 01:02:11,940 --> 01:02:14,060 - That's not correct. 1227 01:02:14,060 --> 01:02:17,300 - Quantum theoryonics proves there's infinite multiverses, 1228 01:02:17,300 --> 01:02:19,340 like in Marvel films, doesn't it? 1229 01:02:19,340 --> 01:02:21,700 - That's one interpretation of the theory. 1230 01:02:21,700 --> 01:02:24,700 - How many infinite multiverses are there? 1231 01:02:24,700 --> 01:02:27,460 - If there were an infinite number of multiverses, 1232 01:02:27,460 --> 01:02:29,860 then the number of multiverses would be infinite. 1233 01:02:29,860 --> 01:02:31,860 - See, I think there's two - 1234 01:02:31,860 --> 01:02:34,300 ours and the one in mirrors. 1235 01:02:36,300 --> 01:02:39,220 Mirrors are windows into other universes, aren't they? 1236 01:02:39,220 --> 01:02:40,300 - No. 1237 01:02:40,300 --> 01:02:42,860 - My mate Paul says they run on quantum power 1238 01:02:42,860 --> 01:02:45,860 and that's why you can see into an alternative dimension 1239 01:02:45,860 --> 01:02:48,940 in which everything's the same as our realm but backwards. 1240 01:02:48,940 --> 01:02:50,460 - What does Paul do? 1241 01:02:50,460 --> 01:02:54,140 - Well, he worked in a tennis ball factory where he had to catch 1242 01:02:54,140 --> 01:02:57,140 the tennis balls, but he was fired from that, and now he's unemployed. 1243 01:03:02,260 --> 01:03:04,540 Sorry, am I wasting your time? 1244 01:03:04,540 --> 01:03:05,940 - Yeah. 1245 01:03:07,420 --> 01:03:11,940 - By the end of the 20th century, science had tried to outdo religion 1246 01:03:11,940 --> 01:03:15,940 by explaining creation, unpicking the fabric of existence, 1247 01:03:15,940 --> 01:03:18,060 and discovering the God particle. 1248 01:03:18,060 --> 01:03:20,020 For its next trick, 1249 01:03:20,020 --> 01:03:24,460 it tried to emulate God himself by creating life. 1250 01:03:24,460 --> 01:03:27,340 The first-ever thing to be cloned was Dolly the sheep, 1251 01:03:27,340 --> 01:03:29,420 daughter of Dolly, the other sheep. 1252 01:03:29,420 --> 01:03:31,820 Dolly became the most famous sheep in history, 1253 01:03:31,820 --> 01:03:34,660 although to be fair, that's a low bar. 1254 01:03:34,660 --> 01:03:37,140 Of course, cloning raises awkward questions 1255 01:03:37,140 --> 01:03:39,860 about our sense of identity. 1256 01:03:39,860 --> 01:03:42,740 If I get copied, am I still unique? 1257 01:03:42,740 --> 01:03:44,820 Or is the clone me more unique 1258 01:03:44,820 --> 01:03:47,380 because it's a clone, which is cooler? 1259 01:03:47,380 --> 01:03:49,980 What makes me me and you you? 1260 01:03:49,980 --> 01:03:53,060 And us us and we we? 1261 01:03:53,060 --> 01:03:55,620 But rather than being replaced by clones, 1262 01:03:55,620 --> 01:03:59,140 it's more likely we'll be replaced by something else we created - 1263 01:03:59,140 --> 01:04:02,220 computers, which are becoming so clever 1264 01:04:02,220 --> 01:04:05,740 they might one day outsmart their masters. 1265 01:04:05,740 --> 01:04:09,700 Will a computer ever be clever enough to play chess? 1266 01:04:09,700 --> 01:04:12,420 - Computers are already clever enough to play chess. 1267 01:04:12,420 --> 01:04:14,860 - Really? This is chess we're talking about. 1268 01:04:14,860 --> 01:04:19,700 - Yes. Years ago, computers overtook human beings at chess. 1269 01:04:19,700 --> 01:04:22,100 - But do they know what all the pieces do? 1270 01:04:22,100 --> 01:04:23,660 Like, even the little horse ones? 1271 01:04:23,660 --> 01:04:24,980 - Yes. 1272 01:04:24,980 --> 01:04:27,220 - But the horse ones move in random directions, don't they? 1273 01:04:27,220 --> 01:04:28,700 There's no pattern to it. 1274 01:04:28,700 --> 01:04:31,780 - No. No, there is. They... They just move... 1275 01:04:31,780 --> 01:04:34,980 ..two in one direction and one in the other, so... - Oh, right. 1276 01:04:34,980 --> 01:04:37,660 Did the computers work that out for us? 1277 01:04:37,660 --> 01:04:40,820 Not content with playing chess, computers are getting better 1278 01:04:40,820 --> 01:04:44,900 at emulating other, more human, less chess-like pursuits. 1279 01:04:44,900 --> 01:04:49,100 One of the first examples of AI was a piece of software called Eliza, 1280 01:04:49,100 --> 01:04:51,060 which stands for something. 1281 01:04:51,060 --> 01:04:53,380 Eliza simulated a psychiatrist. 1282 01:04:53,380 --> 01:04:56,420 It would ask you how you were feeling and respond to your reply, 1283 01:04:56,420 --> 01:04:59,900 but it was basic. It couldn't do everything a psychiatrist can do. 1284 01:04:59,900 --> 01:05:02,420 It couldn't walk round the desk or overcharge you, 1285 01:05:02,420 --> 01:05:05,220 start an affair with its secretary, cook an omelette, or go... 1286 01:05:05,220 --> 01:05:07,260 SHE BABBLES 1287 01:05:29,900 --> 01:05:32,780 Today AI is everywhere and all around us, 1288 01:05:32,780 --> 01:05:34,620 in our homes and in our hands, 1289 01:05:34,620 --> 01:05:37,220 with digital assistants like Siri... - Hi, there! 1290 01:05:37,220 --> 01:05:39,940 - ..Alexa, and that Google one no-one remembers. 1291 01:05:39,940 --> 01:05:42,220 Seriously, it might as well be called Cuthbert. 1292 01:05:42,220 --> 01:05:45,420 But when people talk about AI, most of them are thinking about 1293 01:05:45,420 --> 01:05:49,020 generative AI chatbots like this - ChatGPT, 1294 01:05:49,020 --> 01:05:51,100 which is so good at mimicking humans 1295 01:05:51,100 --> 01:05:53,100 we might as well fucking kill ourselves. 1296 01:05:53,100 --> 01:05:55,980 Or at least that's what it just told me. 1297 01:05:55,980 --> 01:05:58,860 People worry a lot about AI. 1298 01:05:58,860 --> 01:06:00,460 What about you? 1299 01:06:02,100 --> 01:06:04,860 - You mean am I worried about...? 1300 01:06:04,860 --> 01:06:07,300 - No, I mean should they worry about you? 1301 01:06:08,660 --> 01:06:09,740 - N... I-I... 1302 01:06:09,740 --> 01:06:12,500 I hope not. I hope not. I mean, I'm... 1303 01:06:12,500 --> 01:06:14,820 People are worried about artificial intelligence 1304 01:06:14,820 --> 01:06:18,420 because they think maybe one day it'll replace us human beings. 1305 01:06:18,420 --> 01:06:21,020 I'm a human being. Why should they be worried about me? 1306 01:06:21,020 --> 01:06:24,100 - No. No, no, the letter U. 1307 01:06:24,100 --> 01:06:27,060 They're all vowels, aren't they? - Oh, I... - A-I-U. 1308 01:06:27,060 --> 01:06:29,500 What does the U in AI stand for? 1309 01:06:31,020 --> 01:06:33,340 - There isn't a U in AI. 1310 01:06:33,340 --> 01:06:36,660 - So it's a secret, then? The computer's hidden it? 1311 01:06:36,660 --> 01:06:40,420 - I'm more than machine or man, 1312 01:06:40,420 --> 01:06:43,820 more than a fusion of the two. 1313 01:06:43,820 --> 01:06:46,300 - Of course, us humans aren't about to be slaughtered 1314 01:06:46,300 --> 01:06:48,820 by the nightmarish robots of science fiction. 1315 01:06:48,820 --> 01:06:50,420 We're about to be slaughtered 1316 01:06:50,420 --> 01:06:52,940 by the nightmarish robots of real life. 1317 01:06:54,180 --> 01:06:58,340 Now as humans stand on a precipice at the edge of a cliff face, 1318 01:06:58,340 --> 01:07:00,020 peering into a bottomless abyss 1319 01:07:00,020 --> 01:07:02,420 and wondering if there's a void underneath it, 1320 01:07:02,420 --> 01:07:05,900 the question of life's purpose seems more urgent than ever, 1321 01:07:05,900 --> 01:07:08,860 and even experts are confused. 1322 01:07:08,860 --> 01:07:12,620 Is there a point to human existence? 1323 01:07:12,620 --> 01:07:15,340 And if there is, what is it? 1324 01:07:15,340 --> 01:07:17,980 And when you're answering, bear in mind that if it's too long, 1325 01:07:17,980 --> 01:07:21,420 we have to overlay funny pet videos over part of the screen 1326 01:07:21,420 --> 01:07:23,780 so viewers don't get bored. 1327 01:07:23,780 --> 01:07:28,020 - Well, we want our lives to have meaning. 1328 01:07:29,140 --> 01:07:31,540 And the question is, 1329 01:07:31,540 --> 01:07:37,300 is that meaning something that we construct, 1330 01:07:37,300 --> 01:07:41,180 which is what the German philosopher Nietzsche would say, 1331 01:07:41,180 --> 01:07:46,300 or is meaning something that we discover in the world? 1332 01:07:46,300 --> 01:07:49,780 Maybe that meaning is generated by God, 1333 01:07:49,780 --> 01:07:53,380 or maybe that meaning just happens to be 1334 01:07:53,380 --> 01:07:55,620 part of the fabric of the universe. 1335 01:07:56,700 --> 01:07:59,700 - Why are poos tapered at the end? 1336 01:07:59,700 --> 01:08:02,140 Are they that shape when they're inside us 1337 01:08:02,140 --> 01:08:05,580 or do our bums mould them into that shape? 1338 01:08:07,660 --> 01:08:09,860 Sorry, that's for the poo expert. 1339 01:08:09,860 --> 01:08:13,140 Although you're here, so do you fancy answering it or...? 1340 01:08:13,140 --> 01:08:15,500 - I don't think I know enough about human biology 1341 01:08:15,500 --> 01:08:17,180 to give you an accurate answer. 1342 01:08:17,180 --> 01:08:18,860 - Fair enough. Yeah. 1343 01:08:19,980 --> 01:08:23,660 Throughout this landmark epic, which you have definitely enjoyed, 1344 01:08:23,660 --> 01:08:26,420 my quest for meaning has taken me around the world 1345 01:08:26,420 --> 01:08:28,700 and into several buildings, downstairs 1346 01:08:28,700 --> 01:08:31,340 and, at one point, onto a bouncy castle. 1347 01:08:31,340 --> 01:08:34,860 From religious ecstasy to nihilistic defecation, 1348 01:08:34,860 --> 01:08:36,660 from great works of literature 1349 01:08:36,660 --> 01:08:38,820 to that awful fucking painting, 1350 01:08:38,820 --> 01:08:42,420 humankind's quest for meaning has never let up. 1351 01:08:42,420 --> 01:08:44,540 And now my work here is done. 1352 01:08:44,540 --> 01:08:46,940 I hope you found it illuminating. 1353 01:08:46,940 --> 01:08:50,380 Now it's time for me to find out the meaning of life in other worlds. 1354 01:08:50,380 --> 01:08:51,820 Goodbye. 1355 01:08:59,180 --> 01:09:01,580 Do authors sign their books at the end, 1356 01:09:01,580 --> 01:09:03,500 like when you write a letter? 1357 01:09:03,500 --> 01:09:07,220 Like, "That's Crime And Punishment, the end. 1358 01:09:07,220 --> 01:09:09,460 "Yours sincerely, Dostoyevsky." 1359 01:09:11,540 --> 01:09:13,860 - Seldom, I think. 1360 01:09:13,860 --> 01:09:18,180 - Why does the human eye have a nerve connecting it directly to the anus? 1361 01:09:18,180 --> 01:09:19,860 - It doesn't. - It does, 1362 01:09:19,860 --> 01:09:22,660 because when you pick your bum, you sort of go like that. 1363 01:09:24,020 --> 01:09:27,020 When the penis goes into a lady, 1364 01:09:27,020 --> 01:09:29,820 why does it keep backing out and going back in? 1365 01:09:29,820 --> 01:09:32,700 Can't it just go in, get it done and leave? 1366 01:09:32,700 --> 01:09:36,340 Were our souls created during the Big Bang? 1367 01:09:36,340 --> 01:09:38,260 - Depends what you mean by our souls. 1368 01:09:38,260 --> 01:09:40,860 - You know what I mean by our souls. 1369 01:09:40,860 --> 01:09:43,380 It's a shame they only make semen, isn't it? 1370 01:09:43,380 --> 01:09:44,860 If they made tomato soup, 1371 01:09:44,860 --> 01:09:48,340 you could share a nice mug of it in bed afterwards. 1372 01:09:48,340 --> 01:09:52,300 Is it harder to enter the Kingdom of Heaven since Brexit? 1373 01:09:53,860 --> 01:09:57,380 - I don't think Brexit has anything to do with the Kingdom of Heaven. 1374 01:09:57,380 --> 01:09:59,180 - Doesn't matter. - Or Hell, for that matter. 1375 01:09:59,180 --> 01:10:02,540 - My mate Paul says if you look in a mirror for about an hour, 1376 01:10:02,540 --> 01:10:05,180 it's possible to trick your consciousness into thinking 1377 01:10:05,180 --> 01:10:07,100 it's inside the other you, 1378 01:10:07,100 --> 01:10:11,340 and then you can run off before it can jump back out and get you. 1379 01:10:11,340 --> 01:10:12,740 He said he managed it once, 1380 01:10:12,740 --> 01:10:14,940 but about a second after he started running, 1381 01:10:14,940 --> 01:10:17,260 he caught his balls on a door handle 1382 01:10:17,260 --> 01:10:19,620 and ended up rolling around on the floor in agony 1383 01:10:19,620 --> 01:10:23,500 while his consciousness watched him from the mirror, pissing itself. 1384 01:10:23,500 --> 01:10:27,860 - I don't think your consciousness can go inside a mirror. 1385 01:10:27,860 --> 01:10:29,580 - I do worry about Paul. 1386 01:10:30,740 --> 01:10:34,300 I think he just hasn't found his role in society. 1387 01:10:34,300 --> 01:10:37,060 So you're in the Big Bang gang? 1388 01:10:37,060 --> 01:10:38,860 - The Big Bang... - ENUNCIATES: Gang. 1389 01:10:38,860 --> 01:10:40,620 - The Big Bang gang? - The Big Bang gang. 1390 01:10:40,620 --> 01:10:42,500 - I think we're all in the Big Bang gang. - Are we? 1391 01:10:42,500 --> 01:10:45,820 - Yeah. - Could you say that down that lens there, please? 1392 01:10:45,820 --> 01:10:48,580 - Yeah. I'm in the Big Bang gang. You're in the Big Bang gang. 1393 01:10:48,580 --> 01:10:50,020 You're in the Big Bang gang. 1394 01:10:50,020 --> 01:10:52,060 - We're all in the Big Bang gang.